Customer Review

98 of 182 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars KEEP AWAY FROM YOUR CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS!, 6 Oct. 2011
This review is from: Go the F**k to Sleep (Hardcover)
I stumbled across this book on Amazon and thought it looked cute, so I bought it to read for my four-year-old at bedtime. I was looking forward to receiving it, but when I opened up the package, I was horrified to see a sleeping child surrounded by tigers. Children should not sleep in the presence of tigers. Tigers are dangerous! Had I noticed the tigers on the cover from the start, I never would have purchased the book. I thought they were just really big cats from some magical land like Oz or The Magical Land of the Really Big Cats.

I should have thrown the book straight in the trash after seeing the cover, but I'm not exactly made of money so I taped a page from a newspaper to hide the cover from Max and read it to him later that night. I started reading it and it was really great, but then I got to the last sentence on the first page and was horrified! I've never read such filthy language in a children's book. I wanted to stop reading. I NEEDED to stop reading. But Max is the pushiest four year old I've ever met so he wouldn't let me stop reading.

I read more and more of the book and felt intense nausea, but I had to continued because Max would have would have squirmed away and told me that he hated me if I stopped reading before the end. The publisher of this book should be ashamed of themselves for publishing such filth. Not a page went by without one usage of the f-word. And there was even one page with the word for excrement!

Page after page. A few of them even had children playing with tigers like on the cover! I'm mortified that Max will leave the house and spend the night sleeping in the zoo surrounded by deadly predators rather than sleep in his room surrounded by his 27 teddy bears. And then there's that page with the child falling through the air attached to a parachute. Oh my Lord! I don't know what's more dangerous: a child spending time with tigers or jumping out of a plane to go skydiving.

This horrible book is only 18 pages, but it felt like an eternity while I was reading it. I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack before I finished reading its last obscene sentence.

And then I saw the final page with the biographical data of the evil evil men who wrote and illustrated the book. I didn't read it aloud to Max because it always angers him whenever I accidentally read a page like this. But I was shocked...absolutely shocked to learn that not only did the author have a filthy mouth and advocate putting small children in dangerous situations, but he is also an anti-Semite. Even worse than an anti-Semite. He is a proponent for the extinction of all Jews. I will never, ever read his book, The End of the Jews, especially to Max. At that moment, I felt like I had just read a children's book written by Adolf Hitler.

Shame on you, Amazon! Shame on you for your false advertising. You are to blame for not listing the book's actual title. How was I supposed to know what the book was actually called when you censored the title's filthy word? I never thought anyone would use THAT word in a children's book title. I thought it was a Sumerian word or something. I thought the book would be educational. Teach Max a few words from an ancient language before he went to sleep. But no--instead he's been talking like a hummus and salsa factory worker ever since I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life.
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Comments

Tracked by 10 customers

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Showing 1-10 of 50 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 8 Oct 2011 22:58:55 BDT
R. M. miller says:
This is the worst review ever on Amazon! Hahaha, if you were so offended you would not have carried on reading this offensive book to your precious Max. For fook sake! This is obviously a wind up, I hope?

In reply to an earlier post on 9 Oct 2011 23:33:27 BDT
bright star says:
I hope this reveiw is a joke? If not it is the funniest f**king review I have ever read!

Posted on 10 Oct 2011 14:21:42 BDT
It must be a wind up, absolutely no one is that stupid...are they?

Posted on 15 Oct 2011 16:44:23 BDT
hilarious!

Posted on 24 Oct 2011 13:02:06 BDT
you thought ' it looked cute ' - it is called - Go the F**k to sleep. What did you think the F**K stood for? Maybe your child should teach you to read.

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Oct 2011 20:17:14 BDT
Bradley says:
I suggest you actually read the entirety of a review before commenting on it. Your answer lies within.

In reply to an earlier post on 25 Oct 2011 10:36:48 BDT
Hey Brad, I did read it all. And now, I've read it again and I refer to my first post.

If, as some people think, your review is a joke, then you're not really helping the book, or any discussion of it. Reviews are not a chance for you to show how funny or clever you are, they are there for you to help people decide if they do or don't want to buy the book. Yours doesn't do that and so as a review it doesn't work.

Good luck with the comedy career.

In reply to an earlier post on 25 Oct 2011 23:12:33 BDT
Bradley says:
I agree. Reviews are to help people decide whether or not to buy a book. And my review has done its job if it helps to prevent customers from buying the book for their children.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Oct 2011 08:25:31 BDT
I'm sorry Bradley but anyone who buys this book for their kids is beyond help.

In reply to an earlier post on 27 Oct 2011 05:11:27 BDT
Bradley says:
I take pride in helping people. Because of this, I would like to help you learn correct grammar. In your last post, you should have put a comma before and after my name. I hope this lesson in grammar has been helpful to you.
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