373 of 380 people found the following review helpful
They'll jump for joy - but you won't,
= Durability: = Fun: = Educational:
This review is from: Galt Toys Folding Trampoline (Toy)First things first: my two and a half year old loves this trampoline. It made him giggle with delight from the first moment he climbed on it. Once constructed, it is durable, a good size and well balanced. 'Folding' is a slight misnomer: the feet do fold, but you actually have to unscrew and remove the handle if you want to put the whole thing away.
But as you watch your child's happy face you will have to try and forget the trauma that was the self-assembly process. I'm not quite sure why the actual trampoline section of this toy has to be self-assembly. It's much like buying a tennis racket and having to string it yourself. And about as much fun.
In essence the task before you will be this: take one bungy cord, and, using brute force, stretch it to double its natural length in order to lace it between the eyelets in the metal base and eyelets in the trampoline mat. But that's not all. The mat will have to remain around 5cm equidistant from the metal frame at all times.
A few things will be working against you in this task. First: the laws of physics - specifically the one about gravity (the whole structure is light and wants to lift off the ground as you yank the bungy cord); and also Newton's third one about motion (the one that says that every stretched bungy cord has an equal and opposite unstretching if you relax your grip for a microsecond).
Secondly, your sense of humour. You will be familiar with the first law of self-assembly: time spent is inversely proportional to fun gained. Whenever you tighten the cord, the mat will naturally pull tight to the metal frame. But yet it must stay several centimetres from it. My, how you'll laugh.
And thirdly the resilience of your skin: the inevitable blistering of your hands as you attempt to wrap those last groaning millimetres of bungy around the final eyelets will be an impediment to the task-completion you will by that time be prepared to sacrifice your life for.
Its at about this point to you will remember how you scoffed at the manufacturer's advice that this toy is best asembled by two people. Two adults to assemble one modestly sized item of garden recreation? Don't be ridiculous. In desperation you will nonetheless summon your hapless partner/spouse to assist. But that, sadly, will serve only to double the frustration and half the viable duration of your marriage.
There is possibly a decent TV programme format in getting the manufacturers of self assembly merchandise to construct their own products in front of a hostile audience. Your small child however will simply watch your misery in bewilderment, and then climb on board and bounce. And as you watch them a tear will come to your eye. The tears of pure, uncomprehending, bewildered misery of a kind only self assembly can induce.
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Showing 21-30 of 45 posts in this discussion
Posted on 29 Apr 2010 19:20:04 BDT
Mrs. A. C. Mayfield says:
helpful review and very funny
Posted on 19 Jul 2010 15:41:41 BDT
Legal Eagle says:
LOL!!! I will not be buying this product but thank you for bringing a smile to my face on another wise very dull Monday at work, so dull in fact I have resorted to researching trampolene's!
Posted on 4 Oct 2010 13:09:34 BDT
D. Pizzuti says:
Seriously the funniest review I have ever read. I am sure it is accurate and it was definitely helpful. I agree with Dr. Willett...Hamish should write for a living.
Posted on 23 Oct 2010 21:51:53 BDT
Dr. Tristan B. Hyde says:
Unbelievably good review. Strangely I still want to buy the trampoline to live the review as well as read it. Genius. Thanks Hamish
Posted on 23 Jan 2011 14:11:59 GMT
Last edited by the author on 23 Jan 2011 14:18:39 GMT
Mr. A. C. Lees says:
I can attest to the above review after my brother and his wife bought this for my daughter's second birthday.
He rang me today to see how I'd got on. After describing the agony as mentioned above, he laughed and pointed me to this review. If only I'd known prior, then I would have ensured he'd been there to 'assist'.
Assembly aside, it is a good quality trampoline and my little 'un loves it.
Posted on 8 Apr 2011 21:24:41 BDT
Leo's Mommy says:
Fantastic review and made all the more funny when you've been through it yourself! I was looking to replace the tired trampoline we have, however after being reminded so brilliantly of the pain of the assembly process our second child may well have to make do with the faded and slightly moldy trampoline of her big brother!
Posted on 11 Jun 2011 20:27:59 BDT
Big Mamma says:
Brilliant review!!! Not only has this review deterred me from buying this thing (I am 8 mths pregnant and NOT keen to assemble this object OR get into a marital fight about it!), but Hamish has made me laugh so much that I had to read his other reviews .... making for a funny Saturday night!! Thank you for your reviewing efforts and for making me laugh.
Posted on 13 Oct 2011 12:40:08 BDT
Claire Kamakioti says:
The best review I have ever read. I will now ask my husband to decide if our 2 year old really needs a trampoline ... I agree with others who have commented here, you should write for a living!
Posted on 21 Oct 2011 20:06:29 BDT
The funniest review I have ever read for any product.
Posted on 2 Dec 2011 14:16:47 GMT
S. Walsgrove says:
Made me laugh out loud and definitely decide to buy this for my grandson - I look forward to a very entertaining Christmas watching this being assembled...