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59 Reviews
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Read Into Assertiveness
It can be difficult to know when you're being assertive or not can't it? I know this myself, and that is why I chose to read this book: so I know what I am doing the next time I need to negotiate, or make my point heard.

At times I was slightly getting annoyed when I was losing arguments with people, and this was in itself annoying; but after reading Conrad...
Published 17 months ago by DL Productions UK

versus
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Helpful but lacking
I'm 50-50 on this book. I did like the layout and the book did seek to cover many areas of conflict including work and friendships as well as personal relationships. On the down side, however, I felt the advice given was rather naive in places and assumed everyone was really nice and reasonable if you only stood your ground and reasoned with them! I liked the scenarios...
Published 13 months ago by xenofan


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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Helpful but lacking, 11 Sep 2013
By 
xenofan "xenofan" (Kansas, USA) - See all my reviews
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I'm 50-50 on this book. I did like the layout and the book did seek to cover many areas of conflict including work and friendships as well as personal relationships. On the down side, however, I felt the advice given was rather naive in places and assumed everyone was really nice and reasonable if you only stood your ground and reasoned with them! I liked the scenarios where the issues were dealt with through face to face conversations I just found that the people I deal with do not respond in such idealistic reasonable ways as those in the book. A good idea and helpful in places.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Read Into Assertiveness, 28 May 2013
By 
DL Productions UK (Merseyside, UK) - See all my reviews
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It can be difficult to know when you're being assertive or not can't it? I know this myself, and that is why I chose to read this book: so I know what I am doing the next time I need to negotiate, or make my point heard.

At times I was slightly getting annoyed when I was losing arguments with people, and this was in itself annoying; but after reading Conrad and Suzanne's book, things were clearer. There are exercises where you test out what you've saturated from the book, and see how you get on. You can even keep a log of what you've done.

Some of the sections in here are invaluable; like the win-win scenario. This is where both parties don't feel like they're losing out. There is also a great part on communicating assertively, so you can make your point heard rather than looking like a mad man or woman. There are also sections on how to gain respect at work, from others and get the best out of others. This is going to be invaluable if I ever make management material.

I think the key to this book getting five stars for me is the sections on family, friends and neighbours. At times I have had trouble with all these categories for one reason or another, so it is nice to find a decent write up on what you can do to make both parties win, or just feel not too bad for losing. There's also a lot on dealing with conflict, which surprisingly a lot of people cannot do, or simply avoid. This might be due to issues in the past where they've been enthralled by conflict.

This book is good, it's not claiming to be an ultimate book of assertiveness and speaks to you in a very professional tone. The text is not too challenging either, so it is easy to understand. The examples are quite realistic and helpful, keeping it basic so you can follow the issues raised. There are no confusing diagrams and the exercises are not too hard to follow. Finally, a book that can really be easily followed and not drawn down with jargon and psycho bable, this can be read by anyone from all walks of life.

Well recommended - a good read for anyone.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good book. Shoot the production manager!, 1 Sep 2013
By 
D E Barker - See all my reviews
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If I were the Potts I would be taking quite an assertive stance with the publishers of this book, who have turned what is obviously a well-written and informative script into a poorly produced nightmare. The charts are all over the place, and often run on from page to page. Key facts that need highlighting are lost in the text. Diagrams are scant and humourless. As most books on assertiveness contain pretty much the same material this poor production will make the difference between customers buying this one or another. As it stands the book looks like one you might be handed free at the end of a course rather than one you would buy.

One thing I particularly like about this book is that it contains many workplace issues, including when to stop trying to negotiate, and how to be assertive in meetings. Very useful.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very useful and readable..., 9 Aug 2013
By 
Me read (UK) - See all my reviews
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I rarely read self help books. Not because I don't think I have anything I could use a little help with now and then, it's more because most of the self help books I've come across only ever have a few tiny sections that are applicable to whatever thing I have issues with. It's a slog through some of them to get to the pertinent bits. This book doesn't suffer from any of that though. Personally I found it really interesting and very readable, whether from start to finish or dipping in and out of the sections out of order.

Although I consider myself to be fairly assertive already I felt that there are always lessons still to be learned and anything that I can use to improve this area is welcomed. Sections deal with most aspects where assertiveness can be beneficial, whether it be making friends, job interviews, dealing with complaints, confrontations...almost any situation can be applied to the advice given or tailored to specific scenario's and I can't find fault with any of the book.

Good, sound advice, easy to digest, practice exercises, checklists, self analysis, situational examples - it's all here if someone wants to put in the time and effort to learn from it.

I think this is a really valuable resource for anyone, whether they already have some assertiveness skills and want to improve or are starting from scratch to build up assertiveness and looking for a total 'how-to'. It's all here.

Super book!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Jargon free and easy digest self-help title that delivers, 5 July 2013
By 
Amazon Customer "Sussman" (London CA) - See all my reviews
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Before I get into my review, I believe the reviewer `PsychicSadie' has made a very interesting point that we live in `very negative times', and that it is important for people to have the correct skills to manage their interactions with other people and organizations that may not have your interests at heart, or necessarily care. I am not saying the world is `battle field', however, I am sure you get the point I am trying to make.

My thoughts on the book:

This book is very user friendly and is relatively `jargon' free, any science that there maybe is expressed in layman's terms. The book begins with defining what it is to be assertive, and what it is not. There some good real life examples, as well as section that will test your ability to understand and putting into practice what you learned. Each section of the book is in nice manageable `chunks' that are easy to digest, the book flows well with each section complementing the last, while at the same time building up your understanding, this book is highly recommended.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Just what it says, 16 May 2013
By 
Amazon Customer - See all my reviews
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This is a great book. Whether you're aggressive, passive or even mildly assertive, it's always good to check-in your approach to conflict and tricky situations, if only to log just how much you end up losing out trying to people-please.

The exercises are really good, the text is clear and precise and I think it does help you, if only in realising how much you're not giving and not getting in return.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Way Forward, 14 May 2013
In these very negative times and lack of parental training it is vital motivation is given to a whole generation that are all to keen to accept defeat, this book sets people on a pathway to achievement.
Sadie Duclos-Bryce
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great instruction by real-world example, 9 May 2013
By 
R. WEST-SOLEY "Rich West-Soley" (Birmingham, UK) - See all my reviews
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What's great about this book is the very clear distinction it makes from the outset between real, positive and assertive behaviour, with agressive ways of speaking and behaving. The line is so easy to cross, and so any book of this nature has to tread carefully. This edition does a brilliant and careful job of it. The comparison to make between assertiveness and passive-agression is an easier one to deal with, but likewise, the book does an excellent job of demonstrating and teaching assertiveness through contrasting, real-world examples of both these negative modes of conduct and attitude.

The examples are drawn from all walks of life - not only the usual workplace scenarios you'll get in books like this, but assertiveness when dealing with friends, family and beyond. If you're having trouble standing your ground, feel you're being taken for granted by others and find it hard to say no to unreasonable requests, then they're dealt with thoroughly for all kinds of situations.

The instruction is clear, the examples credible and instantly applicable to everyday life, and you'll get reinforcement in the form of mini-exercises throughout the book. A practical and helpful guide, particularly if you're coming at it from a rather passive natural state (as I was!) - and it's nice and concise, a quick read which gets straight into the nitty-gritty.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars You Gotta Put the Work In !, 30 July 2013
By 
elsie purdon "reads too much" (dorset uk) - See all my reviews
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I think the key to this book is probably the need for it to be read properly. i.e. start at the beginning and work your way through slowly and not skip bits. As I tend to do.
I have a tendency to skim through any non-fiction book looking for passages that catch my eye. I can't do that with this book. I had to go through it systematically.
There is plenty of good solid advice here. As other reviewers have said, nothing startling new, but plenty of help.

You need to be prepared to look at how you think about things, the beliefs that you hold, and more importantly, the way you talk to yourself.
To be assertive you want to aim for a win/win outcome. So you also have to be thinking about the other person in the negotiation.
At first I had the impression the book was mostly aimed at work related situations, but that doesn't mean that the help isn't relevant in other areas.
There are chapters regarding neighbours and friends, but I am not sure how realistic being assertive would work with teenagers or others that remain intransigent. I think this book can help me to end up in a position where I will feel better even if I can't "win". I will have at least given a tricky situation my best shot as the book contains plenty of script type examples to get you started.
One of the recommendations near the beginning of the book is something I have worked out for myself, which is to write out notes for a phone conversation so you can concentrate on your tone of voice and listening rather than trying to remember what it is you want to say. Of course this involves having preparation time.

This is a book I am going to keeping reading until aspects of it become second nature to me. At first it feels awkward or false trying to say the "right things" , but after a while it begins to make so much sense and I feel more relaxed with certain people already !
Definitely recommended, as long as you will put in the work. The book won't do it for you. :-)
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Comprehensive and easily read, 27 Feb 2014
By 
Adam Smith (Surrey, England) - See all my reviews
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The book is divided into two parts, the first examining what assertiveness is and how to create it where it is absent in your psyche, and the second examining how it may be used in work, ,family, business situations, or with neighbours. It's easily read, with lots of references to real world situations. Regard it as a self training manual. Most people who have had little exposure to assertiveness training should benefit from reading this book. Easy read with huge potential pay off
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