129 of 143 people found the following review helpful
Why I am currently single,
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)As a mid-20s relatively athletic male, but with very dark hair and surface coverage of this to rival a Wookie from Star Wars, I understand the supposed importance of baby smooth skin and properly trimmed hair on the dating scene. I have previously tried trimming, shaving and waxing various areas of my body to no real long term avail, and so was very intrigued when I heard about Veet hair removal creme and decided to try it at the first possibly opportunity.
Having bought this in a shop and not online, I did not have the opportunity to read other people's reviews of this product, and so upon glancing briefly at the instructions when I opened it assumed that the instruction not to apply to ones nether-regions was just being overly cautious. In fact this seemed to be almost a challenge, and being blessed with hair so long you could plait it 8 weeks after its cut fighting to escape my crack this seemed to be a fantastic idea, not to mention the added length I could gain round the front.
With this impeccable logic in place, the first thing I did was to ignore the warning and liberally coat my gentleman's fruit basket and crevice with the creme and wait for the desired effect. After 4 minutes however I realised, in part, the beginning implications of my mistake. It felt as though fire ants had taken up residence in the area and were now at war, and I had tears of agony rolling down my face. At 5 minutes it felt like I had painted my scrotum in a mixture of meat juice and napalm and then dipped them lovingly into a ravenous piranha tank, and by 5 minutes 58 seconds I was positively deranged and on the verge of blacking out.
As an additional note to anybody who wants to use this crème, it should be strongly advised to only use it when next to the shower. You may find otherwise, like I did, that someone else, with impeccable timing, will decide to use the bathroom at this critical time and force you to take alternative drastic action.
In this particular case 13 seconds after the 6 minute mark I was sitting navel deep in a steamy, watery soup of foam, suds, smouldering flesh, and gravy, with my feet on the draining board and my then girlfriend screaming dementedly at me. Apparently charging wildly into the kitchen whilst bellowing at the top of your voice like a mountain gorilla with its toe caught in a mousetrap, and then cannonballing arse first into the sink whilst your girlfriend is doing the washing up is considered inappropriate behaviour, and can be quite disquieting for a poor girl. She did later however admit she was impressed with the polished red hue my rear iris was emitting as it flashed past her vision like a marine distress flare on the back of a speeding truck.
This experience however has taught me 3 sure things in life:
1. God and the universe has a sense of humour
2. Instructions should always be followed, and not regarded as a challenge
3. If you want your plums, tadger and canyon to be smoother than a greased billiard ball, but twice the size, luminous red and 5 times more sensitive use this crème without listening to point 2.
I am giving this product 4 out of 5 stars, as whilst it does do exactly what is says on the cover, (and more), I am docking it 1 star as the girlfriend and love-spuds I once knew and treasured have all but disappeared, and for the first 2 days after I could not sit down without screaming.