50 of 86 people found the following review helpful
This review is from: The Baby Book (Sears Parenting Library) (Paperback)
Despite the fact I give it only two stars, many parts of this book, and aspects of the Sears' approach, are indeed excellent and very useful. The reason for its low rating however is essentially that (despite utterances to the contrary) the Sears seem to believe that everyone who has a new baby is (1) the perfect mother/parent who never gets frustrated with her child and is happy to give up every moment of a 24 hour day for a year or two in order to look after him/her, (2) willing to share their bed with their baby for 2 or 3 years, in other words never getting a decent night or few hours rest, and (3) wealthy enough to afford all the props, consultants, substitute carers, and so on that they "strongly recommend".
I think this is a valuable addition to a baby book library, but it should be taken with a large dose of salt. I am sure their approach has worked well for them and will for some families. But there is a certain naivity about the book; if you followed their approach to the letter, you would end up with no sleep for about 2 years, breastfeeding your child almost until they go to school, and every time the child crys you would be taking them into your arms and cuddling them till they sleep - *every* time. You will end up an exhausted wreck if your child is in any way difficult or colicky. The Sears, who make their living from writing about babies, can evidently afford to spend 24 hours focussed on every child. They apparently never get tired, angry, or frustrated. Most of the rest of us unfortunately are not perfect, and a more practical "middle-of-the-road" approach will be better for the vast majority of parents.
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Initial post: 16 Jul 2008 12:46:32 BDT
"You would end up with no sleep for about 2 years" - actually, I find that co-sleeping with my baby (now fifteen months old) is the very best way to a full night's sleep. I barely notice when my little one nurses now, whereas getting up, traipsing across to a different room, picking up a crying baby from a cot (crying hard now due to the delay), nursing him, trying to get him calmed down and back to sleep again... and doing this once or twice a night... now THAT would make me sleepless!
As for spending 24 hours a day with your baby - well, actually if you read the book, Sears & Sears offer recommendations for working parents too.
"Breastfeeding your child almost until they go to school", well, I personally plan to breastfeed my child until he wants to stop. But the book also contains information as to how to gradually and gently wean off the breast - at whatever age - so if you don't want to go down the self-weaning route help is at hand in this book too.
"Every time the child crys you would be taking them into your arms and cuddling them till they sleep - *every* time" - well, Sears & Sears only recommend comforting a crying child to *sleep* if s/he is tired. But yes, they do recommend comforting a crying child on every occasion. And you know what? I really don't think that's such a tall order. And something else - if you parent your child the way Sears & Sears recommend you'll probably find they cry less often anyway.
As for colic, Sears & Sears have some excellent advice for soothing a colicky baby in the book.
Don't let this poor review put you off. This really is an excellent read. And unlike certain other baby guides - you know of the ones I speak (contented? or just given up?) - it isn't prescriptive, and you really can "take what you need, and leave the rest".
Posted on 4 Aug 2010 23:55:06 BDT
Margarita S says:
did you actually read the book? or maybe have a chip onyour shoulder/guilt thing going on?
What the book actually says is to trust your innermost instincts, if it feels wrong to let your baby cry then don't, if you can't sleep with your baby then don't. It is the most nonpreachy book on baby rearing out there! they offer advice and at the same time tell you that if it doesn't work for you to try other ways, which they go into. Remember that when you are a newborn, your only way of communicating anything is by crying, repond and you will actually learn what your baby is trying to say.
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