28 of 31 people found the following review helpful
good read - and great to go back to,
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This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Paperback)
I came to this book and others like it due to 3 circumstances in my life
Firstly - my ex-brother in law could have had half this book just written especially for him, a genuine case study if ever there was one.
Secondly - I used to work in an office which had a colleague blessed with the most incredible arrogance. What confused me was the histrionics that came with it.
I left and am now working in an office with 2 doubtful characters, another one with mind blowing arrogance, and another one who enjoys his office politics.
Thirdly - I had some suspicions about a potential partner prior to getting engaged. There was always a story about why something had happened to explain the large chunks left out of her life. This with comments of "that's something for another day" made me wonder as to what on earth the girl had been up to.... Within days of the engagement, there was a definite shift in her behaviour patterns, and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. I thought "if this is what its like after a few weeks, what's it going to be like after a few years?" So that was the end of that.
I was so annoyed at myself that I didn't trust my own warning signs so early in the relationship; I decided to get reading to see what it was that I had done wrong. This spelt it out clearly in many chapters.
As a man - the chapter on histrionics should be read by every man on the planet, a definite eye opener. Unfortunately the rest of the book describes far more men I have come into contact with than women!
Who should read the book? Well anyone who feels that someone you love/know/work with is operating on a different (read immoral) agenda than yourself.
What positives did I get out of it?
A reassurance that my gut instinct about the people mentioned above was probably correct.
Knowledge that an attempt to correct their behaviour is futile. This is the way they are, they lie to themselves first, convince themselves of that lie, so lying to you is easy.
What negatives did I get out of it?
The self test chapters are a bit uncomfortable at times, especially when your score is a touch higher than it should be. We all have our dark side though, if you can acknowledge that, then reading the book shouldn't create too many worries.
The worst part of reading the book was the realisation that one chapter could have been written about my mother.
What do you do? -
Just what Baz says - Run like hell in the opposite direction? And keep on running.
Keep everything what you learn about others from reading this book to yourself- labelling people with a personality disorder is very serious indeed.
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Initial post: 7 Aug 2009 17:15:26 BDT
Woh my ex said that to me as well about chunks of his life! There were certain things about his past he would never tell me about in detail and when I asked him what happened he would say "That's something for another day" That other day never came, we were together for two years.
My God what a narrow escape I had, I need to buy this book haha!!
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