19 of 37 people found the following review helpful
on 18 July 2013
Having recently sold some spare kidneys on the black market and half of the useable part of my liver, I decided it would be a worthwhile investment to aquire a new TV set.
I spent several weeks researching all manners of makes / models / designs, until finally deciding that having chronic blindness from years of incessant self pleasuring, I would need a setup large enough to illuminate a small town. This being such a set.
Just a word of caution for all those interested, when you make the payment for this set, you will be contacted by the FBI who are required to investigate your financial means as such a large payment could theoretically bankrupt modern day societies. Providing you can give them a full receipt of your recent kidney sales though, you should be fine.
Delivery is extremely swift, placed my order and within 32 minutes the delivery guys were at my door, all 55 of them. Unfortunately, as I do not have double doors though, they experienced great difficulty getting the television through the door, firstly resulting to removing the door frame and finally culminating in them removing the entire outside wall. From this point, i'm afraid to say, it all went downhill. The TV in its nice shiney new box, weighed just short of three and a half tonnes, meaning the delivery guys then had to call in a local crane operator to winch the thing into place.
Once the TV was positioned in the space which I had aptly designated for it, they then proceeded to setup the wall brackets. 16 hours later every bracket was installed and they finally started to hang the TV on my wall. Having done so and connected the power up, we very soon realised that when the TV was turned on, we were all experiencing severe time dilation, out of our window we could see the world moving by at a very rapid speed, yet around my new shiney TV, time was normal.
Because of this, we had a team of scientific investigators turn up, who concluded their investigation advising that due to the sheer mass and power consumption of the set, it was emitting a high intensity gravido-electric field which was affecting the flow of time itself. Perfect, my own personal entertainment providing, time machine TV.
I am extremely exctatic with my new shiney TV, however have been recently advised by the assigned scientific team that should the power unexpectedly fail and the TV not turn off correctly, the gravity wave created by such an event will be large enough to create a microsingularity that would envelop most of the known galaxy. Such an event, they now suspect, was the cause of the big bang that created our universe (damn those irresponsible TV watching aliens).
So to prevent this from happening, you will need to aquire at least 11 UPS devices to work in tandem (or do as I did and buy a small nuclear power plant off the coast of china). This should prevent the time-dilating, singularity creating, universe collapsing big bang gravity wave that comes as a natural side affect of using this set.
Oh, and the remote is nice too! :)