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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A noble effort at comedy/horror
I watched `Stitches' mainly because, as well as loving horror, I'm also a big Ross Noble fan and was interested to see how his stand-up would transfer to acting. To be fair, he doesn't have much to do in the way of acting.

His `unconventional' (sorry, Ross) looks make it easy for the make-up department to transform him into an evil, undead clown, hell-bent on...
Published 15 months ago by Albatross

versus
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A New Freddy?
It has to be admitted that this is a cheap B film, and it isn't a classic like some have become, and I doubt it ever will. Don't expect anything too great from this, although it is an entertaining eighty six minutes or so that you do get. The story itself is a bit silly, but then so are many other horror movies, and it is an easy enough plot to follow; clown dies and...
Published 13 months ago by M. Dowden


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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A noble effort at comedy/horror, 5 July 2013
This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
I watched `Stitches' mainly because, as well as loving horror, I'm also a big Ross Noble fan and was interested to see how his stand-up would transfer to acting. To be fair, he doesn't have much to do in the way of acting.

His `unconventional' (sorry, Ross) looks make it easy for the make-up department to transform him into an evil, undead clown, hell-bent on seeking bloodthirsty revenge on the party of children who caused his death in the first place.

In short, Ross Noble steals every scene he's in. Sadly, he's not in it enough. He doesn't really come into it (proper) until midway through and, by then, you've been forced to watch your usual `teen drama.' As this is a British film, I was hoping for something a little more original than `uber-geek falls in love with beautiful girl who just so happens to be going out with an arrogant jock.' Sadly, that's all we get. All the (non undead clown) characters are total stereotypes. You'll know exactly who'll die the moment you see them.

And die they do. That's where the film excels. I'm guessing it had quite a small budget, but it really makes the most of the gore. Some of the death scenes are truly disgusting (and hilarious in their over-the-topness).

Stitches is worth watching if you like horror and Ross Noble. He provides all the comedy and gore which will satisfy you. However, sadly the film can never truly be a classic, as the first half is pretty bland and the second half is only ever really alive when the (dead) Ross Nobel is on-screen.

It's a good film that's (sadly) wrapped up in the oldest movie cliché going.

I give it a generous 4/5, based on Ross Noble's performance. If it didn't have him, it wouldn't even get 3/5.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS LAST NIGHT, 3 May 2013
By 
The Movie Guy "Movies from A to Z" (United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)   
This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
Stitches (Ross Noble) is a child's party clown. It doesn't take long for a group of sugar high rambunctious ten year old kids to kill him in a freak dishwasher accident. From ancient Druid/Egyptian clown ritual we know that a clown's spirit doesn't rest if he doesn't finish the party. Six years later, another birthday is held for Tommy (Tommy Knight) and our clown is back for revenge.

This was a fun film, reminding me of many of the 80's cult classics. The killer has personality. The slasher aspect is done in a diverse and enjoyable fashion. While the killing is going on, the film cuts to another scene that "mirrors" the situation. I love slasher film that have a little "artistic" value.

The special effects were cheap, Troma style by design to exemplify the clown aspect.

Parental Guide; F-bomb, brief sex and nudity (nipple slip). Good Redbox rental.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fun little film, 30 Jun 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Stitches (Blu-Ray) (Blu-ray)
We purchased this mainly off the back of Ross Noble paying the role of an evil clown. It's a great pastiche horror akin to that of the Scream franchise. It was thoroughly enjoyable with some grim moments to make you wince coupled with some humorous moments as well.

Worth a watch!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Awful!!!!!!, 4 Jan 2014
By 
Mrs. L. Read - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
Our expectations weren't that high, which was a good thing. Laughable! Awful film! Did make us giggle in a few places though.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Super, 20 Dec 2013
By 
Miss M. R. Hume (UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
A super tongue in cheek black comedy - do not take it seriously and you will laugh your socks off. Ross Noble is excellent!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A New Freddy?, 5 Sep 2013
By 
M. Dowden (London, UK) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 50 REVIEWER)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)   
This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
It has to be admitted that this is a cheap B film, and it isn't a classic like some have become, and I doubt it ever will. Don't expect anything too great from this, although it is an entertaining eighty six minutes or so that you do get. The story itself is a bit silly, but then so are many other horror movies, and it is an easy enough plot to follow; clown dies and clown is resurrected, to get his revenge.

The acting isn't great here, and it does lose pace between the clown's death and his re-appearance. The special effects are rather cheap and not necessarily that realistic, although they do make you think of days gone past with prosthetic effects and not much realism. There is a lot of gore here, and I must admit that I showed this to my parents, who did have a bit of a laugh at this, although my dad, who is squeamish anyway, had to look away every now and then.

This is really like most other teen slasher movies and isn't really that bad to become good, or that good in the first place. This I would recommend more to watch on rental, with mates and a few bevies than to actually own. There are a few bonuses on this disc, a making of, and bloopers, as well as a Q&A piece that was made. This is just okay, nothing special and not really that memorable, although it does give you a few laughs.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Is everybody happy...??, 19 Dec 2012
This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
I LOVE Ross Noble. How can't you? He is down to earth, oddly charming and now, apparently does quite a good turn as an actor!

Saw this at a cinema with a Q&A beamed in via satellite. True to form, the talent spoke beyond their allotted time meaning they were chopped off mid chuckle, but it was clear that the cast and crew are as passionate about this project as any Noble fans will be.

Gruesome, gory and undeniably funny, Stitches awakens that fear we all have in us of clowns! It is a true horror fans horror without forgetting why the casting fell were it did.

Clever, sick, clownish and as soon as possible, an addition to my collection!
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2.0 out of 5 stars Tedious, 16 Oct 2014
This review is from: Stitches (Blu-Ray) (Blu-ray)
A rather poor relation to horror comedies such as ‘Braindead’ and ‘Sean of the Dead’. Like these film ‘Stitches’ has very graphic gore that proves to be the best feature of the film. What remains is very little. A derivative plot featuring unsympathetic and often revolting characters proves tedious. A large part of the film focuses on a teenage party that was difficult to watch as it was so boring and probably only interesting to a teenage audience. I didn’t find the film funny at all as most attempts at humour either fell flat or were just unpleasant. Little wonder the whole thing came in at under 90 minutes with so little on offer.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Reasonable, 23 Mar 2013
By 
This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
Ross Noble is the best selling point of this horror comedy, as he proves to be a very good villain, that as the dead clown quips one liners and uses lots of sight gags as he kills his young victims.

An Irish horror with its tongue firmly in its cheek, as a clown dies at a kids party, and comes back some years later to exact revenge on the little brats responsible.

A note should be made of the director producing team, as the film is stylishly filmed (lots of Hot Fuzz/Sean of the dead style fast editing and death scenes), looks much more expensive than it's low budget, and some (not all) of the effects are good.

However as with all film here are slight negatives, such as the script, which although meant to be cheesy, sometimes even surpasses that level and is just plain silly.

The young actors play such horrible spoilt brats, that its actually hard to care if they survive or not.

Masters of the genre like Wes Craven, with Freddy Kruger and Scream style movies at least managed to put in some sympathetic characters to add some tension, sadly this does not, and so the fun is watching Noble give a great performance as the evil clown.

Funny in parts, gruesome gore in others, a reasonable soundtrack, this is a good attempt at a slasher movie homage, but falls slightly short of the mark.

Still at a reasonably short run time it ticks some horror/comedy boxes, it buzzes along, and is worth a watch.
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1.0 out of 5 stars Wouldn't give it any stars if given the chance!, 17 Aug 2014
By 
F. Terry "F.Terry" (Glasgow, U.K) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Stitches (DVD) (DVD)
I don't even know what to say. I can't believe I watched this right through to the end (I use the term "watch" loosely). This has got to be one of the most ridiculously bad films I have ever watched. It was neither funny or scary. Not much can be said about this other than I wouldn't waste my time watching and I wish someone had told me before hand not to watch!!!
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Stitches (DVD)
Stitches (DVD) by Conor McMahon (DVD - 2013)
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