Customer Review

32 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Behold- a miracle!, 23 Oct. 2009
This review is from: Grow Your Own Jesus (Toy)
Having always regarded myself as something of a skeptic, receiving a small kit containing a dessicated scaled-down model of Christ made for a characteristically bewildering Birthday gift from my son Horace. Frankly, I wasn't exactly expecting any particular revelations, although I did find myself being pleasantly surprised by the results. Lo! The events that followed were quite literally miraculous- and I refer not merely to the levels of physical growth that ensued after the dehydrated Saviour was laid upon a saucer of blessed water. 600% expansion may sound relatively impressive, but it really does pale quite miserably in comparison to the soaringly exponential rate at which our Lord's boundless love began not only to grow within the chambers of my heart, but also to nourish the sanctums of my very soul. If the formerly diminutive Redeemer's aquatically-fuelled distention was impressive, my own transcendental unfurling was to be far greater still- upon saturating my own morally-parched body and spirit in dualistically literal and metaphorical (with regard to this somewhat laborious comparison) water, during a ceremony of holy baptism.

Somebody ought to hand one of these to that sneering gimp Dawkins! I think it's safe to say that we could expect to see a pretty rapid end to all those incessantly heretical texts and all that 'evolution' mullarkey! I don't think think we'll see so-called 'science' coming up with a rational explanation of how a miniaturised Messiah can be seen to grow to full size within a mere seventy-two hour period! Frankly, anyone who has not witnessed such an uncanny display with their own two eyes (as granted to them by our Father, in his infinite wisdom) has not yet earned the right to lay a claim towards possession of an informed opinion on theological issues.

Now, please bow your heads and prepare to join me in prayer:

Our Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done,
in earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.

Amen.
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Showing 1-1 of 1 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 24 Nov 2014 23:00:55 GMT
J. Neighbour says:
Praise be! And laughter was heard throughout the land. Ha ha!
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