3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Didn't take you far enough to be helpful,
By A Customer
This review is from: Ending the Homework Hassle: Understanding, Preventing, and Solving School Performance Problems (Paperback)
The basis of this book is to help kids WHO CARE ABOUT THEIR GRADES to get organized. The only "threat" to kids was "if you don't do this, you won't get a good grade". He gave examples of his own children who got very upset at the prospect of a bad grade on a project or paper. The problem at my house was a son who didn't care if he got good grades or not, so this book was no help. After reading several books on this subject, the one I choose to follow was Homework without Tears by Lee Canter. His book told you what to do when they don't care about their grades, "lost" or "forgot" their homework or claimed all semester that everything was done and you only find out differently when the report card comes with a horrible grade.
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Initial post: 5 Jun 2013 10:25:32 BDT
M. Ros says:
But isn't it Rosemond's whole idea that you, as the parent, should make son care about getting good grades? It's been a while since I've read the book but his whole point is that instead of leading an unwilling horse to water or teaching a pig to sing (which is exhausting and annoying to the pig) by 'helping' your son with his homework you should shoulder the responsibility of the actual homework on your son (it's HIS homework - he should be doing it HIMSELF) and only dole out the CONSEQUENSES when he fails to bring home proper grades.
Your son is playing you. What a lovely drama! Mom and dad running around in circles, trying, begging, cajoling, promising all kinds of stuff, if only son would do his homework? Don't you understand, son, how important this is? No, of course son doesn't undestand. He's a kid/teenager - they don't have that wider view/insight adults have. What son DOES understand is that he, by loafing and adopting a 'I don't care' attitude he has his parents by the short and curlies, and this gives him a sense of power. It will undermine him in the long run of course, but he's a kid, he won't see that. It's more fun to gain and exercise power over his parents by making the issue of homework and grades a powerstruggle.
So do as Rosemond so very sensibly advises and stop the powerstruggle. There IS no powerstruggle. You are the parent, he is the kid. It's his job to be a good kid, which means to bring home good grades. It doesn't matter if he spends one hour a day on his homework, or three or none, as long as he performs well. But perform well he should, and if he doesn't, well, therer will be consequenses. That room of his with 'his stuff' and his entertainment can be bared and each privilige won back, grade for grade. But most of all, don't make it into a powerstruggle. You are his parent - it's a foregone conclusion who has the power. You. By making it a struggle you give him the power.
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