24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
Many Techniques Really Work...although awkward at first,
By A Customer
This review is from: Happiest Toddler on the Block, The: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-behaved One- to Four-year-old (Hardcover)
Although the analogy to prehistoric man is overdone a bit, there are so many sensible, clear strategies offered in this book to try with 1-4 year olds that really are working for us. We learned how to talk what the author calls "toddler-ese"...and it has really made a positive difference in the cooperation we are now getting from our 2 and 3 year olds. The author's suggeston of mirroring their feelings and "wants" with short, repeated phrases that reflect the child's words, tone and body lauguage has quickly and almost magically stopped much of my toddlers' defiant, annoying behaviors. Karp emphasizes that what you say to someone who is really upset is less important than HOW YOU SAY IT. And his theory has proven itself to be correct in our home.
The only suggestion in the book that I have a problem with is using a hook and eye latch to lock a child in his room even for a very short time-out. I feel this can be scary for the child and although it may get the child to know that you do mean business, I prefer not to get compliance from my children with fear, guilt or humiliation. Karp does suggest that you explain to the child in "toddler-ese" how the locking mechanism works so that he will know the door will not open when mom uses it.
I also recommend another one of my favorite parenting reference books as a compliment to Karp's hardcover book called "The Pocket Parent". This is a very practical, quick read, little paperback book loaded with many positive discipline and communications tips written exclusively for parents of 2-5 year olds. Peppered with humor and organized alphabetically by behaviors such as: Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Bedtime and Mealtime Refusals, the "Gimmees", Interrrupting, Morning "Crazies", and Whining...Pocket Parent is a real sanity saver. Both books will lift your spirits with specific ideas to try as well as loads of compassionte support from authors that have been there, too... especially when you feel you are just about at the end of your tether with the little ones.