What would you all say is the worst idea for a new horror movie, mine would be.... Jaws in Space!

The year is 2309 and the desendent of the killer shark who is intellegent thanks to meddling scientists passes a sanity test proving himself stable and safe to be around, as such those same scientists figure they should modify his DNA further to allow him to float through the air and have no need to breath at all. The shark is flying through space but is he up to no good? Meanwhile Brody's desendent (played by Steven Segal) is assisting a ship moving cargo from one planet to another, needless to say the shark attacks the ship, they try to call for help but he cuts the ships phone lines and even erases all their Ipod downloads... the fiend! After much people munching the secret weapon appears, its Micheal Caine's character from "Jaws the Revenge" who promised he would protect the Brody line from the inevitable shark attacks that would ensue and he's now a CGI half android, after much slow motion Matrix style fighting the shark finally chews Caine up and heads for Segal, on the way he's distracted by the female lead and Segal's girlfriend played by Madonna, the shark falls in love but is rejected and the fight against Segal kicks off, they smack each other senseless with their martail arts (both are trained fighters) but they seem too evenly matched, just as they seem to be going for the final attack Madge jumps between them trying to stop the meaningless violence, she is killed. Segal and the shark sob for a few minutes then hug and promise to put their differences aside in respect of Madonna's noble sacrifice... until "Jaws in Space 2".

Post your own terrible film idea's and have a laugh.

I would watch that.

that idea sounds hilarious im trying to think of one myself guess i will just have to come back to this.

i thought of a sequel to cabin fever called cabinet fever. I'm not too sure what would happen but it couldn't be much worse than slugs.

It's taken me a long time to come up with anything for this, but like buses two have come along at once:

THE FIREWORK KILLER (aka Remember Dismember The 5th of November)

An unhinged horror film fan, with a decent stack of recently purchased DVDs, is unable to enjoy his films in peace as a result of simpletons setting off explosives at all hours of the day and night around the beginning of November. In the middle of a particularly thrilling giallo, he finally snaps during a ten minute air bombardment taking place right outside his bedroom window, and pledges fiery vengeance on all who disturb his enjoyment. Donning a pair of black gloves, he sets out to hunt down and insert fireworks into the orifices of various offenders. He is dubbed "The Firework Killer"...

THE SCREWFIX KILLER (aka DIY MANIAC aka GOT A SCREW LOOSE?)

The first product placement slasher / torture porn epic, officially sponsored by leading suppliers of DIY components...
I see a extended montage of bound victims suffering agonising terror as the killer flicks through the Screwfix catalogue wondering what tools and hardware to use next. He then orders the chosen implements by phone in front of them. Scenes of almost unbearable tension and depravity follow as he waits for the order to be delivered and ultimately tests the products in a variety of conventional ways (perhaps by installing some shelves) before he turns his attention upon his terrified victims.

your comment on buses is so true, perhaps they should make a film about an impatient man who kills other bus passengers out of frustration, it could be like "The Tram" but with lots of gore and no plot.

I liked the concept to "The Firework Killer" mostly because it happened to me last night, not that I actually killed the damn buggers but I wasn't exactly in a good mood with them, "The Screwfix Killer" is also a good idea, done right it could be the perfect balance of extreme gore and humour, now what are you waiting for get the script's written and put things into pre-production, you've already got one fan pacing the floor for the release date!

i would make a horror comedy based on the Belgian log chopping maniac.
If you have not heard of this lunatic before, he has been at work at various places around a city in Belgium and dismembers his victims using a log chopping machine. When he has got body parts from different victims chopped into bits about a foot long he mixes them up and leaves the bits in plastic bags around the city in streets with sinister sounding names.

This would obvoiusly lead to comedic scenes in the forensic science lab where the police scientists are engaged i a gruesome jigsaw puzzle.
My main scene would involve the hash the police scientists make of reassembling the bits i.e the piecing together of one 8 foot long body while on an adjoining table a midget has been assembled.

i will need help "fleshing" out the rest of my idea.

JONESY sounds like you're on to something, I never even knew there was a Belgian killer doing such things, was he ever caught or is he still at large?

Another idea worth making a film out of, perhaps we should start a cheapie prodution company, amazon independents or something like that, anyway I thought of a great little tagline (if by thought I mean lifted from "Intruder")... He's gonna chop until they drop.... dead!

Nice one A. Walker,
I'd thought of "Dead Wood", . The poster could be a testicle dripping in blood with the tagline "Woodchopper's Ball".

i never heard that this guy was ever caught by the way.

Yeah he was apparently. He's been called The Butcher Of Mons and is on trial in the States as he did the same stuff around Europe and over there for a bit according to some internet sources.
A.Walker I like your idea of us lot forming our own cheapie exploitation company. It's gotta be doable - maybe we should start with a portmanteau co-production of all the ideas on this thread?

Actually I've been thinking of making independent films for years and have half a dozen good scripts (well I think they'd be good) stored in my head, sadly with my social skills it'd be almost impossible to get a film off the ground.

By the way Doc glad you enjoyed yourself tonight and it turns out we both saw some J&B tonight, the bottle I saw was onscreen in "Puzzle" with the label in clear sight.

I like your poster idea JONESY, on the topic did you ever see "Woodchipper Massacre" or its trailer, it uses the great slogan "how much flesh could a woodchipper chip if a woodchipper could chip flesh" sadly not much flesh is actually chipped and it plays out more like The Brady Bunch with an accidental murder thrown in, amusing in places and actually kinda funny but nothing special.

Hey Doc,if you want some firework up the bum murder action,check out the British sexploiter "Twisted Sisters".

Excellent ideas so far everyone.

KILLER PLANK

The film is about a person who goes around and kills ppl by ramming a plank down their throat

THE TORTURE

A Man named James Wayland (played by Van Damme) finds that a killer has murdered his wife (played by Jennifer Connily) and goes off to find the killer by going through and kicking all these ppls asses (as usual) then by the end of the film he finds the man he's been searching for, then rather then kill him outright he drags the killer back to his basement, ties him up then forces him to watch THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and Listen to BRITNEY SPEARS and JONAS BROTHERS to kill him slowly

Quite amusing stuart but I think you went too far with "The Torture", I can tolerate murder, rape, sexual abuse, castration, child murder, nazi death camp sleaze and cannibalism but some boundaries are just never meant to be pushed, I think torturing someone with The Jonas Brothers is just too sadistic even if its only a film.

By the way I just thought up one

Night of the living dead the re-re-remake

A bunch of sell-outs go to star in the newest update of the Romero classic (since it hasn't been done in almost three whole years) only to have the set assulted by real zombies, the world falls into chaos as the undead horror fans wreak vengeance on those who've ruined the genre and only the death of the ultimate sell -out will appease them, legend states its someone who robs plots and turns the masses into zombies with his bland crap but could the words "rob" and "zombie" actually have something to do with his identity, as the a-holes turned hero's realise their mistake and approach the trailerpark for the ultimate showdown we are left wondering does killing one jerk really end it all?

Hate to tell you this AW,but there is a second(!)3D remake of NOTLD on it's way.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! This is just the sort of nonsense I've been predicting, now the damn studio's are so lazy and greedy they won't even wait the decade or so before doing another remake, soon there'll be a version of that film out every year and all because copyright isn't an issue. I saw the trailer to the 2007 version and it had me feeling it would be really bad but its when the character of Barbara gets the "coming to get you" text message I went ballistic, I mean seriously... what the f**k were they thinking!

A paedophile is going around murdering children.
A vigilante group forms and terrorises the neighborhood torturing and killing various paediatricians and podiatrists. This means that there are no people left to deal with childrens illnesses and children start dying of terrible diseases.
The paedophile rears his ugly head again and is cornered by a detective. However the paedophile gets away because the detective cannot chase him. This is because the detective's feet are giving him too much jip (His podiatrist was one of the first to be slaughtered in error).

I now want to watch this more than anything!!!!!!!!