491 of 499 people found the following review helpful
They'll jump for joy - but you won't,
= Durability: = Fun: = Educational:
This review is from: Galt Toys Folding Trampoline (Toy)
First things first: my two and a half year old loves this trampoline. It made him giggle with delight from the first moment he climbed on it. Once constructed, it is durable, a good size and well balanced. 'Folding' is a slight misnomer: the feet do fold, but you actually have to unscrew and remove the handle if you want to put the whole thing away.
But as you watch your child's happy face you will have to try and forget the trauma that was the self-assembly process. I'm not quite sure why the actual trampoline section of this toy has to be self-assembly. It's much like buying a tennis racket and having to string it yourself. And about as much fun.
In essence the task before you will be this: take one bungy cord, and, using brute force, stretch it to double its natural length in order to lace it between the eyelets in the metal base and eyelets in the trampoline mat. But that's not all. The mat will have to remain around 5cm equidistant from the metal frame at all times.
A few things will be working against you in this task. First: the laws of physics - specifically the one about gravity (the whole structure is light and wants to lift off the ground as you yank the bungy cord); and also Newton's third one about motion (the one that says that every stretched bungy cord has an equal and opposite unstretching if you relax your grip for a microsecond).
Secondly, your sense of humour. You will be familiar with the first law of self-assembly: time spent is inversely proportional to fun gained. Whenever you tighten the cord, the mat will naturally pull tight to the metal frame. But yet it must stay several centimetres from it. My, how you'll laugh.
And thirdly the resilience of your skin: the inevitable blistering of your hands as you attempt to wrap those last groaning millimetres of bungy around the final eyelets will be an impediment to the task-completion you will by that time be prepared to sacrifice your life for.
Its at about this point to you will remember how you scoffed at the manufacturer's advice that this toy is best asembled by two people. Two adults to assemble one modestly sized item of garden recreation? Don't be ridiculous. In desperation you will nonetheless summon your hapless partner/spouse to assist. But that, sadly, will serve only to double the frustration and half the viable duration of your marriage.
There is possibly a decent TV programme format in getting the manufacturers of self assembly merchandise to construct their own products in front of a hostile audience. Your small child however will simply watch your misery in bewilderment, and then climb on board and bounce. And as you watch them a tear will come to your eye. The tears of pure, uncomprehending, bewildered misery of a kind only self assembly can induce.
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Showing 1-10 of 50 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 28 Nov 2008 15:32:22 GMT
Dr. M. Willett says:
I Don't know if Hamish writes for a living, be if he does not, he should.
In reply to an earlier post on 30 Dec 2008 10:08:36 GMT
Gary Harte says:
Best review ever !! Cant wait to have ago myself. ( NOT )
In reply to an earlier post on 28 Feb 2009 12:32:26 GMT
Kindle Customer says:
My husband and I put this together and I laughed out loud reading this...very true.
Posted on 8 May 2009 08:05:08 BDT
Mrs. G. Bridgens says:
Best review I have read in ages ... almost makes me want to buy it just for the sake of it!
Posted on 17 May 2009 15:38:39 BDT
Gillian Bruce says:
I have read this aloud to granny and papa who propose to buy this for our daughter's bday, you have made us laugh, but perhaps the joke is on us as they won't have to assemble it!
Posted on 22 May 2009 20:28:44 BDT
A. Billings says:
Funny before buying (and self assembly) even better now I can relate to it first hand although it has taken me a while to get the use of my hands back to enable me to type this...
Posted on 5 Jul 2009 08:04:29 BDT
Miss Debra Lewis says:
Ahhhh Hamish.You have brought a smile to my face on a Sunday morning! I don't think I will inflict this trampoline on my poor husband!
Posted on 19 Aug 2009 21:07:46 BDT
E. wray says:
absolutly classic!! that made me smile :) now do i buy the tampoline? !!!
Posted on 3 Sep 2009 15:48:10 BDT
Got to say that is quality, having put together a very similar product I can relate to all of the above experiences. To really top it off you can try the assembly in a baking hot garden with no shade in the middle of summer(well what little we get of it in the UK). I can guarantee this truly adds to the assembly process.
Posted on 3 Sep 2009 15:51:31 BDT
[Deleted by the author on 3 Sep 2009 15:51:41 BDT]