Customer Review

7 of 12 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Poorly put together... much like Frankenstein's Monster..., 24 May 2005
This review is from: Van Helsing (Two Disc Collector's Edition) [DVD] [2004] (DVD)
Five minutes into this film I was already squirming in my seat. I've never walked out of a movie before, I think it's foolish to judge a film unless you have seen it in its entirety. Van Helsing almost had me running for the door. Many people have pointed out that this was only intended as a summer blockbuster, a no brainer with big SFX, lots of one liners and plenty of merchandising possibilities. That's no excuse for this terrible film.
The Mummy had the same pitch as this movie, including the use of an old Universal monster. However, The Mummy managed something that Van Helsing utterly failed to achieve. See, The Mummy was good. The Mummy was fun. The Mummy was a well put together movie, its characters were pretty much one dimensional but everybody liked them. It had none of Van Helsing's frankly sloppy plot devices. A couple of cases in point:
Case 1: Hunting Werewolf
"Ooo, we're all going on a werewolf hunt"
"Right lets plan this all real careful, like. We got the cage... we got the bait... we got our rifles. Anything else?"
"Silver bullets?"
"Good idea. But I tell you what, lets not put silver bullets in all of our rifles, lets just put them in one measly little revolver so that Beckinsale can almost get crushed by the falling cage as she runs to grab it."
Case 2: Reinventing Dracula
Dracula's Romanian, right? The Gypsies come from Romania. Lets be really clever and give the count Gypsy earrings and a pony tail! Wow that'll be really authentic and won't make him look like a fool in any way shape or form!
These are just two criticisms out of the many that I could level at this film but frankly i don't want to spend any more time discussing it! Please save your money, don't buy this DVD and don't give them an excuse to make a sequel. It would be a terrible terrible thing to inflict on the world.
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3.6 out of 5 stars (203 customer reviews)
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