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Customer Review

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars For someone in sales, there's much of interest here, 22 Feb. 2012
This review is from: Body Language: It's What You Don't Say That Matters (Paperback)
Non-verbal communication is something I have to say (sorry) I've not spent much time thinking about, but after this book, I've become a little obsessed by it. This book is certainly no frills - there are few photos or illustrations and precious little humour, but it's easy to read, makes its points in a simple and direct manner, and contains lots of helpful hints.

(If you want to know about Phipps' qualifications, they are more along the lines of school of selling, though he tells the story entertainingly and persuasively at the end of the book. The publicity blurb says that he has worked with corporate clients such as Lloyds TSB, HSBC, Citigroup, Slaughter & May and most strangely the Syrian Business Council.)

The information in the book is presented in a way that makes it all very easy to understand, not least in the YODA acronym, which stands for You: you have to be fully engaged; Observe: just notice things you didn't before; Decode: work out what it means and Adapt: change your behaviour to get better results.

It's that last part that's most important, of course, because although we probably spend a lot of time before an important meeting rehearsing our arguments or practising our presentation and finessing the Powerpoint, quite frequently the impression we give is down to things we think we have no control over and probably give no time to altering such as the way we stand, sit, what we do with our face when someone asks us a question or the way we react while someone else is speaking.

We've all heard of mirroring the person you are speaking to. It sounds sinister, but is actually a natural thing to do when you are relaxed and getting on with someone, but as Phipps points out, the moment you are under stress or being challenged, the mirroring goes out of the window and you tend to sit up straight, your heartbeat increases, you move into the "fight or flight" stress response, and after that, though you might win the argument, you have probably lost the war.

"A quick example is the hand and wrist. When relaxed and fluid the hand rolls loosely at the pivot point of the wrist. This stops the moment someone starts to get more serious about something. At this point their hand, wrist and forearm begin to move as one, pushing forward with jabbing [or] sweeping gestures.... If you observe this, you are in a position to decode it and make sense of it."

If this doesn't sound important enough for you to buy the book, you'll also find the answers to the two questions Phipps is apparently asked when training people or giving speeches.

"How do you know when someone is physically attracted to you?" and "How do you know when someone is lying to you?"

Along the way you get a quick crash course in NLP, how to make a good first impression, how to shake hands, make eye contact and lots of case studies, tips on interviews and exercises should you wish to take things further. I'd say for someone in sales, there's much of interest here, and for the rest of us, lots that perhaps we'd rather not think about, but perhaps should.
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Showing 1-1 of 1 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 24 Feb 2012 11:07:06 GMT
R. Phipps says:
Wow, a long "Review" thanks, glad you enjoyed the read.

Best regards,
Robert
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Trotley
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Location: Bedford

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