Customer Review

68 of 75 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Bullet to the brain, 2 Jun 2010
This review is from: Bullet (Anita Blake Vampire Hunter 19) (Hardcover)
Ruthless murders, treachery and a potential civil war among the vampires. Can it be... plot returning to the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter series?

In a word... no. Laurell K. Hamilton's infamous Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series is obviously running on fumes in its nineteenth book, "Bullet" -- she just strings along one messy subplot after another, and tacks on some magical orgies and bickering about feelings to beef it up. It's like being shoved headfirst into a steaming pot of rancid bodily-fluids.

After a dance recital that has nothing to do with ANYTHING, Asher throws a fit over the fact that everybody is getting some man-loving except him. Can't say I blame him.

The obvious solution is to talk about people's feelings, then have an S&M foursome with Richard, Anita and Jean-Claude -- which is interrupted by a pair of far more powerful vampires who are trying to destroy Anita. It seems the supervampire Marmee Noir is not quite dead, and has apparently possessed the entire Vampire Council and is preparing to attack Anita and Co.

But instead of dealing with that, Anita makes some phone calls and then starts an all-out battle with the local werelion Rex, who has annoyed her in some vague way. To make matters worse, somebody has put a contract out on Anita and her vast harem, and there's a rotting Master of the City who's causing trouble.

In theory, "Bullet" has a plot. But once you actually sit down and read it, you'll find that the "plot" is just a string of sloppy subplots that have nothing to do with each other. It's just a big, messy, incoherent stew of S&M sex, wangst, whining, sexist snipes and Anita generating new powers like a gumball dispenser.

And honestly... it's BORING. Anita and her harem just sit around playing Metaphysical Tug-o-War and occasionally chatting on the phone. Occasionally there's actual fighting, but it's very brief and usually smothered in "metaphysical" stuff. And since there's no solid central plot, Hamilton crams in lots of stuff that has nothing to do with anything else -- dance recitals, Haven's meltdown, and a very unsexy mass orgy.

Hamilton's writing is grotesquely clumsy (Anita admiring the "creamy goodness" of her "mounded" breasts), and it gets worse when she tries to be poetic ("She offered her power to us like a dark wind" -- huh?). And endless pages are devoted to Anita's boytoys' clothes, hair, and hot bodies -- but I honestly don't care what color eyes Generic Vampire #7 has or how tall WereThug #39 is.

As usual, Anita is crude, self-important, crusty and demanding -- when she isn't sitting around having effeminate bishies wait on her, she's amassing new superpowers and setting herself up to become queen of yet another werespecies. Hamilton also fumbles some of the other characters -- Asher is suddenly a whiny, vindictive jerk; Richard has become a brainwashed buttkisser, and Haven (reportedly based on Hamilton's ex-bodyguard) has become a possessive maniac.

"Bullet" is a sagging, dribbling stew of sex and supernatural powers, and Laurell K. Hamilton devotes the few flickers of plot to... whatever will happen in the next book. I can hardly wait.
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Comments

Tracked by 1 customer

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Showing 1-9 of 9 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 30 Jun 2010 06:39:11 BDT
i think you perfectly summed up everything i felt about the book-and made me laugh!

In reply to an earlier post on 2 Jul 2010 20:56:22 BDT
Made me laugh too, and decide firmly against buying any more books in this series. I've been struggling with the last few, so I ain't gonna struggle no more...or something :)

Posted on 12 Jul 2010 16:30:26 BDT
Mme Hmm says:
I love this review because it's so TRUE. The last book was horrific, and this one wasn't any better. As someone who read the original books back in the early 90's, I am utterly and completely disappointed at what this series has become. Something has to give.

Posted on 23 Aug 2010 12:39:52 BDT
I've found that reading other readers reviews and comments on the Anita Blake novels; has become far more entertaining than the actual books.

In reply to an earlier post on 28 Aug 2010 16:35:03 BDT
A. Rose says:
It's sad, but is so very true. I don't know what LKH is doing now, but she is losing all her fan base by doing it. If she's run out of ideas then she should just stop, ratehr than just re-hashing the same old crap.

Posted on 7 Nov 2010 19:04:16 GMT
Thank you for reading this carp so I no longer have to bother.

What a sad waste of a formerly great heroine.

In reply to an earlier post on 10 Jan 2011 00:15:42 GMT
Last edited by the author on 10 Jan 2011 00:17:44 GMT
alleeex says:
cool thx for letting me not waste my money i will wait for her next book reviews :0 hmm u sure LKH hasnt died coule of books ago and someone else is writing for her?

Posted on 29 Jun 2011 22:41:51 BDT
You are seriously hilarious - Generic Vampire no. 7 and WereThug no. 39 made me cry with laughter :) I have read all the books up to Skin Trade, when I gave up. I'd been skipping most of the books anyway - the boredom left me drained.

Posted on 20 Dec 2011 10:59:38 GMT
Lol, are there even any werespecies left that she's not queen of?
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