29 of 84 people found the following review helpful
Makes War and Peace look like a children's book!,
This review is from: Mass Effect: Deception (Mass Effect 4) (Paperback)Wow, just wow! So there I was, soaking my sexy nerdy body in a hot bubble bath - a champagne glass in one hand and this book in the other. Alone, of course, since no self-respecting Mass Effect überfan engages in anything with the opposite sex when they're immersed in anything related to the ME universe. And perhaps also because I spend too much time playing Xbox games instead of going out with someone (Mrs. Palmer notwithstanding).
This book is no doubt the best work of fiction created by mankind. Dare I say, it might even be the best book written in the entire galaxy. Twain, Tolstoy, Joyce, etc can kiss Dietz' butt and curse in their graves, because their works never even came close to what this book does. It's like Dietz managed to pack the entire range of human emotions into 336 pages of pure bliss. It's uninterrupted nirvana from start to finish. Never before has a book taken me to a state of complete euphoria. Reading it is like taking an overdose of Valium, while inhaling laughing gas and having sex with 10 of the world's most beautiful women, all at the same time.
I read this from cover to cover in a single session until my pasty white skin made me look like a giant prune in that bathtub. And now that it's finished, I feel like I'm missing part of my life - It's like someone took a bit of me and tossed it into the eternal abyss of a black hole.
All of the readers that gave it one star are probably the same people who played the game as a renegade badass. Besides, they probably haven't considered that maybe it's set in a parallel Mass Effect universe, where things are similar yet strangely not quite the same; hence why some things (quite possibly the entire book) seemingly don't make much sense.
In short, I've read many books (including all the other ME books), but this is a must read for everyone who wants to have their imagination captured and raped by a pack of Vor'cha.
Tracked by 3 customers
Sort: Oldest first | Newest first
Showing 1-10 of 15 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 2 Feb 2012 11:49:08 GMT
Last edited by the author on 2 Feb 2012 12:08:34 GMT
You must be indoctrinated by the Reapers to be crazy enough to think this book is any good. I must say that the "imagination raped by a vorcha" line is very appropriate. This piece of crap novel would not be pleasant by any stretch of the imagination. Not only does it take a figurative crap on the lore established in the previous novels but it also likes to insult the reader's intelligence. I don't know about you but characters growing out of autism sounds a little bit fishy. I am deeply sorry that you paid actual money for this...putrid novel.
Posted on 2 Feb 2012 11:52:56 GMT
William Bell says:
You spelled Joyce wrong.
Posted on 2 Feb 2012 13:06:52 GMT
Liam Nicholson says:
was this review secretly written by the author? or maybe he paid a friend to write it?
Posted on 2 Feb 2012 16:23:17 GMT
Last edited by the author on 2 Feb 2012 16:24:02 GMT
Harriet Klausner, is that you again? 5 star review, please don't make me laugh.
Posted on 2 Feb 2012 21:11:57 GMT
I think there are one or two commentators around here who need to look up the word 'irony'.
In reply to an earlier post on 2 Feb 2012 22:12:37 GMT
Whoops. Google was closed when the Reapers invaded, so I couldn't look it up. In retrospect, that was a very silly mistake to make.
In reply to an earlier post on 2 Feb 2012 22:14:22 GMT
I got 4,000 credits, 4 Paragon points and was promised a sexy night out with Liara if I gave it 5 stars.
In reply to an earlier post on 2 Feb 2012 22:19:02 GMT
Perhaps that last line was written in a moment of clarity when I managed to escape their mind control and indoctrination.
Posted on 8 Feb 2012 12:04:12 GMT
Dougal Three says:
Fantastic review - never have I been treated to an interplay of words and sensations that paint such a breathtakingly compelling picture of a story that surely can only be described as epic. Given I have experienced bliss merely from the text's echo, merely from the breathless report of a Mass Effect acolyte, I tremble with excitement to think I am destined to experience it firsthand myself shortly.
Posted on 21 Feb 2012 22:04:04 GMT
E. Barber says:
I think this is a troll review ...
The whole thing reads like sarcasm.