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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Negotiating with difficult people.....5 straightforward steps, 14 May 2011
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This review is from: Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People (Paperback)
William Ury wrote here an excellent sequel on the bestseller "Getting to Yes" and expands hereby the negotiation tools set to be more equipped towards dealing with the difficult person in a negotiaton (or situation).

The book follows 5 steps. It covers basic communication styles to diffuse the situation and elements to boost your BATNA (your best alternative) overall. The content list of his book gives already some ideas of this approach. The book covers these 5 steps in a schematic way, by being brief and very much to the point. Compact written and easy to assimilate.

William Ury does also give the course "Dealing with Difficult People and Difficult Situations" at the Program on Negotiation (PON) at Harvard Law School. This course follows also these 5 steps as illustrated here in this book. He is certainly a highly experienced and empathic speaker. He is a great person to come across and therefore I am not surprised he wrote a excellent book like this.

I certainly highly recommend his book, his negotiation course, as well as William Ury as public speaker/trainer.

Content:
Overview: Negotiating with difficult people

Step 1: Go to the balcony (Don't react)
- Keep your eyes on the prize
o Identify your interests
o Identify your BATNA
o Decide if your should negotiate
o Stay focused on your goal
- Name the game
- Buy time to think
o Pause and say nothing
o Rewind the tape
o Take a time-out
o Don't make important decisions on the spot

Step 2: Step to their side (Disarm them)
- Listen actively
o Give your opponent a hearing
o Paraphrase and ask for corrections
- Acknowledge the point & the person
o Acknowledge your opponent's feelings
o Offer an apology
- Agree wherever you can
o Agree without conceding
o Accumulate Yeses
o Tune in to your opponent's wavelength
- Acknowledge the person
o Acknowledge his authority and competence
- Express your views without provoking
o Don't say BUT, say YES...AND
o Make I statements, not you-statements
o Step up for yourself
o Acknowledge your differences with optimism

Step 3: Don't reject....reframe (Change the game)
Step 4: Build them a golden bridge (Make it easy to say YES)
Step 5: Educate, don't escalate (Make it easy to say NO)
Conclusion: Turning adversaries into partners
Analytical table of contents
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