Customer Review

45 of 52 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I want a great game and to chew bubble gum; and I've got lots of gum., 27 Jun 2011
= Fun:1.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Duke Nukem Forever (Xbox 360) (Video Game)
I really wanted to like this game. I can't stress that enough. Plus seeing as my wife bought this for me - I didn't want to seem ungrateful. I've played every Duke game as they were released and back in the day, they were awesome - they were crude and just playable entertainment. This game hits the crude mark, but fails in every other aspect.

I made the mistake of not heeding the other amazon reviews (which is pretty much my barometer on any purchase these days). I saw 'Don't Do it', 'Long load times', 'Fail to the King' and you know what, I ignored them. Why? Well because I'm a doof.

I gave this game a good chance to win me over. But I slowly realised, the prospect of poorly sprited girls throwing innuendoes at me - just doesn't cut it any more. I completely get that this game is trying to continue doing what it did in the hey-day, but what I want from a game has changed greatly since I was a teenager. I want an exciting storyline, I want weapons that are accurate and fun to use, I want to crouch behind cover dammit. Duke - you've not delivered.

So for me, in the later-twenties demographic, the humour is to much hormone-driven teenage boy to be anyway near tongue in cheek. I get that it's playing on the fact that Duke is supposedly a sex driven ego maniac - but the jokes and references are just poor and unfunny. On the flip side, those hormone driven teenage lads who've so far existed on gaming diets of the highest quality are no doubt picking this up and thinking - what an abysmal game.

I played for about 7 hours before I admitted defeat and wanted to scratch my eyes out. If you're desperate to play this please wait until it's come down in price, rent it or - if you really want the essence of the game - just google 'boobies'.
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Tracked by 2 customers

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Showing 1-9 of 9 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 5 Sep 2011 16:15:28 BDT
G. lester says:
Good review thanks, is it worth getting now its dropped to 15?

Posted on 6 Sep 2011 10:30:34 BDT
@stbsteve says:
Thanks - in terms of whether it's worthwhile now it's at 15; I'll need to answer your question with a question:

Would you spend 15 on a frisbee? Because in terms of gameplay, graphics and logevity using it as a frisbee is the only way to get value for money.

Posted on 8 Dec 2011 04:46:29 GMT
I couldn't not google 'boobies' after you said that, good review of a terrible game.

Posted on 14 Dec 2011 19:51:31 GMT
SwordSwingin says:
It's a game guys, not an adult movie or pornographic material.. and it is a fun game, yes the "humour" isn't very humorous but it is a fun game if you give it a chance.

In reply to an earlier post on 19 Dec 2011 11:01:13 GMT
@stbsteve says:
That's pretty much my issue with this game - it isn't a fun game and I gave it a chance. If we were in the 1980's and this game was released alongside asteroids or Ms PacMan then it would be totally revolutionary. My issue with this game is compared to whats come before it, it's not fun, it's not funny and, in my humble opinion, you could get more enjoyment by putting the disk in the microwave and watching the results.

In reply to an earlier post on 18 May 2012 09:30:33 BDT
N Thompson says:
Good review, saved me wasting money, and there is probably a reason it is such a low price already.

Shame, as I'm a big fan of the classic Duke Nuke 'Em games. Very fond memories of playing Time To Kill on the PS1. I'll download the original off Arcade instead.

Posted on 23 May 2012 15:39:51 BDT
Kawster says:
people defending this 'review'?morons.
this isnt a review, he barely even talks about the game, its not the games fault if you have grown out of it.
what about the gameplay? bad and good points?
this is a rubbish review.

In reply to an earlier post on 23 May 2012 16:12:26 BDT
@stbsteve says:
How best to put this - this isn't my job, this is my opinion. If you want to counter my opinion on this 'game' then post a positive review.

I've not given a blow by blow because I've highlighted the key failings; in that a) it's trying to pick up where it left off - which doesn't work in today's world and b) it's just not fun.

These are the key things I would look at when deciding on a purchase - I'm not going to waste my time covering every detail when that isn't my job.

So if your of an age where you find cheap and unfunny innuendo a key ingredient of your gameplay - come back when you can buy alcohol.

Posted on 26 Mar 2013 15:11:30 GMT
Yeah and Duke even walks slow like a old man and he can't toggle to run.

Sameish bosses too in Duke 3d the battlelord and the 1 eyed freak I yawned when I saw them put new bosses in this game and same one liners that gets really old to listen too.

It's a yawn I seen it all before game.
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