I Hadn't Realised How Much I Needed This Book!,
This review is from: You Can Heal Your Heart: Finding Peace After a Breakup, Divorce or Death (Paperback)
Customer review from the Amazon Vine Programme (What's this?)
I wasn't sure if I really needed this book, as I haven't had any losses in a while,but I love Louise Hay,so I thought I'd give it a go.What a revelation! As a child I was never allowed to cry,or even to look sad;only my mother was allowed to do that.When my father died no-one was allowed to grieve,or mourn the loss of a good man,as my mother hated him.
When I started reading this I was so struck by the bit about disenfranchised grief;that is grief you don't believe you have a right to feel. This applies to me ,but also to people in LGBT situations whose families may not know, or people who have lost pets,or been through abortion or miscarriage. The book points out,"You can't change other people's thinking,but you can change your own."
I might sound silly to say that I am happier now I have learned to grieve,but I find I am now identifying former losses and feeling the appropriate feelings,rather than trying to put on a smile and pretend that everything is all right. I am letting go of things that have bothered me for years,because I can understand that I did lose something,and it's OK to be sad and angry about that.
This book was incredibly helpful to me,and it will be to anyone who has been through any kind of loss. It deals with bereavement,divorce, terminal illness,losing a job,infertility,menopause and the loss of all those things you were going to accomplish and never did. Once you learn to recognise and honour your grief and pain,even if others don't ,that's when you can start to move on.