1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Whoops I did it again!,
This review is from: The Caretaker [DVD] (DVD)
Another 8 quid that I'll never see again handed over to Tescos.
Saw this on display and thought, "8 quid, must be good as it's not 3 quid or even 2 quid but 8 quid. And it's got good reviews on the cover".
Wife says, "You sure, remember that crappy Prince of Jutland film that you bought and thought it would be good?"
"But look, 4 and 5 stars on the cover, and it's 8 quid".
So off to the till, onto the shelf and tonight arrives.
"Cup of tea and a film Babe?" Wife goes off to make the tea and I make the mistake of unwrapping the film...........no chance of a refund now.
No trailers or adverts = Bonus!
Film starts.........so does the plank on the piano who bangs on through the opening credits for nearly 5 minutes, plonk, plonk, f***ing plonk!
Could have fast forwarded but there was what could have been some essential dialogue going on in the background.
AWWHH CRAP this ain't good it's Australian and low budget. A true win double.
First 5 minutes drags by but it seems like an hour. Some div driving an old banger trying not to get sunburnt.
Wife - "Do you think he's the vampire?"
"'Kin hope so - I think I've blown 8 quid here, we'll give it a go".
Scene with a bar type place where there's a bunch of saddos harping on about divorce and stuff and some old bint in bed who is also a vampire, or so it seems.
Right about now we, as a couple, usually choose who we would like to see killed off first. In this case it's everyone including the plank on the ivories.
Skip a couple of chapters and it's still utterly and relentlessly crap.
Soon to be on ebay and hopefully sold unless the bidder sees these reviews first. Let's face it though, I won't see the 8 quid again.