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Customer Review

9 of 17 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Oh dear..., 10 Jun. 2014
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This review is from: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug [DVD] [2013] (DVD)
I guess I loved the LotR movies because I hadn't read the books. At the time I got annoyed by this small group of purists who kept condemmning it. Little did I know - or so it appears - what Iwas talking about.
I did read The Hobbit in my early teens though during a winter holiday in the middle of a snowy nowhere and adored it, every single page of it. Its dry humour, (then felt) the grand, slow narration to the benefit of imaginative settings and characters, how the story unfolded, particularly the (also then felt) terror caused by the goblins. I have read it a few times since and it has lost nothing of its touch. Therefore, I was very keen to watch the movie.
And just how bad it was… Nothing of Tolkien's language, dialogue or drama. Instead: never(!!)ending CGI toss accompanied by stupid attempts at humour by resuscitating Charlie Chaplin to play Bilbo featuring dialogue which is as predictable as the jokes. And they are not funny. (Bilbo really did look at the camera befor falling down unconscious in An Unexpected Journey, didn’t he?)
And who, I wonder, suggested reissueing the book with a picture from the film when there are beautifully rendered previous editons? Who? I obviously don’t know, but everybody knows the answer to Why?. Having seen Pan's Labyrinth is the very reason one shouldn't begin to wonder what might have been.
What's left of the story for part 3 is the village scene and the battle. For this the world can rely on PJ to deliver the biggest CGI orgy ever to have graced the silver screen. By the time this happens I will make sure to have given the first two parts away pretending it all never happened.
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