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192 Reviews
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars His Hired Girlfriend
I loved the story very much! think Jayden was not as strong as he could have been when Alex was being confronted by Brittiney and others, which of course if frustrating. I would have given it 5* but the gramatical mistakes were quite evident and a great shame that it had not been editered as it should have! BUT having said that lot of books have this problem but a good...
Published on 24 Mar. 2013 by MAXWELL

versus
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars needs some work on the content and flow of the story
Mixed opinions

First the story line has potential. There is humour in the story and the whole "Jay is gay "is a good story line. You also get to read how both sides react when getting all "heated and bothered" romantically but then they remember "Jay is gay" and they have to cool down.

Unfortunately the writing is immature,...
Published 11 months ago by jammywhammy


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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars needs some work on the content and flow of the story, 27 April 2014
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This review is from: His Hired Girlfriend (Kiwi Bride Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
Mixed opinions

First the story line has potential. There is humour in the story and the whole "Jay is gay "is a good story line. You also get to read how both sides react when getting all "heated and bothered" romantically but then they remember "Jay is gay" and they have to cool down.

Unfortunately the writing is immature, going from different tenses to different persons. it definitely needs a proofreader and them some. It needs to be all taken up a couple of gears.

Now spoilers - she gets attacked in the bar alley by a drunk person, then she nearly gets attacked and raped by a taxi driver and then she gets drugged and attacked by kyle in a night club and he wants to rape her - all this within 6-7 days.Then Jay was about to be drugged. Too much!! Regarding the taxi driver - that story went nowhere. And if that happened to me - it wouldn't be just swept under the carpet and not mentioned to anyone. I would have had the doctor, the police etc. I would be having nightmares. That Storyline wasn't needed and there was no follow up of result after it.

I did enjoy the story line, but I had to drive myself through the first 1/3 of the book as it didn't read well at all at times. The writing was quite childish and it was like the author pulled on every idea possible and threw them all into the story, whether they made sense to the story line or not.

One of these story lines comes near the end when 2 people are put in prison for murder and attempted murder. This story was just thrown out there. No connection whatsoever and no reasoning behind it!

Please author, read all the reviews you have on this book - they are all telling you the truth. This book needs serious adjusting. And get a proof reader and a good editor. You could then turn something okay into something great.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Needs a good editor, 27 Mar. 2013
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The storyline seemed interesting and at 99p it sounded like a good buy however, the grammar was atrocious. Also it kept swapping from third to first party, found it very confusing. I read on my commute, about two hours a day, and am always looking for something new but should have left this one on the site. I gather that the author is a New Zealand native and if this is the standard of English they finish their education with they are in trouble. Can't understand how it got any good reviews ??
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars hard to get into, 26 April 2014
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This review is from: His Hired Girlfriend (Kiwi Bride Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
I had to stop a few chapters in, which rarely happens for me. The synopsis indicates a great potential storyline, but the writing is so stilted and awkward that it is off-putting. Sorry 😞
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Poorly written, 27 Mar. 2013
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Story ok but can not understand how it got published with so many grammatical errors! Did no one proof read it? Completely spoiled it for me - would certainly put me off this author's work for the future
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars His Hired Girlfriend, 24 Mar. 2013
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I loved the story very much! think Jayden was not as strong as he could have been when Alex was being confronted by Brittiney and others, which of course if frustrating. I would have given it 5* but the gramatical mistakes were quite evident and a great shame that it had not been editered as it should have! BUT having said that lot of books have this problem but a good reader can usually ignore it especially if it has a good story. Would recommend as a light read.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Some much potential...., 4 Mar. 2013
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Looking at the cover and synopsis I was really looking forward to turning page after page of the book....true as it turned out to be as I was relieved once I turned the last page and this grammatical tornado ended...

True I could see the story but I found myself mentally editing due to numerous errors.

NEEDS A HIRED EDITOR
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars not worth it, 1 May 2014
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This review is from: His Hired Girlfriend (Kiwi Bride Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
There is a Cinderella plot line which is so ludicrous that even if it was well written would be hard to read. The writing is terrible and something that a child could have written
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars not bad, 26 May 2014
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This review is from: His Hired Girlfriend (Kiwi Bride Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
Not a bad book but wouldn't pay for it.
Storyline was predictable and boring most of the time. It didnt gel well but i managed to read it all and not give up half way threw so wasnt to bad.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not brilliant - needs editing badly., 25 May 2014
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This review is from: His Hired Girlfriend (Kiwi Bride Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
I read this and as the author says, it is self published. It could really benefit from some professional editing to move it from an OK read to a good one. The basis is there, but there are a lot of holes in it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars It would have been 2.5 stars.....ok first try, 18 May 2014
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This review is from: His Hired Girlfriend (Kiwi Bride Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
I'm not sure who is checking and advising this writer but they are not helping her.
The writing in immature as others have commented and what starts out to be a good plot line is ruined by the writers need to place the main female character in impossible situations.
In a nut shell - student has cool friend who is American, under 30 and a multi-millionaire and here is the first 'REALLY??!!' they meet in the student capital of New Zealand Dunedin. I persevered. Friend pretends to be gay so he can use girl as a buffer from his family. Girl agrees to be a fake girlfriend because he will pay for her Dad's heart transplant. WTF??? I know that patients have to pay for the meds but I thought NZ Hospitals were free, and given we have the western worlds lowest donation rate chances of him getting a heart so quickly was a stretched.
Still determined to finish the book. Now she's heading off to New York with what appears to be no instructions on how to travel, dear lord the Main F is a wimp.
Now in New York, gay boyfriend who isn't gay and likes her, sleeping in same bed, yawnnnnnnnnn.
Ok - book finished, no refund on those 2 hours wasted.
The best thing about this book is that its free.
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