3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
You Gotta Put the Work In !,
This review is from: Assertiveness: How to be Strong in Every Situation (Paperback)
Customer review from the Amazon Vine Programme (What's this?)
I think the key to this book is probably the need for it to be read properly. i.e. start at the beginning and work your way through slowly and not skip bits. As I tend to do.
I have a tendency to skim through any non-fiction book looking for passages that catch my eye. I can't do that with this book. I had to go through it systematically.
There is plenty of good solid advice here. As other reviewers have said, nothing startling new, but plenty of help.
You need to be prepared to look at how you think about things, the beliefs that you hold, and more importantly, the way you talk to yourself.
To be assertive you want to aim for a win/win outcome. So you also have to be thinking about the other person in the negotiation.
At first I had the impression the book was mostly aimed at work related situations, but that doesn't mean that the help isn't relevant in other areas.
There are chapters regarding neighbours and friends, but I am not sure how realistic being assertive would work with teenagers or others that remain intransigent. I think this book can help me to end up in a position where I will feel better even if I can't "win". I will have at least given a tricky situation my best shot as the book contains plenty of script type examples to get you started.
One of the recommendations near the beginning of the book is something I have worked out for myself, which is to write out notes for a phone conversation so you can concentrate on your tone of voice and listening rather than trying to remember what it is you want to say. Of course this involves having preparation time.
This is a book I am going to keeping reading until aspects of it become second nature to me. At first it feels awkward or false trying to say the "right things" , but after a while it begins to make so much sense and I feel more relaxed with certain people already !
Definitely recommended, as long as you will put in the work. The book won't do it for you. :-)