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10 Reviews
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Astounding wisdom
This is probably the wisest book I have ever read. Having gone through divorce and a near breakdown I have done the 'self help' circuit to very little gain. Then I came across this. Maybe it's the right book at the right time, but it speaks to me with clarity and understanding. Richo seems to verbalise what I have known deep down but not been able to get to, he explains...
Published 19 months ago by Jez

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2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
Not impressed
Published 9 months ago by Cheryl Bascombe


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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Astounding wisdom, 17 Oct. 2013
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This is probably the wisest book I have ever read. Having gone through divorce and a near breakdown I have done the 'self help' circuit to very little gain. Then I came across this. Maybe it's the right book at the right time, but it speaks to me with clarity and understanding. Richo seems to verbalise what I have known deep down but not been able to get to, he explains so much about how we work, and it all rings true. This is not about mending things or quick fixes, it's about a deep understanding of how we work as humans and what really lies beneath the veneer of the present.
For anyone who is at all interested in furthering their understanding of themselves, for whatever reason, this is the one book you need.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding, 30 Oct. 2011
By 
TIM SULLIVAN (OXSHOTT, SURREY United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
For anyone who REALLY wants to understand what is actually at play in a relationship, especially with an addict, or someone damaged in their childhood either sexually, or through neglect. The revelations in the book are quite remarkable, and not in any way intuitive. They need to be learned and understood, painful though it is. I cannot speak highly enough of this book. There are excellent examples of how to attain awareness, and spare everyone pain in the future by having the awareness to know what the (often very) hidden dangers are.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars lovely, 28 Sept. 2013
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Helped me understand myself and the people around me in a much clearer light. I think it's a wonderful book if you have already adopted an attitude of needing to explore your inner workings.Its a very intense book and not easy if you are on new territory. If I had read this a few years ago I don't think its message would have worked for me quite so strongly. Something like " Care of the soul" by Thomas Moore may be an easier starting point for this sort of self exploration but definitely worth reading if you are already well into this type of inner journey.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth the read if you wish to transform cycles of the past which thwart relationship success and authentic intimacy!, 25 Mar. 2015
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This review is from: When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds That Sabotage Our Relationships (Kindle Edition)
I highly recommend this book to those seeking to evolve an understanding of relationship success, and what we do to undermine that inherent potential. This book well integrates psychotherapy with the spiritual, personal with the transpersonal, and the individual with the collective, to show you a proactive way forward to profound personal healing, authentic intimacy and relationship success.

It represents a wealth of information for understanding how childhood emotional wounds become exposed in our intimate relationships in adult life, via the process of “transference”. That is, how we transfer our “pasts to the present”, by unconsciously placing a parent’s, former partner’s or significant other’s “face” onto our current partner. This book helps us understand why we do this, and our inherent potential to seek resolution and healing of our childhood wounds via our intimate relationships. That revelation is mind opening in itself!

This book shows how our parent or sibling relationship dynamics continue to influence our lives in the present, and that the big issues played out in relationships often relate to a lack of love in our childhood (father, mother or sibling). The author’s definition of love is practically helpful; that is giving attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing people to be their authentic selves. Just placing that on your relationship dashboard for daily mindful attention is help in itself.

The author helps you understand that intimate relationships are in fact vesicles for profound personal healing (resolving unfinished business from childhood), evolving our consciousness, on our journey toward authentic intimacy and perhaps our spiritual awakening. You simply cannot begin to awaken until you undertake this healing journey. The great news is we have choices; we can awaken and do the grief work; i.e. address, process, resolve & integrate the transferred behavior(s), or stay stuck in the same patterns of behavior that sabotage our relationships.

Some deep self-honesty is required if you are to get the most from this book, and you will likely need to re-read this a few times because it’s so rich in insight, concepts, and wisdom. David Richo’s expertise shines and his writing style flows. I found this book really helpful and I thank him for sharing his experience and insights. Well worth the read!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read., 14 Aug. 2013
By 
Missy V (Plymouth, UK) - See all my reviews
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Anyone who hasn't read this book.
You should.
Even if it doesn't enlighten you about your own past (guaranteed it will, give it time), it'll help you understand others, especially loved ones.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book., 6 May 2015
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This review is from: When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds That Sabotage Our Relationships (Kindle Edition)
It just opened my eyes to have a different view toward myself and the people around me .
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5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars, 9 Oct. 2014
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This review is from: When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds That Sabotage Our Relationships (Kindle Edition)
Such a fascinating book it's a must read..
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5 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Well worth buying, 8 Sept. 2009
This is a fab book - it all makes sense when you read it- it has really helped me to deal with family relationships.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars, 10 Feb. 2015
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great book if start a new chapter in life
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2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars, 6 Aug. 2014
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Not impressed
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