2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Not as good as I thought it would be,
This review is from: The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 (Paperback)
I have been going through a separation and a number of people recommend I read this book. I was also aware of the 'MAP' (Male Action Plan) that the book advocates, prior to reading it.
I think the way the book had been spoken about in reverential tones affected my view of it as the general feeling I had was it was good in parts, but could have been a lot better. Let me elaborate by saying that the concept of sex-ranking and how this affects relationships is covered very well and explained in great detail. The general MAP principles are also covered (but not in as much detail as I thought they would be). Some of the sections talking about why affairs happen was again fine. For this kind of book I quite liked the structure also, very short chapters made it easy to read and made it feel a bit more like a reference guide, which it is of course.
But there were problems also. I felt the authors tone at times came across a little smug, especially when crowing about how wonderful his sex life is with his wife. I feel there were far too many sections dedicated to his own techniques in seducing his wife, sending suggestive texts or co-ercing her to try different things in bed (which she always loves of course!). I think some of the sections are not well understood by the author either - the one that jumped out was in relation to polyamory or the swinging lifestyle...these get lumped in together by the author when they are completely different things altogether. His points in this section may have been relevant to polyamory but not to swinging, where the 'sex-rank' is irrelevant as the activity is undertaken by the couple together and no emotional connections are made.
The over-riding suggestion that everything is biological in nature and geared towards the producing of babies may be correct, but the author doesn't invest any time in trying to understand how similar issues are encountered by homosexual couples, or hetrosexual couples long past baby-making age. I'm not suggesting he hadn't considered this, it just wasn't really explained.
Finally at the end of the book, there is a brief biography of the author at which point it is revealed that not only is he is a gloriously happy relationship, but both he and his wife were virgins when they met and given that neither one of them have seemingly strayed from the nest, it does pose the question of how qualified he is regarding some of the issues being discussed.
Don't get me wrong. There is some thought provoking stuff in here, and some sound common-sense suggestions however the expectation that this was a must-read for self-improvement either in a marriage or for someone just leaving a marriage was wide of the mark, in my view.