367 of 381 people found the following review helpful
Lovely in theory but doesn't have a solution for every baby,
This review is from: The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night (Paperback)
As a parent I've always been firmly in the Sears camp rather than the Gina camp, and this book seems to be considered as a sacred text by practically everyone I know with similar parenting styles. My 9 month old has been a poor sleeper from the start and so naturally I got hold of a copy. I do love the style of the book and it is indeed initially very reassuring. Unfortunately, it does seem very much geared to fixing specific sleep problems that relate to babies that are unable to fall asleep by themselves and hence need to be nursed or rocked again every time they wake. Unfortunately this doesn't apply to my baby, who wakes frequently despite being perfectly able to put himself to sleep quickly and easily initially. It also doesn't cover 'tension releasing' crying vs 'tension increasing' crying. After much agony I have discovered that my baby actually NEEDS to have a short cry in order to fall asleep. Now I understand that he actually needs to be put down awake to cry, he will be asleep in a few minutes, whereas previously with all of my 'loving' nursing, rocking and singing he would still be sobbing in exhaustion and hour later. If I'm honest I think I might have found this out sooner if I hadn't been brainwashed by all the attachment parenting books that letting your child cry practically was akin to abuse.
So, if you have a baby with the 'right' kind of problem, this might be the book for you. But as always, you need to remember that no one has written a book about YOUR baby yet.
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Showing 1-10 of 12 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 17 Jan 2010 21:52:46 GMT
I'm so glad someone else found this book less than helpful for their baby! Still haven't found the sleep solution, but at least the book proved that I'm doing all the right things.
Posted on 4 Jan 2011 09:38:59 GMT
Last edited by the author on 4 Jan 2011 09:40:10 GMT
Thanks Muffinmummy for your honest appraisal of your own situation and the book. I too have a 9 month old and am trying to work out which method to follow. Dr Sears does make you feel incompetent and abusive as a parent to let your child cry itself to sleep. Unfortunately it's seeming the only way my boy will sleep 10 hours straight without waking and requesting more nursing.
Posted on 11 May 2011 15:23:58 BDT
mummy T says:
This sounds same as my baby who is 12 weeks old, thanks for the comment, has saved me a few pennies!
Posted on 16 Nov 2011 07:59:35 GMT
L. E. Chapman says:
I have just bought this book but it hasn't arrived yet. My problems seem to be very similar to Muffin's mummy's (except my boy is just 4months old) in that he'll go down alright on his own but wakes every 1-2 hours only settling when fed (despite that he is never fed to sleep during the day or at bedtime). If this book seems not to hold the answer to this sort of difficulty, do any of you have any other suggestions / recommendations? I need sleep and so does my baby!
In reply to an earlier post on 10 Jan 2012 22:07:30 GMT
George Davidson says:
Dear LEChapman, at four months I don't think you can expect your baby to sleep through. Waking up every few hours to feed and refill their tiny tummies is what your baby needs. Even though it is exhausting, try to see it as a lovely thing to do.
In reply to an earlier post on 16 Jan 2012 15:22:09 GMT
S.F Sydney says:
George, allowing a baby to wake every hour is not just negligent (baby's grow and develop whilst asleep), its suicidal. Excuse me if I don't consider chronic sleep deprivation for the entire family 'a lovely thing'. I don't expect an infant to sleep through at 4 months, but I do expect them to make it through a sleep cycle, for their own health. I'm so tired of this impractical, thoughtless, deliberately emotive attachment parenting poppycock. Just because the Doublespeak drones call it 'gentle' doesn't mean it is.
In reply to an earlier post on 18 Apr 2012 19:12:25 BDT
I think there has been a gross misunderstanding here. Personally I've never thought attachment parenting meant NEVER let your baby cry. I've yet to read Dr Sears advice, but other attachment experts do say that SOMETIMES, SOME babies just cry to express their emotions and there is nothing wrong with it. You should not always feel guilty if your baby cries. The important thing here is maintaining empathy and trust with your baby.
In reply to an earlier post on 5 Jun 2012 21:05:31 BDT
purple player says:
at 4 months he NEEDS food that often as his stomach is so small! to deny is awful, the richest milk is made at night and so he is getting it then, I strongly suggest you do some reading before not allowing your son to have food when he clearly needs it at his very young age.
Posted on 20 Jul 2012 15:15:41 BDT
Thank you to Muffin's M review. If someone finds an answer or a good book about babies having problem staying asleep, could you please share it here? My baby is nearly 4 months and he keeps waking up every hour. The result is that he is grumpy during the day and feeds worse than if he happens to have a better sleep at night. I am soon to return back to work and am really worried about how I would cope and how the childminder will care for a fussy baby. He falls asleep usually after a brief cry or a few brief cries, but is guaranteed to wake up in an hour at night or 30 mins during the day.
In reply to an earlier post on 6 Dec 2012 19:27:41 GMT
S.F Sydney, you're right, babies do need sleep to grow and develop and it's very tiring for everyone when they don't!
I think George was trying to say that at 4 months, babies will sleep when they like and adults have no control over it.
When my daughter was very young she had a 48 hour feeding frenzy, once a month, every month until she went on to solids at 6 months. Neither of us got any sleep for the entire time, but there was nothing either of us could have done about it - that's just how babies are at that age. It was exhausting but at the same time I knew I was doing the best for her.
I know this is slightly off-topic!
I would like to add that I bought this book when my daughter was 12 months old and I was struggling to break the nursing to sleep cycle. I found a lot of the book reassuring and did use some of the techniques. None of them are quick fixes and it can take time.