3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Harry Potter can kiss my...,
This review is from: The Covenant [DVD]  (DVD)
Just consider it a male version of "The Craft" -- "The Covenant" is basically a flimsy witchcraft story dressed up with lots of male eye candy. The candy is nice for the eyes, but it would have been nice to have a little meat for the brain as well.
Ipswich has four (used to be five) witch families, and the eldest son inherits a dangerous bunch of magic in his early teens, before coming into his full power at eighteen (do I smell another magic/sexual maturity analogy here?). They mainly use these powers as... well, the way you'd expect any teen boys to. But then the body of a student is found in a car, and the sons of Ipswich are suspected.
And Caleb Danvers (Steven Strait) starts to figure out that something weird is happening -- ghosts, magical peeping-toms, and a mysterious student who just transferred there. Not only must Caleb stop the magical attacks -- but keep his own burgeoning powers under control too, as he confronts the secret enemy.
"The Covenant" is pure fluff from start to finish, and at times it feels like it isn't aspiring to be much more -- the plot is quite basic and rather suspenseless, since the bad guy practically has a "REALLY SINISTER AND CREEPY" sign around his neck -- and a five-year-old could guess who he is just by the backstory.
In a way, it feels bad to kick such an unpretentiously popcorn movie, but it could have been way better -- instead, it's loaded with with cliches galore. There are a few cool scenes, such as a car flying apart and reconstructing -- quite nice, visually speaking.
But the rest of the time, it's just predictable and rather cheesy -- dialogue is extremely teen-movie ("You ready to say "uncle"?" "I'm ready for you to go to hell!"), and the climax is like a magic-powerball-throwing fight from a bad children's anime.
The actors are there basically for the looks, and they form a pretty typical circle -- good boy, shy boy, bad boy, and mischief-maker. Not great acting, but most of them won't make you openly cringe. And of course, they toss in some teen-movie starlets, who don't really register, as the token girlfriends.
"The Covenant" is pure popcorn, with a load of cliches -- might be fun for a watch after two A.M., when nothing else is on. During daylight, there are countless better things on.