Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief Paperback – 16 Sep 2000
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From the Publisher
Evelyn Robinson is a mother who lost her first child, Stephen, through adoption. After her reunion with Stephen, Evelyn returned to study and completed a post-graduate degree in social work. Evelyns work is unique as it combines both her personal and her professional experience. Her writing style is accessible and her book makes compelling reading. Evelyn has a personal commitment to supporting those whose lives have been affected by adoption and to increasing public awareness of adoption issues. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From the Author
I believe that my book Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief is unique in that it combines my personal experience with my social work research. As far as I am aware, I am the only professional person associated with adoption who has also had a personal adoption experience, who has reached the conclusions that I have reached. I challenge those who are interested in adoption, past and future, to read my book with an open mind and a willingness to consider the ideas which I present. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.See all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
As far as I'm aware Author "Evelyn Burns Robinson" has been the first person to have researched and discovered the correlation between adoption loss and grief, as being "disenfranchised grief". And then taking that information, and not only publishing books about that, but also spreading that information world wide. I have no doubt that she has literally helped thousands, with her knowledge wisdom and insights.
Evelyn herself, being a mother who lost her first born child through adoption, his name is Stephen and he was born in Edinburgh in 1970.
So Evelyn writes not only from first hand experience, but also from a professional viewpoint.
I too lost my first born a precious daughter to adoption. From my personal experience and perspective, I cannot thank Evelyn enough. I was so relieved to finally read, two books that understood and acknowledged my grief. Everything Evelyn had written I found truthful and correct.
The two books are "Adoption and Loss", the hidden grief, the second companion book entitled "Adoption and Recovery", solving the mystery of reunion.
In my opinion Evelyn has unravelled the truth.
Although I believe that total healing from such a trauma as ours, is probably impossible. Having just said that, much can be done to implement the healing process. The answers, and the how to, I believe are in Evelyn's books.
I highly recommend both of Evelyn's books, they are invaluable, not only to people personally affected by adoption separations but their families, and the professionals who work with them, and the community in general.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
The question most often asked of women who relinquish their babies to be adopted is "how could you." Few in society have any understanding of why women relinquish their own babies to the care of others. Hence, I believe, the myth has arisen that these mothers never loved their babies and voluntarily abandoned them. In her book Evelyn Robinson carefully analyses why pefectly normal, sane women allowed their babies to be adopted. This is essential reading for all natural mothers of adopted children, adopters, adopted persons and policy makers.
Evelyn Robinson states "It is obvious that a serious loss is experienced by the women...who gave birth to children who are subsequently adopted by someone else...." She explains why the grief of these women does not diminish with time, but increases in intensity with the passage of time. Her analysis of this phenomenon releases natural mothers from their rusty shackles of shame and guilt. It is clear that not only did natural mothers have little in the way of financial resources to enable them to care for their children, their families, society, social workers and health professionals conspired to disempower and silence them.
The author encourages natural mothers to search for the adult children they relinquished to be adopted. She describes her search and subsequent reunion with her son, the difficulties encountered along the way, including telling her other four children that they had an older brother and the ongoing relationship they now have.
Evelyn Robinson relinquished her son in the early 1970's. Much of what she describes in her book - the pain adoption causes to natural mothers and adopted persons - is now well known by professionals involved with adoption. One must question why this practice continues - who benefits?
The last part of Evelyn Robinson's book is a call for an end to the practice of adoption, and an exploration of alternative forms of care for children whose families are unable to care for them.
Evelyn raise the question of `acquiescence' for the natural mother and then dispels it by revealing the truth about the coercion involved in gaining consent for adoption. Evelyn also acknowledges the pain and hidden grief suffered by adopted people and lifts the veil of secrecy that surrounds adoption. She examines adoption's dark underbelly and the [idea] of silence that often works to maintain the spiritual, intellectual and physical separation between natural mother's and their children.
This book is highly recommended and a `must read' both for professionals working in the area of adoption and all of those many millions of people, worldwide, who have been touched by adoption. This book will be especially valuable to adoptive parents because it provides an account of the (often unacknowledged) experiences of birthmothers and their children. Many of these individuals have in the past, and will continue in the future, to be consumed by adoptions unresolved grief.
Thank you Evelyn Burns Robinson, your book is great!!