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75 of 75 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Alone Together:Making an Asperger Marriage Work
This book has probably saved my marriage overnight. I have AS but didn't realise how my words and actions were affecting my wife. She couldn't understand why I treated her so badly but acted as if everything was OK. This book has given my wife the answers. She realises that my actions and words were not aimed at her and that I did really love her. I am now aware how I...
Published on 25 Sept. 2007 by Mr. M. R. Henderson

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20 of 23 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars A personal account...but not informative!
Whilst I appreciate that this book is a personal account of a womans struggle with her marriage, it is not informative in the scheme of understanding Aspergers. I bought this book after I realised that my husband had Aspergers which has since been diagnosed, and hoped to understand further how best to deal with everyday life. Unfortunately due to every case of Aspergers...
Published on 22 Aug. 2009 by Cleopatra


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75 of 75 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Alone Together:Making an Asperger Marriage Work, 25 Sept. 2007
By 
Mr. M. R. Henderson "Malc.H" (Whaley Bridge, England) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This book has probably saved my marriage overnight. I have AS but didn't realise how my words and actions were affecting my wife. She couldn't understand why I treated her so badly but acted as if everything was OK. This book has given my wife the answers. She realises that my actions and words were not aimed at her and that I did really love her. I am now aware how I affect those around me. The book has allowed the two of us to realise that we can live together each armed with an understanding of the others perspective. If you or your partner have AS you must read this.
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars super book ..., 6 Dec. 2008
By 
Mrs. Sl Parry - See all my reviews
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This book is fantastic, my husband has AS , and this book has helped me understand him more, and saved my marriage.
I couldnt put it down and read it cover to cover in one go, and when finished everything in my life was clearer.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars aspergers marriage!, 9 Jan. 2012
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my husband was diagnosed at the age of 40 with aspergers....reading this book i could relate exactly to katrin and how hurtful and sometimes impossible it can be being married to an aspie, and i cried whilst reading experiences that she had been faced with from her husband, as i was going through the exact same marriage problems.
i dont know if reading this book will save our marriage, but it has made me feel that i am not alone and katrin has obviously been subjected to the same problems as i have had.
unless you have been married to an aspie, i really dont think you have a clue about how bad it can be at times!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars OMG, 30 Mar. 2013
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OMG this book is about me, 51 years old and discovered i've got ASD. First noticed behaviour in my son and we are dealing with that - where did he get it from? Me? OMG YES! Where my marriage is going is not concluded but I'm aware of ASD and fighting to save it. The lady in this book is a saint, after all the perceived bad behaviour and the loss of love between couples it is hard to reconnect - not so hard for the logical ASD but for the feeling NT it is a struggle. Asked my wife to read it and she cried. " It's brought it all back to me!" she said. To me it's a Eureka moment, i've often felt different, thought I was shy, avoided conflict, been internally stressed. I could write a book! Read this and weep - if like me rejoice at the discovery and get to work on yourself!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So far so good, 2 July 2012
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I must admit that within the first few pages of Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work, especially 'The Cactus and the Rose'poem, I had a real good feeling about this book. After looking for along time at different books I think I have found the one that could have been written by me. I dip in and out of the book because being so close at heart it brings tears of relief that there is hope that maybe our worlds can co exist. There's not alot around for Aspergers Marriages and each one is unique to the individual/s so it's best to do a bit of ground work first to make sure that the book is right for you.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!, 2 Aug. 2011
By 
G. A. Page "Clanpage" (Devon, UK) - See all my reviews
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As per some of the other reviews, this book could have been written about my marriage to a partner with Aspergers! What an insight and amazing how many of our own experiences it brought to life - chapter 3 reminded me that my husband said his vows to the priest and completely ignored me at our wedding!!! As the book went on, so did the memories of incidents from the last 20 years - this book meant we were able to talk about them and has certainly opened up the commuications channels for the first time in a long while. Calm, clear communication is a key message from the book. Certainly worth a read.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting read, 22 May 2014
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This review is from: Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work (Kindle Edition)
Although this book was well written and quite informative and it had many Aha moments, I still feel like being married to someone with aspergers is too exhausting, life is hard enough without the added stress of living and trying to understand your partner to this degree.

I was with my partner for 13 years he had undiagnosed AS but he definitely without a shadow of a doubt had AS. I wish I had known earlier that he was on the spectrum it would have stopped me and our son suffering him for years. I was of course looking at my relationship through neurotypical eyes and logic and with that logic I tried and tried to understand him and make him happy, but while I was trying to make him happy I thought who is trying to make me happy? I was totally exhausted, resentful, angry and depressed for a long time and then one day I snapped and told him it was over. It wasn't easy but its been worth it, I am now finding out that I am not stupid and forgetful and unreliable, untidy and many other things, I am actually funny, intelligent, good company and certainly I am not stupid! a man actually laughed outloud at some of my comments which made me remember my old self. I am finding my way out of a fog which I was in for many years.

For me and my son the personal price was too much to pay I had to get out of that anxious environment before it affected me and our son anymore, so I left. I was sick of his anger his self righteousness,pomposity his criticism the lack of support, affection I could carry on but if you are in a relationship with someone with AS you will already know what I mean. Good luck if you can break through I didn't want to try anymore and get nothing back.

I am not suggesting that everyone who has AS is the same as my ex partner I am sure many aspies are wonderful people.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Asperger Marriage, 8 Jun. 2009
By 
WILLIAM JOLLIFFE (London, UK) - See all my reviews
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'Alone Together' is an excellent portrait of marriage when one party is 'differently wired' - that is, neurodiverse. Karin Bentley's revelations deserve to be heard, and thought about, by those who are neurotypical and neurodiverse alike; by those who deal professionally with the neurodiverse, and those who must live with neurodiverse children, spouses, parents. Besides her relevance to the autistic spectrum, Mrs Bentley shows true love: dedication to marriage when facing considerable difficulty.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Useful book for anyone in an AS/NT marriage, 3 Aug. 2010
By 
R. Graceson (Leicestershire, UK) - See all my reviews
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I found this book very useful, and there were lots and lots of Aha moments. The little things that are a part of any AS/NT marriage that *aren't* mentioned in any of the literature and books.

I didn't really learn anything new as such, but discovered some further aspects of my marriage that are common in AS/NT that I hadn't seen attributed before (the overwhelming need for the AS person to Be Right All The Time particularly) so I personally found these insights useful. I can't say this book saved my marriage - if a book could do that we'd all get it! LOL. WE are saving our marriage, and bloody hard work it is too.

I feel like i've gained a little more insight and a lot more understanding of some further areas of our relationship, and also a couple of ideas for dealing with these misunderstandings.

It isn't a textbook, it is a personal account of an AS/NT relationship. It isn't full of theory and evidence-based information so if that is what you are after then this isn't the right book. If you are looking for an honest and in-depth portrayal of an AS/NT marriage over a long period of time (I think 15 or more years?) then this is perfect.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Yet, 5 Nov. 2011
Alone Together stands alone to me as the best biographical account I've read of how to improve an adult Aspergers relationship - written by the NT wife. The writer is honest about the difficulties, but what comes through is her insight into the AS perspective and the handicap it presents. We can only imagine how her husband had managed to succeed to the extent he had without all of the sensory assistance an NT like myself has, in interpreting and communicating feelings accurately. Her insight, dedication and unselfishness are remarkable and inspiring.

It helped that her AS husband was already successful in his career, had a personal interest in a recreational sport, and that he was - after learning about Aspergers - more responsive to her attempts to logically present other people's perspectives. The children also rallied. I guess the most encouraging thing is that for them it works, and so, it can work for others too. Everyone needs to know they are appreciated - including the apparently unappreciative (and often unaware of being appreciated) AS man. It's a personal, family challenge worth taking on, because we love each other and, in truth, everyone has handicaps. The sources are sometimes harder to identify and deal with; and the outcomes, more severe. This author has done an excellent job in sharing their life together to inspire others.
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