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Customer Review

42 of 45 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars When will i ever learn ?, 29 Aug. 2012
This review is from: Rhineland 1945 DVD (DVD)
Another low budget load of junk.How many times could i say that,this year? There is an actor called Muck and one called Heffernan in this film,but it is no Band of Brothers.The second film in a row that is so bleached it is virtually black and white,although the colour fades in and out quite a lot for no discernable reason.Despite the Germanic title,this is an American film,with not very good actors,who you've never heard of,going through the motions.The effects are poor,the budget appears to have been miniscule and the unconvincing action scenes are filmed in the same couple of locations,just shot from different angles,in a laughable attempt to fool the viewer.(It has basically been shot in a couple of fields and barely a copse of trees).There are also quite a few worm's eye view shots,from the protagonists viewpoints in a very unsubtle effort to hide this fact.Most of the action scenes are shot with a handycam in a VAIN effort to recreate the realism of film/t.v of say Black Hawk Down,Pacific etc,but this fails miserably due to the poor effects.It looks more like a bunch of overage,semi-retired media executives on a weekend's jolly,paint-balling.In quite a few shots, the actors barely flinch while incoming mortar/artillery rounds land just feet away from them.(This is because they are obviously smokepots and they look like smokepots,with all the explosive power and shrapnel of a couple of bangers,casually tossed in their general direction.)The grenade throwing scenes are positively LAME,half-hearted efforts.(I think most of the actors had given up by this stage in the film.At this point, I was expecting some of the Yank soldiers to start bowling grenades underarm,but thankfully they don't).None of the blood/wounds look remotely real.The scene where the Yank soldiers try to save one of their dying comrades is so bad,it will have you laughing out loud.The main character in this film,a sergeant(NO Tom Berenger),uses the infamous "Grease Gun",the most inaccurate weapon in the entire second world war.(I don't think he'd have survived till 1945,using this instrument of "Spray and Pray",and if he had,surely someone in ordinance would have given him a better weapon,five years into the campaign.)The Sherman tank(Singular), looks like it's been to the "CHOP SHOP",(It looks more like a baby Sherman tank with bits lopped off it.)Although the jerry half-track(Singular),looks better,(Not so sure about the gun it's towing,which appears to be american.)By now I'd long past caring what happened to any of them,but was still wondering where the Messerschidmt on the cover had gotten to.Well it eventually turns up near the end,or should i say that you hear an aircraft,(Singular,circle and make a couple of passes overhead.You NEVER actually see the aircraft.It Never drops any ordinance or makes strafing runs,so what's it doing? You can tell by the sound of the engine,that it's obviously not a Messerschidmt 109.I believe the director captured the noise of passing civilian aircraft on some scenes he didn't want to cut,and tried to get around it by covering it up with the BLATANT FALSE ADVERTISING on the D.v.d cover).

One thing I forgot to mention with regard to the so called realistic uniforms. One of the German soldiers is wearing a camouflage helmet cover,that appears to be made from DEL BOY TROTTER's old,discarded,Faux-Leopardskin swimming trunks.

This film is definately NOT epic.Film Threat you need a new film reviewer.

Astonishingly this d.v.d. has two audio commentaries and the Director seems to think he has created a masterpiece.I listened to the first seven minutes and turned it off, in disgust.Everything he claims to have achieved with this film is clearly a joke,which he's having on us.ROBBED,I want my money back.
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Showing 1-5 of 5 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 2 Dec 2012 12:58:46 GMT
That review was very funny, you should make your own "spoof" WW2 film!

In reply to an earlier post on 1 Jan 2013 08:15:40 GMT
Last edited by the author on 3 Jan 2013 09:31:10 GMT
Please don't encourage him. He has enough plasticine, Airfix Diaroma (as well as many other brand) books, videos (VHS and 8 mm) to fill several attics. His obnoxous bent is THE ONLY REASON he is still not on the staff of Wallace and Vomit.

In reply to an earlier post on 1 Jan 2013 17:42:03 GMT
[Deleted by Amazon on 1 Jan 2013 17:49:16 GMT]

Posted on 16 Mar 2013 19:43:24 GMT
ANC - you are so much of a purist that it detracts from your enjoyment of life.

Posted on 16 Nov 2013 07:01:30 GMT
AJB says:
Some helpful pointers which have put me off buying this DVD but one thing to note, you can throw grenades underarm for greater accuracy. One of the techniques I taught in the army and working abroad.
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