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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
It can be difficult to know when you're being assertive or not can't it? I know this myself, and that is why I chose to read this book: so I know what I am doing the next time I need to negotiate, or make my point heard.

At times I was slightly getting annoyed when I was losing arguments with people, and this was in itself annoying; but after reading Conrad and Suzanne's book, things were clearer. There are exercises where you test out what you've saturated from the book, and see how you get on. You can even keep a log of what you've done.

Some of the sections in here are invaluable; like the win-win scenario. This is where both parties don't feel like they're losing out. There is also a great part on communicating assertively, so you can make your point heard rather than looking like a mad man or woman. There are also sections on how to gain respect at work, from others and get the best out of others. This is going to be invaluable if I ever make management material.

I think the key to this book getting five stars for me is the sections on family, friends and neighbours. At times I have had trouble with all these categories for one reason or another, so it is nice to find a decent write up on what you can do to make both parties win, or just feel not too bad for losing. There's also a lot on dealing with conflict, which surprisingly a lot of people cannot do, or simply avoid. This might be due to issues in the past where they've been enthralled by conflict.

This book is good, it's not claiming to be an ultimate book of assertiveness and speaks to you in a very professional tone. The text is not too challenging either, so it is easy to understand. The examples are quite realistic and helpful, keeping it basic so you can follow the issues raised. There are no confusing diagrams and the exercises are not too hard to follow. Finally, a book that can really be easily followed and not drawn down with jargon and psycho bable, this can be read by anyone from all walks of life.

Well recommended - a good read for anyone.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
If I were the Potts I would be taking quite an assertive stance with the publishers of this book, who have turned what is obviously a well-written and informative script into a poorly produced nightmare. The charts are all over the place, and often run on from page to page. Key facts that need highlighting are lost in the text. Diagrams are scant and humourless. As most books on assertiveness contain pretty much the same material this poor production will make the difference between customers buying this one or another. As it stands the book looks like one you might be handed free at the end of a course rather than one you would buy.

One thing I particularly like about this book is that it contains many workplace issues, including when to stop trying to negotiate, and how to be assertive in meetings. Very useful.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
TOP 100 REVIEWERon 9 August 2013
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I rarely read self help books. Not because I don't think I have anything I could use a little help with now and then, it's more because most of the self help books I've come across only ever have a few tiny sections that are applicable to whatever thing I have issues with. It's a slog through some of them to get to the pertinent bits. This book doesn't suffer from any of that though. Personally I found it really interesting and very readable, whether from start to finish or dipping in and out of the sections out of order.

Although I consider myself to be fairly assertive already I felt that there are always lessons still to be learned and anything that I can use to improve this area is welcomed. Sections deal with most aspects where assertiveness can be beneficial, whether it be making friends, job interviews, dealing with complaints, confrontations...almost any situation can be applied to the advice given or tailored to specific scenario's and I can't find fault with any of the book.

Good, sound advice, easy to digest, practice exercises, checklists, self analysis, situational examples - it's all here if someone wants to put in the time and effort to learn from it.

I think this is a really valuable resource for anyone, whether they already have some assertiveness skills and want to improve or are starting from scratch to build up assertiveness and looking for a total 'how-to'. It's all here.

Super book!
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon 11 September 2013
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I'm 50-50 on this book. I did like the layout and the book did seek to cover many areas of conflict including work and friendships as well as personal relationships. On the down side, however, I felt the advice given was rather naive in places and assumed everyone was really nice and reasonable if you only stood your ground and reasoned with them! I liked the scenarios where the issues were dealt with through face to face conversations I just found that the people I deal with do not respond in such idealistic reasonable ways as those in the book. A good idea and helpful in places.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
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What's great about this book is the very clear distinction it makes from the outset between real, positive and assertive behaviour, with agressive ways of speaking and behaving. The line is so easy to cross, and so any book of this nature has to tread carefully. This edition does a brilliant and careful job of it. The comparison to make between assertiveness and passive-agression is an easier one to deal with, but likewise, the book does an excellent job of demonstrating and teaching assertiveness through contrasting, real-world examples of both these negative modes of conduct and attitude.

The examples are drawn from all walks of life - not only the usual workplace scenarios you'll get in books like this, but assertiveness when dealing with friends, family and beyond. If you're having trouble standing your ground, feel you're being taken for granted by others and find it hard to say no to unreasonable requests, then they're dealt with thoroughly for all kinds of situations.

The instruction is clear, the examples credible and instantly applicable to everyday life, and you'll get reinforcement in the form of mini-exercises throughout the book. A practical and helpful guide, particularly if you're coming at it from a rather passive natural state (as I was!) - and it's nice and concise, a quick read which gets straight into the nitty-gritty.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
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Before I get into my review, I believe the reviewer `PsychicSadie' has made a very interesting point that we live in `very negative times', and that it is important for people to have the correct skills to manage their interactions with other people and organizations that may not have your interests at heart, or necessarily care. I am not saying the world is `battle field', however, I am sure you get the point I am trying to make.

My thoughts on the book:

This book is very user friendly and is relatively `jargon' free, any science that there maybe is expressed in layman's terms. The book begins with defining what it is to be assertive, and what it is not. There some good real life examples, as well as section that will test your ability to understand and putting into practice what you learned. Each section of the book is in nice manageable `chunks' that are easy to digest, the book flows well with each section complementing the last, while at the same time building up your understanding, this book is highly recommended.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon 19 October 2013
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I have a problem with assertiveness despite having been the MD of a company. I often don't assert myself right from the start, assuming that people will know, leading to misunderstandings and people taking advantage of the situation leading to me erupting in anger when things go wrong. I was therefore pleased to get some ideas from this book on how to deal with each issue before things progress too far. The writer goes through various scenarios describing how to assert oneself and how not too.

Seems that there are 3 sorts of people. Those who are walkovers, those who are too aggressive and those who assert themselves. We are mostly a combination of all 3 but have to think carefully how to word things before confrontation rears it's ugly head.

Some good ideas and a book to return to every now and again to remind oneself on how to handle people.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
I didn't like this book at first;it was quite different from what I was expecting.There were lots of exercises to do,where you had to say which option you would choose in a given situation,then the book tells you whether your response is aggressive,assertive or non-assertive.I thought most of the answers were obvious at first,but as I went along,the situations became more challenging and in the exercise on page 60,Determining your rights,I had a really tough time working out Your Rights and Their Rights.
I started to understand a lot more of what the authors are trying to say;I hadn't expected such a structured approach, as other books I have read on this subject are much more along the lines of,"State what you want clearly,stay focused no matter what."
I really liked the real-life stories in Part 2 and the 5 steps we are given to deal with them:
Wake-up call: Is this happening more and more frequently?
Standing in the other person's shoes : What might they be thinking?
Taking things on when they're small: What in the past have you allowed to happen? Does any of this sound familiar?
Options : What mindset would be helpful? What permission do you need to give yourself to tackle these situations assertively? What win-win outcomes are possible?
Actions.
I particularly liked the ideas of standing in the other person's shoes,and taking things on when they're small.I was also very struck by the overall concept of using assertiveness to gain a win-win situation,and best of all,the "No"Sandwich!
I ended up by being amazed at all I had learned,and I can't wait to put it into practice!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
This book is a simple-to-understand self-help tool that gives clear examples of passive, assertive and aggressive behaviour, allowing the reader/person wanting help to glean where he/she is in comparison, and then to make changes.

Most of us have been on 'assertiveness workshops' at work, but in my line of work, that was really to help drive more sales, and to 'coerce' customers round to our way of thinking, by using the 'right' words; I was always left with a feeling of having learned how to...cheat people whilst seemingly helping them. I wish I'd read this book at the start of my working life, as it shows that assertion is not about winning or losing, but about winning all round, about playing fair and putting yourself in another person's shoes. It certainly makes a lot of sense with the many examples it gives - and would have left me with a clearer conscience, and, I think, with the confidence and conviction to challenge my bosses - as I am able to do now.

For me at age 44, this is not the first 'assertiveness' book that I've read, but it was a good refresher. It's made me see that I've tended to veer into slight aggressiveness via impatience, as I've gotten older, so a re-think is in order. Mainly, though, I think that this would be of most benefit to YA about to embark on life's journey, so I will be passing this onto my son, who's in training to become a teacher - no doubt he will need it. Perhaps also, schools might wish to stock this, for both teachers and students.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon 15 May 2013
Format: PaperbackVine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
At first, I was not excited when I saw the exercises as I almost always ignore any exercises in books I read. But the exercises in this book, and in form of suituations are engaging and I just wanted to do more and more. It became hard to put down the book. So the book says you are either:

=> Agressive - express your rights in manner that violates another person's rights
=> Non-assertive - express your rights in a way that others can desregard, or fail to stand for your rights
=> Assertive - stand up for your own rights in a way that respects the other person's rights

I was mostly in the last category, and yes I am ashamed about it! No I am not stupid, just thought I should not hurt others!

I think it works. I looked at a few situations and their answers. I then, worked out the rest without first looking at solutions. I did very well. My biggest problem has been that I used to give in, even at the expense of being inconvenienced or even experiencing pain. My assertiveness was always affected by not wanting to hurt another person, and not considering what is fair to me and the other person. The book has taught me to say no in a way that sends a message that, it is not possible to do what I am asked to do, but without violating the person's rights.

You read many books, and some are crap, many are great, but once in a while, there comes a book that is just awesome ... this one is one of such. You will be glad you have read it.
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