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Customer Reviews

3.5 out of 5 stars31
3.5 out of 5 stars
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on 19 December 2014
I'm not an angry customer by the way, my stupid name just says that for some reason. I loved this movie, and everyone who was involved in it... Especially Lindsay, she gave a stunning performance, the film was shot stunningly with a low budget to work with. It was a film about Hollywood without a hollywood style, which was interesting to watch. James Deen's acting didn't convince me, he was constantly putting on that stupid mirror face the whole movie, which is really annoying. Mainly because you lose touch with the story sometimes when he does it, and his delivery isn't on point either, but for a porn actor it was fine, he did well for his first film outside of that industry.

Altogether a fantastic film, I'd recommend this to you solely from Lindsay's performance. She has a presence on screen (and when I seen her on stage in London) that just hooks you for hours.
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TOP 1000 REVIEWERon 25 February 2016
In this 2013 drama Christian (James Deen) is a wealthy independent film financer, who has an open relationship with his bisexual girlfriend Tara (Lindsay Lohan). Christian claims that Tara will never fall in love with anyone he brings into their bed for casual sex. But is this true, or is he living an unsustainable fantasy and what secrets does Tara hide?
The opening credits show a bleak decaying urban setting and equally atmospheric music. But the early scenes show a ‘stiff’ [no pun intended] acting style with little emotion and Christian is a quite unlikeable control freak, Lohan looks tired, her voice often croaky, their relationship lacked chemistry and most characters walk and talk in an unconvincing mechanical manner while the ‘atmospheric’ pauses are too long [lose a*] .
The single disc loads to a menu offering play, chapters and set up [audio is default 5.1, subtitles in most scandavian languages].
Although filmed on a modest $250,000 it actually looks above it’s weight, being well filmed with plenty of suitable locations. This has both male and female frontal nudity, swearing from the outset and adult themes, including 3-4 brief non graphic sex scenes which are anything but erotic. An obvious late night Tv ‘adult’ movie that despite a promising plot seems to have thrown it away losing the bulk of the first hour getting to the main point. The best thing is the music, but like the ‘sexiness’, there’s far too little of it [lose another*] making this seem longer then the 96 minutes. However it comes together in the final 30 minutes which is *****, and stops this being a waste of time.
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on 14 January 2016
I did my research before I watched this and watched anyway. Maybe I'm a masochist...

It's a very low budget movie, written by Ellis with Deen in mind. He seems to want to recapture the magic of American Psycho but this misses the mark. Since the role was essentially written for him, James Deen had to be in it and being that porn stars aren't known for their acting chops, this was obviously a risk. However, Deen isn't as bad as I thought he might be. Yes, he pulls his arrogant face a lot but I get the feeling he was directed to play it that way because there are moments when he isn't posing and is more 'real' so it's a shame he didn't bring more of himself to the role. He certainly looks the part of a spoiled trust fund kid, if anything, and I think with a few actual acting lessons, he'd do better in another role.

Lohan (Tara) is a mess. Physically, she looks one step away from rehab. This helps in that she is such a wreck, her chaotic life and messed up relationships in the movie actually make a type of sense but I personally, don't see Christian's character being attracted to that. He chooses people from an app based on looks for hookups, even the girl he cheats on Tara with looks better and more together than Lohan. Harsh but true. Lohan gives little glimpses of being an actual actress, especially when she's a sobbing mess (I guess she didn't have to dig too deep in that regard) but you can tell the director had to basically shove her along to keep the movie afloat.

The sex scenes have been over hyped because I've seen more explicit stuff in American Horror Story. For an orgy with real porn stars in it, this was tame in the extreme (apparently, Lohan didn't want to do it and freaked out so much the director had to strip to make her more comfortable).

Funk was forgettable and his character Ryan, unlikeable. I didn't see him as the victim, if anything he seemed in his own way to be as manipulative and messed up as Christian for the most part. He was selfish and driven only by his desires for fame and Tara.

The other female actors, Houston and Brooks, just seem to be window dressing as they don't offer much or add to the acting standards of the movie.

Visually, this is quite stylish at times. Deen is always immaculate and outshines Lohan in this regard. They did as much as they could with such a meagre budget but Ellis & Schrader missed the mark trying to make a micro budget movie look like a $10,000,000 one.

Overall, the movie's real downfall, other than shaky acting, is that it doesn't really go anywhere. There is little action and a lot of times I was tempted to skip ahead but I wanted to see it through so I could give an honest review. This is a short movie that felt longer than it should, mostly because you don't empathise or care for any of the characters. Gina, the only innocent party, is barely in the movie.

It's a bad sign when the porn star is the best thing about the movie.
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on 23 November 2014
Can Lohan get any worse?? This was a messy film, so so slow and so pointless. James Deen the porn star was awful but Lohan was the worst thing in it

I cant even describe the story or the script
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on 7 August 2014
Not the best movie around Lindsey isn't very great imo James Deen is the best thing about it and when you consider he is a former porn star doesn't say much :/
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on 28 December 2014
A very good film,a little bit sad.But good
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TOP 1000 REVIEWERon 23 August 2014
The Canyons is not a good film. However, I stuck with it all the way through. I could have turned it off, but I didn’t. And, even though I knew it could have been better, I didn’t entirely regret the experience. Because, somewhere buried deep within the screenplay, is actually quite a good little film.

It’s written by (American Psycho-famed) Brett Eastern Ellis, who specialises in showing us shallow, rich, decadent characters. Therefore, don’t expect to particularly identify or relate to any of the leads. It’s about a rich young man who has links to the film industry. He starts to suspect that his girlfriend is having an affair and sets about destroying his potential rival.

Its plot is nothing special, but, there must have been a way of getting a little more intrigue out of it. However, all you have is beautiful people, wandering in and out of equally beautiful (or actually quite sleazy) locations, having conversations and then moving on to the next.

Yes, despite being pretty short on action, it definitely had a ‘vibe’ to it. It was certainly raw, as if it was filmed on video without much thought going into the shots’ framing or lighting. If you’ve seen David Lynch’s Mullholland Drive, then you’ll know the kind of haunting atmosphere which was created here (only minus the supernatural element). That’s the main reason I stuck with it. The film was genuinely creepy, showing us much of the seedy underbelly of L.A.

It’s a hard film to watch, especially during the first two halves, as little excitement is contained within. If you’re looking forward to the sex scenes, they’ve been somewhat exaggerated and you can probably find better on Youtube! You need to be in the right frame of mind to watch quite a slow movie with no real redeemable characters if you want to get something out of this film.
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on 17 March 2016
strange L.A. slasher movie, another showcase for the talents of actress lindsay lohan, and the actors, friends and film crew.
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on 2 October 2014
There's not even any reason to give a synopsis to this dog of a film, its a comeback movie for Lindsay Lohan, and to prove she's serious, she gets naked and does lots of things you would have never expected her to do in Mean Girls....

The fact of the matter is, she didn't need a comeback, she hadn't done anything of really any relevance since the aforementioned film, and then that film didn't sell because of her, it sold because of the fabulous writing and the nasty streak it had.

This is just nasty, and has some streaks, but hey are just from the fake tan.

But wow, this is from the guy who wrote the excellent American Psycho, and Less Than Zero. Even The Informers was a half decent look into the excesses of the rich.

And it's directed by the guy who wrote Taxi Driver. Another wow.....

So again, this is all about the excess of the rich, and how they can influence the lesser people with their money, lifestyle, and bedroom disco lights.

But to be fair, any film that has some called Funk in the film, and James Deen, has to be going somewhere.

That's right, straight in the bargain bin.

Worthless filth.
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on 8 May 2016
if you are a Lindsay Lohan fan, i advice you dont buy this terrible movie, one of the worst films i have ever seen
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