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3.6 out of 5 stars22
3.6 out of 5 stars
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on 21 December 2010
Reading this book helped me to understand so much, when you are in the thick of all the emotions, it is sometimes so hard to analyse 'what and why'which is what I needed to do. It also covers the subject from the person who is having/had the affair, as well as the 'victim' which was also an interesting view point. Would not hesitate in recommending this book
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on 22 November 2014
This was an incredibly helpful book as it posed both sides of the relationship. My errant other half has now agreed to read it and I think he will find it very insightful
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on 8 November 2010
This is yet another brilliant title from the Relate collection of books. I am a counsellor with Relate and have recommended this, and their other books, to friends and clients who are experiencing relationship difficulties. You will find the books insightful, supportive and easy to read and understand. I cannot recommend them highly enough.
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on 21 October 2013
A friend asked me to order this following a painful separation it had been recommended to her by relate. Found it extremely helpful.
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on 13 April 2013
Not as good as I had been led to believe in fact I have only dipped in and out of it because I think it is poorly written
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on 19 October 2014
Another very helpful book on a very difficult subject,but probably a common occurrence.
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on 13 February 2013
Great book would reccommend this to anyone who has being betrayed - warning though it is very sad reading but helped me a great deal.
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on 6 February 2015
Sadly the book jumps around too much and is too broad for my needs - I skipped whole sections which were just not relevant. it would have been better to split it into sections for couples, married and married with kids and kept the information for those groups together
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on 28 October 2012
Purchased this book for obvious reasons!The book is not at all useful and is actually annoying and so very disappointing.
It talks about trust for the first couple of chapters, which is awful, because trust is something you are painfully aware that you no longer have!
It then goes on to repeat that affairs happen for a reason, and both parties in the relationship are always accountable and that the signs were there, you were just too ignorant to see them.
It then contradicts itself by saying that sometimes affairs happen for no reason at all and gives an example of a man simply going off with someone else. In the scenario it barely touches on the unbearable pain that that women is then left with.

It doesn't mention the different stages of grief, it doesn't mention the different stages of putting away the old and accepting the new relationship. The book is absolutely useless. I have found better resources for free on the internet.

Needless to say please do not allow this book to reflect on the quality of Relate counselling, which I have found to be truly outstanding.
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on 13 December 2013
I work as a psychotherapist and am currently studying couples work. Having only worked with one to one and usually with the person who hadn't had the affair, I wanted a good general overview before studying this module.This is an excellent book, looking at the causes of affairs, how to work through the issues this throws up, both within the couple and the ripples affecting the families wider circle. It doesn't judge, offering helpful, balanced and useful help for all those involved. I have already recommended it to members on my course.
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