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Customer Review

3 of 8 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars A boring, tedious film almost as obnoxious as its lead character, 11 Feb. 2014
This review is from: Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus [Blu-ray] [2013] [US Import] (Blu-ray)
The front of the box claims this film is "A hilarious drug-fuelled road movie, Michael Cera is terrific". Let's break that down; it's not funny, not in the slightest and frankly I'm very easily amused. It's not drug fuelled, the vast majority of the film is spent searching for a cactus that can boiled for twelve hours to produce mescaline, an LSD like drug. On refection, watching a cactus get boiled for twelve hours would be a better use of your time than watching this absolute snore fest of a film and would certainly not feel as long.

Whilst searching for the cactus you are subjected to Michael Cera's character annoy you with every action he takes and every word that comes out of his mouth. The reality is, his character is so abrasive and unlikeable that he simply would not have had any friends to help him search for this mystical plant. His friends rarely engage with him, just endure his tedious self centered rants and I kept expecting them to leave him in the desert, which he would have wholeheartedly deserved.

If the director asked Michael Cera to play the most annoying, angst ridden, self righteous teen who ever lived, I would have to agree that he was fantastic, because he nailed it.

Once they finally get hold of their cactus and embark on their trip Cera's character just takes the irritation up another level, anyone who's done psychedelic drugs probably knows the type of person who brags about how experienced, knowledgeable and free spirited they are, only for the trip to kick in and all their insecurities come tumbling out, as their facade collapses and they crumble under the overwhelming experience. Once he settles down his spiritual awakening kicks in and his doors of perception are blown open to the shocking realisation he's been a massive a-hole his whole life. News flash, you don't need psychedelic drugs to realise that, just a bit of self reflection and empathy.

To summerise; the only redeeming quality this film had was that it ended.
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Showing 1-5 of 5 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 23 Mar 2014 02:27:44 GMT
You really don't get this film in spectacular fashion. Everything you have stated is exactly what the director was aiming for- the film is meant to be a slow burner, the characters are meant to come across as being obnoxious, and the idea of Michael Cera's character is absolutely aimed at being "the most annoying, angst ridden, self righteous teen who ever lived". Thats the whole idea of the film!

In reply to an earlier post on 3 May 2014 06:41:44 BDT
Last edited by the author on 22 May 2014 16:16:39 BDT
'The' Burton says:
No I did get it, but thanks for trying to enlighten me regardless. I'm a fan of Japanese cinema so the concept of a slow or 'paced' film is not foreign to me. 'Ghost In The Shell' is an excellent example of a slow burning film. 'Pi' is an excellent example of a film with an abrasive character that's still a riveting piece of cinema. This was an excellent example of a terrible, TERRIBLE film. If you want to make a slow burning film you have to give your audience something to ponder. This had nothing but Michael Cera's voice grating like nails down a chalk board. And as I summarised, the drugs were not what he needed.

Sitting through this garbage felt like a monumental waste of time, but if you got something out of it, great for you buddy, glad someone enjoyed it... :D

Posted on 22 May 2014 00:52:25 BDT
WILL says:
I very much agree with you and anyone who doesnt is insane.

Posted on 5 Nov 2015 14:59:47 GMT
You say you are "A." Burton? - But why not "THE" Burton?

I'm glad you give away the fact that this film "ended", I don't have to watch it now to find out.

In reply to an earlier post on 1 Dec 2015 17:41:12 GMT
Last edited by the author on 4 Dec 2015 15:34:48 GMT
'The' Burton says:
I was going to say that whilst your suggestion for changing my name amused me, it was a rather grandiose gesture and the implications were not in line with how I wished to be perceived. However, on reflection, who am I kidding, why be A Burton in a veritable sea of Burtons when I can be THE Burton?!

So I concede it was the best idea I've heard all afternoon, well since about half past two anyway, when my colleague suggested having some red velvet cake with our afternoon tea, but I digress. I have now changed my name, the deed poll costs were a little more than I was expecting and I guess I need to cancel all my bank cards now, and my driving license, and all my bills, but what the hell you only live once unless you're a Hindu right? Or is it a Buddhist? Whatever it is, I'm not one of them so this is it for me...
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