779 of 796 people found the following review helpful
A treatise on the suitability of the pink pen,
This review is from: BIC For Her Medium Ballpoint Pen (Box of 12) - Black (Office Product)Pray, what is a 'pen'? I do like it so, because it is so pink, but I remain ignorant as to its practical use. Father says not to ask questions because it might give me wrinkles, and to carry on practising my charming giggle so I can one day ensnare a Duke - but I cannot help but be intrigued by the delicate pinkness of this curio. I can only assume that because it is pink, it is intended for a woman's useage. I am a woman, therefore perhaps I should have this pink so-called pen?
Does one place it delicately in the hair? Could one perhaps keep it in a box and take it out to peer at on occasion, when Father is busy in the library (wherever that is)? Is it an appropriate subject for after-dinner conversation? Might one take it on a lovely picnic in Hyde Park?
Naturally, we women are single-mindedly intrigued and captivated by the appearance and beauty of all things. It is almost as if my very womanhood calls out to objects of this colour and demands to be in possession of anything which combines the fascinating shading of red and white. If the 'pen' (an ugly name, I think) were not so pink, I should never have noticed it nor considered its potentialities as a purchase.
However, I am frightened and cautious as well as capricious and flighty, such as only a woman can be. Upon consultation with my conscience, I cannot in all good faith acquire such an item without being fully apprised as to its application. Now that I think upon it, I have heard mutterings about the use of 'pens' amongst Father's business associates whilst pouring the tea for them (though I am sure they cannot have pink ones! An absurd notion!), and this would indicate that they are wholly inappropriate utensils for the fairer sex. I fear I have been enticed into unhealthy enquiry by the dazzling genius of the manufacturer. In colouring this object so, he has perhaps some deviant purpose in mind, correctly assuming that one such as myself may happen upon it and be naturally, helplessly seduced by the hue irresistable.
I shall not be tempted. I shall not enquire nor express any future enquiry as to the purpose of the pink pen. I must not feel it throb in my fingers, if indeed that is where it is intended to be placed. I shall endeavor henceforth to merely collect other pink objects; shells, ribbons and pretty trinkets such as might be suitable for a girl of marriagable age and limited mental capacity.
Tracked by 2 customers
Sort: Oldest first | Newest first
Showing 1-9 of 9 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 18 Aug 2012 10:21:41 BDT
L. Barker says:
I regret that I am unable to comprehend your prose, it is too subtle for my tender, um, the thing in my head that deosn't work...I wonder if I might prey upon your goodness and generosity to provide me with one of these items in order that my IQ might rise to that of a chair leg.
Posted on 27 Aug 2012 17:43:39 BDT
Best. Review. Ever.
In reply to an earlier post on 28 Aug 2012 18:19:00 BDT
Ms. Felicia Davis-burden says:
Gorgeously funny review!
Posted on 29 Aug 2012 15:56:18 BDT
a reader says:
BWAH! Love this review. Brilliant.
Posted on 30 Aug 2012 13:24:45 BDT
Elayne T Riggs says:
Pens and Pensivity, indeed!
Posted on 8 Sep 2012 18:46:24 BDT
Eibhlin Mccann says:
This is actually the best review I've ever read in my life! My sister and I were hardly able to read it we were laughing so much! Good job!
Posted on 25 Sep 2012 10:09:44 BDT
Jenna Routenberg says:
Amazon may not need your real name, but you do need a medal. Brava.
Posted on 10 Jan 2013 15:48:02 GMT
Helen Gregory says:
This is a wonderful thing (the review NOT the pens).
Posted on 11 Jul 2013 16:45:30 BDT
Last edited by the author on 11 Jul 2013 16:47:09 BDT
Reyes Penide Duran says:
‹ Previous 1 Next ›