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Customer Review

16 of 39 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars controlled cry-it-out against my belief, 13 Sept. 2009
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This review is from: New Toddler Taming: A parents' guide to the first four years: The World's Bestselling Parenting Guide (Paperback)
I read the raving reviews on this book but should have read the one stars too, as the author recommends contraversial methods to get your child to sleep. I am an intuitive parent and refuse, no matter how tempting, to allow or make my babes cry to sleep, whether controlled or otherwise.

I ordered the book for insights on toddler behaviour to deal compassionately with my 17mth old, but went straight to the chapter on sleep problems to refer to his so-called 'successful methods' to help a friend in need. What I discovered absolutely horrified me, as controlled crying was not referred to anywhere on the review that I recall. And I hadn't appreciated that this guy is the infamous 'string tied to the doorknob' author, as I most certainly would have given this book a wide berth. Needless to say I have requested a refund forthwith!
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Showing 1-7 of 7 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 16 Sep 2009 13:35:35 BDT
K. Andrews says:
Just because YOU don't agree with a view doesn't make the book wrong! Controlled crying works extremely well for some people and I think it's worth reading a variety of books to help you form your own opinion. After all, what is the point in sending a book back if it doesn't tell you what you know already?! Compassionate parenting is probably what has led to the massive population of over-indulged, spoilt teenagers. Controlled crying is an early form of discipline that keeps you, as the parent, in control rather than the child/toddler.

In reply to an earlier post on 10 Apr 2010 12:03:14 BDT
Last edited by the author on 10 Apr 2010 12:04:03 BDT
Have you read "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn? In the spirit of your comment "it's worth reading a variety of books" I couldn't agree more and think that Alfie has some extraordinarily interesting things to say, which he backs up with a raft of researched evidence. The massive population of over-indulged, spoiled teenagers is a result of children getting what they want and not what they need. Children certainly don't need to be left to sob themselves to sleep.Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

In reply to an earlier post on 28 Jul 2010 15:34:07 BDT
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Posted on 6 Oct 2010 22:25:32 BDT
B Button says:
I did the controlled crying with my two sons after 2 years of very disturbed sleep. The first night was hell, the second a little better and on the 3rd they both slept. They have been great sleepers since and have both turned into really easy-going, nice teenagers. Don't be so drippy about being firm - I was and I blame myself for letting the children dictate everyone's sleep patterns in the first place. I don't regret for a minute forming a sleep routine based on controlled crying and wish I'd done it much sooner.

In reply to an earlier post on 25 Oct 2010 10:24:20 BDT
Oliver Lea says:
Likewise, controlled crying sorted out our first child's sleep problem in about 4 nights. Didn't work so well for second child, but only because we were inconsistent in it's application.

In reply to an earlier post on 5 Jun 2011 15:05:27 BDT
Actually, controlled crying has been medically proven to have a permanent adverse effect on a developing adrenal system (refer to The Science of Parenting by Margot Sutherland) and it can also lead to 'failure to thrive' syndrome (refer Dr William Sears). I don't know any mother that has used the CIO method and hated doing so, perhaps it's more successful when men use it. I don't mean no discipline at all! But it goes against human nature to listen to a child alone crying endlessly when they obviously need comfort and assurance. I already know this is wrong parenting hence sending it back... I didn't need to read the rest!

Posted on 15 Dec 2011 13:19:02 GMT
Last edited by the author on 15 Dec 2011 13:20:09 GMT
A reader says:
Controlled crying was one of the best things we ever did. Our daughter became more and more demanding when we let her sleep in our beds and couldn't put herself to sleep or go back to sleep if she woke up. It was bad for her because our actions made her completely dependent on us for sleep. It became hell for all of us until we were desperate when she was around 1 year old and tried controlled crying. 2 nights of controlled crying and we watched her put herself to sleep on the baby monitor and she has done so ever since. There is no way this did her any harm. She is much happier and better-rested now. Not all crying is bad and too much intervention can be a bad thing and takes away your child's ability to put themselves to sleep.
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