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on 12 December 2013
I bought this book to be prepared for whatever my ex husband had to throw at me, he is a narcissistic sociopath, I didn't get the full blown narcissistic rage but I was better prepared for the "dirty tricks" he was likely to use. As any narcissist or anyone else with a personality disorder of narcissism, borderline personality disorder, sociopath and other traits, this book is invaluable to help you know what you are dealing with, to be able to mentally protect yourself against ANY of the tactics they are likely to use against you. As they regard leaving as an act of betrayal, then you will be viewed as the enemy and that means any and all means at their disposal can and will be used against you. I bought several books while going through the divorce process, which took 2 years and we were still sharing a house together, I wouldn't recommend that but it can be done, I needed every piece of information I could get my hands on, Splitting has been well read, passages underlined, comments in the margins, little post it notes in the tops of pages. Even now we are parted completely, I still read now and again to reinforce to myself why I had to get out, just in case I might forget. If you are in an abusive relationship and it will be abusive if you are living with someone who has a personality disorder then you need to gather as much information as possible firstly to protect yourself and secondly to get ammunition for yourself as they will not go quietly and will do their level best to grind you down till you give up. This book was invaluable to me.
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on 28 January 2015
I bought this book because my now almost ex-husband has come to the realization that he suffers from BPD and I wanted to try to protect myself better during the divorce but I find this book so boring and repetitive that I haven’t finished reading it yet although I have had it for a while and I am not sure that I will finish it. I think that the concepts contained in this book could have been said in less than half the pages. Of course I knew that it was an American book and therefore many things don’t apply to an European court but still I expected to find some pearls of wisdom which I didn’t really find, at least not so far. People who suffer from BPD are blamers and difficult to deal with in court, ok, but does one need a book to find out this? I also feel that the fact that the book often refers to the BPD suffers as being females very unfair because it is known that the numbers are equally divided between both sexes and that women go to the doctor more readily than men so they are more often diagnosed with all kinds of illnesses which doesn’t mean that men don’t suffer from them in even greater numbers but if they don’t visit the doctor no one will know. Am I better prepared for the divorce now I have read part of this book? Not really, no! Still I did discover some interesting, even if sad facts like the way BPD people manipulate the system and I know how frustrating this can be and also the fact that as many countries don’t have legal aid anymore getting a proper defence won’t be possible for a lot of people and that is terrible. The book talks about getting armed with professionals and some people even seem to take loans to do that but many of us can’t do it so we don’t stand a chance, which is my case. I know that I should have a few professionals working with me on this like a good lawyer, a therapist, an asset locator, etc, but I can’t pay for them so I can’t make sure that my rights are respected. My divorce is ridden with illegalities and irregularities but right now I don’t even have a lawyer because my last one was trying to rip me off by doing things that are completely against the law and I can’t do anything to make him hand the case to a knew lawyer I found. He has threated to file a complaint against me if I don’t pay, which I won’t but where on earth am I going to find another one as the one who was willing to take the case can’t represent me against him and to make things worse my ex-husband filed for divorce abroad. As a woman you are very vulnerable in the hands of all these people!
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on 25 August 2011
written by a man with first hand knowledge of what works and what doesnt work when you are dealing with a BPD person in court. its full of case studies and it has been a good read,many good tips .
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on 23 August 2013
Bought for my sister who is going through a divorce with someone who has a personality disorder. This book has really helped her.
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on 30 January 2014
Probably very useful if I was American. Some interesting ideas and coping mechanisms though, I just wish I had realized before I bought this that it's really for a USA audience.
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on 19 December 2015
I persuaded my partner to buy this as he was in bitter dispute with separated wife NPD. I have experience of this and effects of behaviour.

Man or woman going into court - this is a MUST BUY. Do it to the letter and you will succeed. To the way you handle your solicitor - to the way you act in court.

Best of luck.
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on 29 March 2014
Extraordinary descriptions of what I have been living with since marrying and then divorcing a narcissistic personality disordered person. Makes me feel less freakish/helpless. Recommended by psychologist
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on 19 December 2014
A very interesting read. This book was like reading a diary of my own divorce. Wish I had read it before and then would have been more prepared!
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on 23 August 2014
Not quite what I was looking but the information was of interest.Have retained it for reference.
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on 25 February 2016
great book
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