5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Honest & impressive,
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This review is from: No Matter What: An Adoptive Family's Story of Hope, Love and Healing (Paperback)
In this memoir, Sally Donovan shares her family with us. Having explained why she and her husband chose to become adopters, she relates in detail how that decision changed their lives: a young, traumatised brother and sister became their son and daughter, bringing both joy and ongoing challenges to the couple.
This book doesn't gloss over the recurring trauma that children who've been neglected and abused bring with them; nor does it skirt around the fact that post-adoption support is often lacking and that the schools system can be ignorant and dismissive of adopted children's needs. Sally and Rob's feelings of exhaustion and sometimes loneliness are laid bare.
Ultimately, though, No Matter What is about love, and the dedication of a resourceful mother in fighting for her children and learning how to redress the damage of their early experiences. Donovan argues persuasively that children who've been starved of care as babies can't just be expected to slot into normal family life. A more radical, elemental form of parenting is needed.
Donovan writes well, concisely, honestly and often with humour. As the (albeit non-adoptive) parent of a child with special needs, I found her descriptions of feeling adrift from the 'normal' mums in her community particularly resonant.
I would recommend this book to anyone keen to gain an insight into adoption or just to enjoy Donovan's eloquent writing.