68 of 71 people found the following review helpful
How to be in touch with human beings - not least yourself,
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Way of Being (Paperback)
This was the first book by Rogers that I read. I read it earlier this year, whilst doing my Certificate course in counselling. As someone who was just beginning her long journey into the counselling world, I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it - it helped to redefine to me the reasons why I was drawn to the profession in the first place. I think what I'm trying to say here is that I found this book at the right time in my life.
As I was reading, I was not just appraising it from the hopeful counsllor in me, but at the time I was experiencing a painful relationship. In this relationship, I felt as though I was never properly listened to - if ever I expressed feeling hurt to my partner, my emotions were used by him as a way of attacking me, thus making me feel even more unloved and unappreciated, but bound to stay so as not to be alone. Reading this book, I began to see how abusive this relationship actually was.
I actually think I appreciated this book more on my personal level than on the academic level which brought me to it originally.
This book does not really offer advice for new counsellors on how to work with their clients. The only advice it gives about that is that the therapeutic relationship should involve empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard - if these core conditions are present, then the person seeking help is being offered the best environment for change to occur. However, although this work does not necessarily offer a counselling model to work by, what Rogers does illustrate is that people need to be 'allowed' to have feelings in order for them to properly function. If someone feels as though they need to hide or suppress their emotions, so as not to anger or hurt someone else, they are not allowing themselves to be the person they truly are. While clients seeking counselling most likely will have experienced something like this, all counsellors are only human too - before looking at their clients and asking how they cn help them, perhaps counsellors should read this and then ask themselves how they may help themselves!
I salute Rogers for writing so honestly, not just about his experiences as a therapist, but as a person too. This book has shown that we would all do well to try and bring his core conditions into our lives as a whole, not just to the counselling room.