Very good book but....,
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This review is from: Broken Heart on Hold: Surviving Seperation (Paperback)
This is a very good book.... but there are a few "buts" to qualify that. First, if you're not religious you will really struggle to finish reading this book, it continuously preaches total reliance on God for recovery. Second, it is based on the premise that there is a possibility of reconciliation.
Please don't let that put you off reading it.
Whatever your situation, in the first period of separation this book will help you to find release from the confused, bottled up feelings, the numbness, to let the tears flow. It is pure emotion, not the dry matter-of-fact dissection of Relate and similar "how to survive divorce" books. There are some wonderful insights in the book too, the type that make you nod to yourself emphatically and say "yes, that's exactly it!" out loud.
However the author's situation is very specific of course, because (and all credit to her for her bravery and generosity in publishing it) the book is inspired by her own experience - 2 people who have drifted apart and who manage to find each other again. Therefore it does not come near to addressing the deep-seated hurt and anger of those whose partners have betrayed their trust. To be fair to the author, she tries to widen the scope by providing regular anecdotes from other problem relationships, but after a while they come across as rather too simplified and trite, particularly the ones about reconciliation. So although I was hooked by the first half of the book, by the second half the author was losing me, especially when it became clear that she had managed reconciliation and therefore obtained that "happy ever after" that so many of us know is simply no longer possible with our separated partners.
So if you are not particularly religious be prepared to pick out the parts of this book that mean something to you and try not to be put off by the preaching of laying yourself sacrificially down at God's Feet and waiting for Him to fix you. There is a great deal of value in this book, it's a gift from the author's heart. It will help you acknowledge and recognise many of the emotions that a separation causes, and will provide insights that help you move forward. In fact it helped me realise that I couldn't depend on anyone else (not my ex-partner, not my family and friends, not a new partner, not even God) to fix my broken heart and spirit, it has to come from inside, you need to dig to find your own core strength and self respect and build from there, that is the key to surviving separation.
It's a long hard road. This book is a very welcome, much appreciated helping hand along the way. Thank you Linda.