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70 of 83 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I was almost put off it by the great majority and now I have seen the film i ...
This film was not what I expected from the reviews I have read. I was almost put off it by the great majority and now I have seen the film i find them difficult to understand. I read the bible story as a child and was always aware of the darker side to it which this film reflects. I did read it from the bible though not some watered down versions which removed all the...
Published 4 months ago by MR JAMES B PRIOR

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars THERE WERE NO ROCK CREATURES IN NOAH
Forget what you think you know about Noah. In this Middle Earth saga the watchers are huge rock creatures that look like they belong in Star Wars. This is a rather bizarre interpretation of Genesis 6:1-5, and was my first WTF moment. The Watchers actually had relations with humans and created a race of giants who apparently ruled over man...not in this film...
Published 8 months ago by The Movie Guy


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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars THERE WERE NO ROCK CREATURES IN NOAH, 6 April 2014
By 
The Movie Guy "Movies from A to Z" (United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)   
This review is from: Noah [DVD] (DVD)
Forget what you think you know about Noah. In this Middle Earth saga the watchers are huge rock creatures that look like they belong in Star Wars. This is a rather bizarre interpretation of Genesis 6:1-5, and was my first WTF moment. The Watchers actually had relations with humans and created a race of giants who apparently ruled over man...not in this film.

Russell Crowe portrays Noah as a dark, bitter, dysfunctional, unlikeable person who obeys God through his dreams. (God doesn't even make a cameo.) The women, whose names aren't mentioned in the Bible are given expanded and important roles. All the time on the ark is spent on personal drama. No tending of the animals that are all living together in the hull of the ship.

Another problem is that Tubal-Cain kills Noah's father Lamech, not to be confused with Tubal-Cain's father Lamech while Noah was a child.The Bible claims Lamech was born in the 182nd year of Methuselah and lived 777 years. This means he died 10 years before the flood. Noah was over 600 years old at the time of the flood. Do the math.

There were a number of surprises, some I won't mention as I wouldn't want to "spoil" a millennia tale. That said, at the end, a son leaves the group before them all having children when clearly the families stayed together for a number of years and raised children until the Canaan/Noah incident which is not mentioned.

Poor Emma Watson and Jennifer Connelly acted their hearts out, reminding me of Sean Astin who gave a wonderful performance in "Cabin Fever 3." Nothing like casting pearls before swine.

From a biblical prospective, the film was a disaster and not inspirational. As an action adventure story, the rock creatures made me feel like I was watching Indian Jones with aliens. And I suppose people who liked the ending of that film might be attracted to this one.

Oh yea, this thing was way too long. It had scenes which dragged on. It needed an editor. On the plus side Russell Crowe didn't sing much.

This is razzy material. A film you can watch and make fun of MST style.

Worthy of a Redbox rental at best.
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70 of 83 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I was almost put off it by the great majority and now I have seen the film i ..., 29 July 2014
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This review is from: Noah [Blu-ray] (Blu-ray)
This film was not what I expected from the reviews I have read. I was almost put off it by the great majority and now I have seen the film i find them difficult to understand. I read the bible story as a child and was always aware of the darker side to it which this film reflects. I did read it from the bible though not some watered down versions which removed all the hard and difficult parts. The old testament is full of hard and difficult stories and Noah is one of the hardest to accept as a christian. Because as Christians we are raised in the light of the new covenant of the new testament which make our view of the old testament seem awful, terrible and harsh. But the film is much nearer to the story that i read than any film that i have seen before. If anything it was not dark enough there was only one indication of the beings who where the children of fallen angels with human women. Yes it is one mans interpretation of a a story a lot of people believe they know but don't knock that interpretation if it is nearer to the original than your own. Ignoring the biblical questions the story is a good story and the characters are well drawn and Russell Crowe plays a tormented man that I could believe. The supporting actors were all believable though the men were weaker than the women. Yes you could take notice of the accents but that is ok because it was before Nimrod LOL. I think its a film I could watch over and over again because of the depth of the story. But if you want a children's version of Noah's ark which you can walk away from with a smile on your face this is not for you.
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25 of 30 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars This film was absolutely terrible. I have to agree with the opinions of ..., 11 Nov 2014
This review is from: Noah (DVD)
(Note: Some spoilers)

Ok. I only ever write these reviews in the hope that i can possibly save someone else from wasting two hours of their life. This film was absolutely terrible. I have to agree with the opinions of another reviewer when they said they felt at one point they were watching "Transformers". I felt that throughout the whole film , they were trying to mimic the Transformers Hollywood "formula" and create a Michael Bay film set in ancient times, it felt wrong and forced. Ok, so where do we start?

In the beginning .... (sorry , had to) .. i dont know how, but i knew from the first 2 minutes of the opening titles that this film was going to be awful. The introductory opening focused more on creating an arty, pretentious tone with what seemed like childlike graphics and title fonts. This initial artistic cinematography made me feel like the whole film was going to be a journey into the life of Noah , seen from the perspective of Andy Warhol. (slightly exaggerated, but you will get my point).

The back story heavily copied films such as Lord of The Rings and Thor in its presentation, which would be fine if it were not blatantly obvious and poorly executed. As this story is so well known maybe i expected a simple,natural plot introduction to convey the time period in which it was set. Instead we get an epic introduction which elevates biblical characters/gods into what felt like comic book super heroes.

Anyway, after the disappointing opening, everything calms down and a story begins to emerge. This is the ONLY part of the film where i thought "hey , this might turn out alright" Unfortunately just as i was getting into the storyline and my subconscious had nearly forgotten the abysmal opening we are presented with the rock people. (Watchers) .. Instantaneously i am transported into a cross between "Transformers" and "Iron Man". This was the "nail in the coffin" for me. Now to put this into perspective, i love the Iron Man films and i also really liked Transformers because they work perfectly with regards to story and context. This use of CGI doesn't seem to work within the context of a biblical related film. I don't know why , my brain told me so :) I am not religious in the slightest but i think we may associate biblical stories in our mind from the perspective of physical reality in it's simplistic form .. so this use of technological imagery makes our minds less immersed in the story to the point where we consciously observe the film as silly or nonsensical.

Once you are completely taken out of a film in this way then it's pretty impossible to re-engage. It is also at this stage far easier to see other nonsensical aspects of the film you wouldn't see if you were engaged in the story. For example .. "Noah" coming back to the ark with a shaved head that could only be achieved with electric clippers. Also, when a full forest grows in seconds from a barren wasteland you will probably ask yourself "If god just made a forest out of nothing then why didn't he just create the ark as well" .. Questions that would have been overlooked had i been fully engrossed in the story.

It's hard to believe this film actually cost $125 million to make. The Shawshank redemption (i use this example because of popularity) cost $25 million. Although they are completely different films it is safe to say that great storytelling will always engage the human mind first and foremost. Any additional effects should be used sparingly if it does not suit the context of the film.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Good film but uncomfortable viewing., 2 Nov 2014
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This review is from: Noah (Amazon Instant Video)
Noah is a well made film - excellent production, good acting and impressive set and effects - but not such an enjoyable film to watch. It's very long winded and quite depressing. You have to admire Aronovsky's courage to tell the uncomfortable side of the story about the sort of man Noah was, instead of the nice version that is more popular, but it does make it slightly unpleasant to watch.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Light entertainment is not here..., 3 Sep 2014
This review is from: Noah (Blu-ray)
This is one dip into madness and religious fervour. If you're looking for a children's story look somewhere else. Aside from the fantasy creatures there is no light relief in this film. It is loosely based on the 'the flood' in the Old Testament and Noah does reflect the brutality of that story. The horrific slaughter and screams of the dying makes this a disturbing and unsettling film.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars ...erm...., 1 Oct 2014
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This review is from: Noah [Blu-ray] (Blu-ray)
Russell Crowe doing "angst" wandering about in a dressing gown. God being so shy He hides behind clouds, Ray Winstone playing Ray Winstone and Anthony Hopkins looking like he took the wrong turn out of the pub. Truly dreadful - this is an excuse for CGI. Somewhere floating out there in an imaginary flood is a very small script...that nobody bothered with.
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17 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A vision of an earlier form of the world..., 26 Aug 2014
This review is from: Noah [DVD] (DVD)
I loved this film. I tried not to read too many reviews beforehand, but it was difficult not to have been affected by negative opinions. However, very soon after the start, the story caught me up and Noah and I were on our own. I felt as if I was walking alongside human beings who were still puzzled by the young world they inhabited; still struggling to understand the nature of the creator. There was at times a post-apocalyptic sense, as if Noah and his family were alone in their fight for survival (although when the other inhabitants of the world showed up, keeping well away seemed a good option). The Watchers' fate - transformation from beautiful beings of light into ghastly, creaking stone giants - was impressive in its vindictiveness, and straight away let it be known that we were in the realm of a god who wasn't going to mess about when it came to punishment. Unlike other reviewers, I didn't find the pre-deluge part overlong; it was necessary, surely, in order to allow some sort of appreciation of the world about to be destroyed. And, in response to comments that questioned the presence of metal technology and other later discoveries in the antediluvian world, surely that was the point being made: the pre-flood world having been utterly destroyd by the creator chucking his toys out of the pram, nobody could have any true conception of what it had been like.

I was very impressed by Emma Watson, who touched me profoundly in many aspects of her performance. And Russell Crowe was outstanding: a man in torment, trying to carry out the orders of a god who chose to communicate only obliquely, leaving the man he/it had selected to save creation fumbling about in the dark as he tried to do the right thing. If that was how this god treated his favoured ones, no wonder he didn't hesitate to wipe out everyone else. And, indeed, one of the most haunting parts of 'Noah' was that terrible moment in the ark, where the frantic cries of the dying rang out as the waters rose relentlessly higher and higher up the last bit of high ground.

While I can appreciate that this take on the familiar Old Testament tale might upset some, I do urge you to see for yourselves. Seen in the context of early myth - of human beings struggling to make sense of their world - I found it thought-provoking, moving, and incredible to look at. Give it a go.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Noah Good, 4 Dec 2014
This review is from: Noah (DVD)
This is a confused and ultimately disappointing film that struggles to decide whether it is a Bible story, 'Indiana Jones adventure' or sci-fi genre. The adverts that precede the film promote the latest 'Transformers' film , which linked well to the absurd 'rock-men' who seemed to detest humankind, but were happy to protect the good-guys.
Noah and his family are seen to live in a featureless moonscape that surely couldn't support life, Anthony Hopkins has the ability to perform healing miracles and yet seems unable to find some tasty berries to eat, although to be honest, no living thing would survive in his cave dwelling.
The producers evidently felt that the core story wasn't compelling enough and added a later twist that was surely a poor replica of the Abraham & Isaac sacrifice story whilst Ray Winstone's character would sit more comfortably as Charles Dicken's Fagin.
The original Bible account leaves much to the imagination but sadly, those blanks have been filled with largely nonsensical story-lines.
If I could pick anything positive from this film, it would be a depiction of the Ark and its incredible cargo.
The person who should of course feature prominently in this film (God) scarcely gets a mention and the film is the worse for his absence. This after all is one of the greatest Bible stories of all time,
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1.0 out of 5 stars Dire, 23 Dec 2014
This review is from: Noah [DVD] (DVD)
When I saw the original teasers for this 18 months ago I thought it looked dire but I marvelled at the number of A list stars with their shouts in the trough of awfulness - all bar Emma Watson at the sunset of their careers.
I avoided it at the cinema.
I wasn't bothered about the DVD.
I finally got to see to last night and while it would have been nice to have been proven wrong, alas, I wasn't.
I don't do religion but I would have thought that if you're going to do a biblical epic, it's generally considered a good idea to stick to the source material - they didn't. Other reviews have gone over the plot and the giant trolls/fallen angels so I'm not going to labour the point but this was transformers with a biblical bent and pretty much guaranteed to foster dislike in anyone who cares about the source material, anyone who enjoys the simple spectacle of a modern blockbuster or indeed anyone who resents wasting two hours of their life on utter garbage.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful, entrancing masterpiece., 31 Aug 2014
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This review is from: Noah [DVD] (DVD)
When I first heard Darren Aronofsky was making this film, I have to admit I became very excited to see it almost immediately. Whilst I've never believed in the Noah story I've always found it intriguing for most of my life. As has Aronofsky.

What you have to know about "NOAH", is that it's a movie INSPIRED by the bible story. It is not a literal adaptation. The tale of Noah is a very fantastical one, and as such should be treated that way whether or not you're making a movie about it.

What we get, is a highly innovative, beautiful & dark masterpiece. Russell Crowe gives a stunning performance, His interpretation of Noah is complex, difficult and at points very difficult to get along with. And that in my opinion was a masterstroke by both Crowe & Aronofsky. Why should he be lovable? the world is flooding and people are dying. Of course, he's going insane.

The direction & cinematography is staggering, the landscapes are bleak yet look fantastic to the eye. The special effects were some of the best I've seen. "The Watchers" actually looked like they were physically present and not just "dropped in" to the shot.

In my opinion this film is a total masterpiece, and one of the most highly misunderstood films of recent memory. If you go into this expecting a faithful adaptation(which would be ridiculous) then you'll be disappointed..

Noah gets 5/5 from me.
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Noah [DVD]
Noah [DVD] by Darren Aronofsky (DVD - 2014)
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