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Customer Review

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent 12 Step Recovery Book, 21 Jun. 2013
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This review is from: Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction (Paperback)
Writing a review for a book like this is very important as this subject is so hidden and shameful which is a shame on its own.
I am proud that I had the courage to read this book and by writing this review I honestly and sincerely hope this will help someone buy the book and help them or their partners in the recovery of this unfortunate addiction.
This has got to be one of the best 12 step recovery books around. Patrick Carnes style of explaining Sexual Addiction is very clear and empathetic to both the Addict and the partner of the addict. I have read the entire book in two days. I plan to go back and re-read it again. I have read various books on this subject (most a big fat waste of my time and money) and this has got to be right up there with the best and most useful and informative books on this sucject that I have read to date. The fact that the author makes clear the huge importance of attending 12 step recovery groups throughout the book was comforting to read. This book is full of hope and practical advice for someone who has the difficult task of picking up the pieces of their lives due to sex addiction and gives hope to those who are struggling with honesty. To sum up the the book in one word I would say HOPE. A large emphasis is on porn addiction but but does cover other sexual behaviour such as visits to escorts, massage parlours and affairs. it also covers a lot on how the addiction could have started with addictive distructive behavious long before realising it was a problem and in doing so helps the addict understand where the routes of this behaviour began. For anyone who is battling with this addiction I can honestly and whole heartedly say this book will help you to understand you are not alone. It really is a manual type book by Hazelden that is helpful to anyone connected to anyone else who is a sex addict or for someone wanting to understand more about sexual addiction. It is a thorough book on the subject and gets 5 stars from me and deserves every star.
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Showing 1-1 of 1 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 21 Jan 2014 00:49:23 GMT
Last edited by the author on 21 Jan 2014 01:10:49 GMT
Miss S says:
Hi Niki and also to the other reviewers . May i be accepted to make some comments and thoughts on this subject , from the book title , im admitting i have not read it , gathering info and taking from my own life as a single women , never married or havent found the person to live with yet in the past up to 45 years , no children . Just my thoughts as single person , still looking for a partner , i would say there is no such thing as a sex *addiction* , although , drawing from my not that vast sexual experience i *do* believe there is *sexual incompatability* , im stressing that one and many couples including this happening to me with one boyfriend , i was 38 at the time and he was in his mid to late 40's ( although he told me he was just 40 i found out later ) hed often say to me words to the effect of you have an addiction in a joke or i cannot take this or you will have to find a man who is prepared to concentrate ..i just brushed that off as jokey comments but what he was saying is ..we are incompatable .i was healthy , not using any oral contraceptives that plays a part in sex drive , i did not have any internal contraception such as an iud so condoms were the only thing to use if i could get him to we say here i was just having cycles so your sex drive is good to high and then you ovulate and your wanting it more ..your not married and not a year old the relationship ..i might of been ready a number of times a day or even hoping once done wee could repeat the act , considering he was over 40 not a teenage boy hard for them to get another erection and i would say in his personality he was a LAZY man ..i had far more energy but i also had endometriosis m, i mention this in previous reviews , but instead iof lying there moaning in pain i had a high sex drive maybe partly due to the fact of that but not using anything to dampen it so to speak the end he tried to make me feel BAD for that or GUILTY when it was him and his age , his lifestyle he was a former drug user - cocaine i was not , but still id say he was generally clapped out ..when i was all raring to go !!! i had not had kids ..
I have found that problem a number of times with people not many but this age 45 i expect to find it ..unless of course they know how to give a women an orgasm but still so far ive never not felt like that even when feeling sick around ovulation to vomiting point there is still that feeling there isnt this odd im feeling sick with periods and ovulation but i could still do that im still interested NOW even feeling illish ..Depending on a womens state , for expample one time i had an iud it was stimulating my uterus 24/7 so i needed to address that , i got it removed but if your a person that is active , healthy , got lots of adrenaline more so than the lazy couch potato your going to be seen as an addict ...if a person has relationship problems one peerson is not interested in sex or it not going well in the partnership ..your going to get that NATURAL desire somewhere else ..see to that most people do , unless they just stick to masturbation with or without using porn , not everyone uses an "aid" for that act ..visiting prostitutes ect men and i know before me my partner did that in his marriage , thats because he liked men dressed as women i presume for anal sex he couldnt ask his wife to perform that act , and prob didt want to say he liked the perfomance on him , which yu can replicate even as a woman , id call that a relationship issue not sort of an addiction ,it was a sex issue , but i carnt say *problem * is anal sex classed as a "problem " ??? i dont know , if your a person like me who has lots of energy or interested in things and curious in your personality it dosent mean your going to be unfaithful it just means as a couple you can work at exploring things and be honest as you can in sexual expression to each other ..if there is something your not happy with talk it though ..i dont think there is any shame about a conclusive act of orgasm to most things in life NOT including the obvious illness of underage people and animals and things such as that ..but porn there are reasons people use it and massage places and prostitutes ,everyone works for harmony in sex life and love too if you can but if something is going wrong people dont want to admit there is an issue , single people men may do it or not in a long term relationship where mutal happiness and trust and openess wth each other with all things ..and the other as i say married and maybe marriage issue or sexual incompatability the case of Mr Kennedy the famous so called sex addict ..maybe he could of got a disease and his wife didnt want to so he just carried on as single , or he was bored ( relationship problem but they had to be married and be together ) sexual incompatability , or she didnt want to do thing he was asking ..and thats her right to say no ..but i dispute he was a "sex addict " its well known that orgasm releases feel good things to the brain and get the blood to the uterus and lower organs and that helps keep them healthy ..and it keeps people happy saying all that im single but i can only live in hope carnt i .Can i just say please , a lot of people just want close physical contact or being naked having a cuddle a kiss , but nobody seems to be able to ask for those things so you take you take your clothes off and have sex and think yes , ive had my cuddle but that was part of it and maybe then if you like lots of cuddles i do i dont get them you could be accused of sex addiction ..a good book from Amazon i have read and purchased from here is The Encyclopedia Of Unusual Sex Practices which i reviewed by Brenda Love ..lots of interesting stuff in there and non silly illustrations .thanks
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Location: Surrey, United Kingdom

Top Reviewer Ranking: 34