Absolute cinematic torture,
This review is from: UFO: Target Earth [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC] (DVD)
UFO: Target Earth. Sounds exciting, doesn't it? An alien invasion, man's desperate attempt to defend his home from a more advanced and deadly enemy, lots of explosions and heroics, etc. That would be an exciting story - unfortunately, you will find nothing resembling that in this wretched little movie. UFO: Target Earth's only claim to fame is its ridiculously lengthy shot of a boom mic clearly exposed on screen. Honestly, it has to hold the world record for this particular cinematic faux pas - and that's just one of a myriad of problems with this film. The pitiful excuse of a plot doesn't make much sense, scenes and characters are introduced in such a way that we're apparently supposed to just magically know who and what they are, and the main character's big moments consist of staring off into space as if he's in some kind of hypnotic trance (either that, or he had just seen the dailies from the previous day's filming of this turkey).
So, anyway, this weird teacher dude specializing in communications decides to study some UFO sightings in the area - especially after picking up his phone and hearing a couple of military guys talking about that very subject. This is just one of several plot elements that make no sense. It is established later on that all such military communications are scrambled, and even if they weren't, it's not like the local college shares a party line with the military base. Anyway, our young Alan Grimes (Nick Plakias) plows ahead, assisted by a young woman who can "feel" the approach of UFOs (Cynthia Cline) and a Dr. Mansfield (LaVerne Light). Don't ask me exactly who Dr. Mansfield is or where she works because the film doesn't bother to divulge these facts. As for Alan, he sets up some kind of sensors around a lake that may or may not hold an alien craft beneath its murky waters, some electronic nonsense takes place, and eventually something "profound" happens, accompanied by lots of electronic spin art. I could tell you how it all ends, but it's so stupid that you probably wouldn't believe me.
This film's title is mere cinematic chicanery. Needless to say, there is nothing even remotely like an alien invasion to be found here; heck, the only UFOs you'll see are the ones in the pictures accompanying the opening credits. UFO: Target Earth is basically a torture test. To even get to the headache-inducing electronic spin art at the end, you have to endure well over an hour of complete gibberish punctuated by strands of inanely irritating music (often simultaneously, with the music drowning out the dialogue). The whole thing makes very little sense and features some of the most lifeless acting and poorly written dialogue you've ever been forced to put up with. I can't think of a single positive thing to say about this pathetic waste of film.