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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Few Too Many Mistakes But a Good Story, 11 Nov 2013
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This review is from: Shattered (Donna Harp Book 1) (Donna Harp Series) (Kindle Edition)
I quite liked this story and would definitely give the sequel a go if there's one done. There were a few too many mistakes in it for my liking, though. And it's touted as the Donna Harp series but it didn't especially concentrate on her nor tell us very much about her at all. She was featured no more or less than others in the story including her most unpleasant superior Sergeant Underwood.
There were odd missing words in sentences like lot or a and then odd words like to repeated twice in one sentence for no reason.
There were also apostrophe errors and most annoyingly (which made for tricky reading at times) was the author's habit of throwing in speechmarks at the start of every paragraph when someone is speaking even when it's a continuation of one person's words. I found that irritating beyond belief. He also capitalises odd words like Detective which don't need to be and not others like Snickers or Dairy Milk. Michael suddenly turned into Michal on one page as well.
Another great annoyance for me were all the Americanisms. Things like ass and not arse and summarize not summarise and tires not tyres.
He could have used a few extra commas, too. As you can see, quite careless and things a good proofreading exercise might've picked up. It finishes rather abruptly at 93% in and the remainder are adverts for the author's other books. I don't like this but that's just me.
As I said earlier, I will give a sequel a go if there is one but no more if it turns out to be quite as sloppy as this one editing-wise.
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Showing 1-3 of 3 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 14 Nov 2013 14:59:45 GMT
Indy Fan says:
Thank you for the review. I'm sorry for the mistakes you encountered, I have been made aware of them previously and I have been working on a re-edit to fix those problems; I will take on board the mistakes you have mentioned and ensure they are fixed as well.
The speechmarks at the beginning of a paragraph when dialogue continues is something I researched and as far as I have been able to determine, it is the correct way to deal with dialogue that continues on another paragraph.

There is a sequel, The Reckoning, which picks up immediately following the end of Shattered. Currently the book is serialised in 5 parts but once I have finished fixing the errors in Shattered i will be compiling it into a single release, which I hope to have out in the next few months.

Once again, thank you for the review and I apologize for the errors.

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Nov 2013 15:51:46 GMT
Lynda Kelly says:
Thankyou for your reply. That was decent of you considering my review was so critical. I seemed to remember that speechmarks can be used in that fashion but it was a long time ago and it because it made for such tricky reading I thought I maybe imagined it ! It does seem a peculiar rule. A lot of the other odd mistakes often crop up in e-books as well especially the missing words. I often think something gets lost in the formatting of them. If so, then Amazon need a kick up the backside and to sort it out. ARE you American ? I notice you spelt in the American way in your reply also.
Thanks too for the information on the sequel. I'll keep an eye out.
Lynda~

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Nov 2013 16:06:54 GMT
Indy Fan says:
You're welcome, I'm happy to reply, I'm grateful for any honestly critical reviews I get. I'd rather receive an honest 3* that tells me what is wrong so I can at least try and fix it than a 1* or 5* that says little.
I regret to say I am British, which makes some of my mistakes all the more egregious. Unfortunately I've spent so much time reading American books and watching American shows that a lot of Americanisations have crept into the way I speak and write and I don't even realise. I really must try harder to get it right, especially since my books are predominantly set in England.
Right now I'm coming to the tail end of a rewrite of Shattered, then it's on to editing, when I hope to ensure that I haven't introduced new errors - fingers crossed. I shall be going through it several times with a fine toothed comb and shall add fixing Americanisations to the list of things to check for.
Believe me, I am really grateful for you pointing things out to me. I was truly embarrassed when I first heard about the mistakes I let slip through and hung my head in shame.

Karl
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Location: Shipton Bellinger, UK

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