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43 of 43 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a life-line for parents of adopted or fostered children!
I read this first when I was fostering my (now) adopted daughter. It was like being given a translation dictionary for a language I didn't speak. It helped me understand and communicate how much I loved her and wanted to help. I bought it again recently because I need it for continual reference. Buy it, read it, re-read it. No-one else told me this stuff! Everyone...
Published on 26 Mar 2009 by Short Read

versus
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
good real for foster carers
Published 9 hours ago by antony millington


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43 of 43 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a life-line for parents of adopted or fostered children!, 26 Mar 2009
I read this first when I was fostering my (now) adopted daughter. It was like being given a translation dictionary for a language I didn't speak. It helped me understand and communicate how much I loved her and wanted to help. I bought it again recently because I need it for continual reference. Buy it, read it, re-read it. No-one else told me this stuff! Everyone said the naughty step works (which it does for children who aren't disturbed). Children who have sufferred need a different approach. Thank you Dan Hughes.
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64 of 65 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Applying the theory of trauma, 13 Sep 2007
By 
Edith Reyntiens "The book worm" (Dumfries, Scotland UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.
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51 of 52 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The answers for Parents and Carers of Unattched Children, 5 Oct 2009
By 
VMB Moffet "Baron" (UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
If you are experiencing such problems, do read "Building the Bonds of Attachment" by Daniel Hughes.
Our daughter and her husband adopted a lovely two year old boy. They were given no information of the damage caused to him during his first year of abuse and abandonment by those to whom he looked for love, protection and sustenance, his parents. Eventually the infant was removed and Fostered, though sadly this was to a woman, poorly monitored and without the ability to cope with her own children let alone those Fostered by her. Neither his Parents nor his Foster Carer had the ability to give him the love, structure and confidence in adults that all children need to build bonds of loving trust with those controlling their lives.
Our Daughter and Son-in-Law spent five years in a desperate search to understand how they could help their loved but hugely demanding adopted son to control his rages and inexplicable behaviour. His school did try to understand him but still excluded him a day for bad behaviour.
Daniel Hughes's book was a revelation to them and to me. It confirmed that some things that they had tried were mistaken but others could be built upon. At last they and their son are to receive real Attachment Disorder Syndrome Counselling and find the hope of enabling their little boy to let go of his perception of being bad and in exchange learn to love and trust his new family in complete confidence.
Read this book with relief that, with the correct counselling, there can be a good future for such tormented children, avoiding the
life of crime and prison which would otherwise be their lot, to become the happy settled person locked inside.
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136 of 141 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for foster parents!, 14 May 1999
By A Customer
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her ability to function in a normal life. There were ideas and strategies in this book that worked (no matter how strange they sound). Dan Hughes knows what he is talking about. As a professional foster parent, I appreciate the straightforward language used in this book. I would recommend this to any person dealing with an attachment disorder child. It brings a much needed awarness to this overwhelming issue in surrogate parenting.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's was about my little one!, 30 Oct 2009
By 
Mrs. Rebecca Bartley (England) - See all my reviews
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Must read for anyone thinking about adopting a neglected child. I was amazed to be reading about my little one. This book is now being passed to family members to enable them to understand why I handle my little one the way I do. I'm not going mad and I'm doing the right thing and it was nice to find a book that made me realise this.Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Building the bonds of attachment, 1 Dec 2009
A really fantastic book. I have been fostering for five years and I think that all fostering agencies ought to give all their new foster carers this book to read before they begin to foster. A hugh insight to the 'life' these children have before they come to us and how their actions are a pure result of their past. It was easy to read although slightly Americanized with words like 'sweetie' & 'mom' but it has been invalueable and I really didnt want to put it down.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Building the bonds of attachment., 20 Nov 2011
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This is a really good read, worrying, as it reflects different parts of each of my two adopted daughters. Gives some good ideas on dealing with different situations. A really good resource and easy to read too.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read, 30 Dec 2012
By 
M. Reed (Reading, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I'd heard a great deal of praise for this book and wondered if it could possibly live up to the hype. Well it does, and then some. As a social worker with a great deal of experience working with foster carers, and with a background looking after children in residential settings, I can honestly say that Daniel Hughes' insight in to the experiences of abused and traumatised children is inspirational.

The book is easy to read. The combination of narrative followed by commentary makes it accessible in a way that many text books aren't. Katie, though herself a fictional character, personifies the stories of so many children I have known over the years. It is obvious from the very first page that Dan Hughes cares profoundly about these children and wants the reader to care too. One becomes immersed in Katie's story, willing her and those around her to heal the deep wounds caused by the abuse she has suffered at the hands of her parents.

The book shows how important it is we get things right from the outset. It demonstrates how when we don't we can compound the harm done to children in our care. That said, this book is about optimism. We can make a difference and we can work hard to ensure that children like Katie have a future. This book deserves to, and ought to, be read by everyone working with "deeply troubled children".
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars a bit hard going at farst but once into it you can not put it down, 6 April 2014
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This review is from: Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children (Kindle Edition)
my son is adopting a child of seven, and I hoped it would give an insight to the problems he might face, it did this and more, I so wish i had read it before I had my own family, I recomend it to every parent, especially those with difficult children, I have so often seen bad behavior and thought a sharp smack might put that right, now I understand there might be more to it than I can see.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A good insight into the mind of a troubled child, 15 Aug 2008
By 
Victor Meldrew Mk2 "stefan morawiec" (Dorset) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)   
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My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it makes suppositions and at times is based pon anecdoatal supposition rather than fact. Alowing for my negative comments, the recent publication comes with revised comments and does help somewhat to address some of the problems associated with looked after children.

The case history is quite harrowing at times, but anyone who has worked with or looked after a neglected or abused child will be able to empathise with the challenges faced in this book.
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