Buy New

Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
Buy Used
Used - Very Good See details
Price: 1.96

More Buying Choices
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Image not available

Tell the Publisher!
Id like to read this book on Kindle

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

Why do women write more letters than they post? [Paperback]

Darian Leader
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
RRP: 8.99
Price: 7.19 & FREE Delivery in the UK on orders over 10. Details
You Save: 1.80 (20%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Only 7 left in stock (more on the way).
Dispatched from and sold by Amazon. Gift-wrap available.
Want it Tuesday, 22 April? Choose Express delivery at checkout. Details


Amazon Price New from Used from
Hardcover --  
Paperback 7.19 Trade-In Store
Did you know you can use your mobile to trade in your unwanted books for an Gift Card to spend on the things you want? Visit the Books Trade-In Store for more details or check out the Trade-In Amazon Mobile App Guidelines on how to trade in using a smartphone. Learn more.

Book Description

17 Feb 1997
Why do men tend to keep love letters in files along with their other correspondence, whereas women keep them with their clothes? And if a letter is written but not posted, at whom is it really directed? As psychoanalyst Darian Leader shows, such questions go to the heart of sexual desire, which is never addressed to our flesh and blood companion, but always to something beyond him or her. In an engaging, at times startling, enquiry into the fundamental loneliness of each sex, Leader asks why relationships frequently run aground on the trivial question, 'What are you thinking?' If a man chooses as his partner a woman unlike his mother, why does he try to make her behave towards him exactly as his mother did, when he was a boy? And why might a woman decide not to spend the night with a man, after one glimpse of his apartment?

Frequently Bought Together

Why do women write more letters than they post? + The New Black: Mourning, Melancholia and Depression + Why Do People Get Ill?: Exploring the Mind-body Connection
Price For All Three: 22.97

Buy the selected items together

Product details

  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Faber & Faber; New Ed edition (17 Feb 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0571179312
  • ISBN-13: 978-0571179312
  • Product Dimensions: 1.3 x 12.4 x 19.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 307,122 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

Darian Leader is a psychoanalyst and a founder member of the Centre for Freudian Analysis and Research in London. He is the author of, among others, Why do women write more letters than they post?, Promises lovers make when it gets late, Freud's Footnotes, Stealing the Mona Lisa, Why Do People Get Ill? and The New Black.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Excerpt | Back Cover
Search inside this book:

Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store

If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store. Learn more

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?

Customer Reviews

3 star
2 star
1 star
4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars What is an argument? 4 Dec 2010
By Four Violets VINE VOICE
There was very little of this that I really got to grips with. The point the author was trying to make with most of his quotations from plays, mythology, films, and real life case histories, shot right over my head, unfortunately. Maybe one needs a background in psychoanalysis. I like the fact that Leader admits (quite rightly) that some may find the book's outlook pessimistic: "Q: How do men and women live together? A: They get jobs."

He attempts to explain how, with men and women's very different programming, problems inevitably arise. Men are (ok, I get this bit, Freud), programmed to fall in love with their mothers, and as a result many are doomed to be attracted to women firmly in a relationship (repeating the situation of the man`s mother, who is attached to another man - the father). Even for those who attach to a single woman, the invisible presence of the father lurks, the rival for the mother's affection.

So what about the letters - or, as the book appeared in 1996, can we now substitute "email", a another written communication - which may function as an index of the void "left by something precious". Why would it be women who seek to communicate more? Quoting Lacan, a successor of Freud, Leader theorises that women spend an inordinate amount of time worrying over whether their partner really loves them, ("does the other love me?") whereas the man will spend his hours doubting his own love for the one he has chosen ("do I love the other?").

In Leader's words a man will frequently "panic and run off" when faced with the continuity of a woman's demand for love.
Read more ›
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars fascinating 28 Nov 2009
By Incomer
Found the book very interesting, At times I questioned the ongoing use of generalisations - Leader points attention to the limits of this himself (i assume he's a man). I also wonder if we can still make the same generalisations about women and men that freud and lacan made -now that forces in modern culture are changing / trying to eliminate traditional gender roles etc.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 3.0 out of 5 stars  1 review
0 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I read this a few years ago 27 July 2008
By P. Murray - Published on
I read this book a few years back, and then bought a stack of "Romance Novels" from the second-hand bookstore ("Romance Novels" is a misnomer. They are porn, in the strict sense of the word).

The experience turned me into a dreadful misogynist, which I remain to this day. If you want to avoid having your house and income taken from you by some woman or other, or - god forbid - have had it happen and want to understand why, this book might help.

On the down side, it's full of little psychoanalytical jargon terms ('Register' was one of them) which all boil down to synonyms for 'thing'. A little annoying.
Was this review helpful?   Let us know
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
First post:
Prompts for sign-in

Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions

Look for similar items by category