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You can't get a quart into a pint pot
on 27 May 2013
I bought one of these t-shirts recently in hopes I could convince my ex-wife to wear it while accompanying me to an 80s revival concert. The t-shirt is 100% polyester and I'm not convinced it is really value for money from that point of view. According to the label, it can only be 'sponge cleaned' - although at least that means there is no risk of ironing the thing and melting a hole in it. Nevertheless, it is a bright design and definitely does have a little something of the '80s' about it. I got as far as getting the lady concerned to try it on but my plans for an evening of 80s antics got no further than that. Although she did give me some very interesting and original suggestions as to where I could shove both my tickets and this t-shirt.
I bought the 'Small' t-shirt which, in my opinion, is very much on the smaller side of the '8-10' scale. My ex-wife is very much on the larger side of it, almost to the point of being at least three sizes bigger than that altogether. I knew this wouldn't fit her, but what else could I do? Buying her anything other than a 'Small' would have left me open to accusations of suggesting she was fat and that was a much-travelled road I had no intention of going down again. On the other hand, making her actually look 'fat' wasn't exactly the safest way to proceed either. And the cut of this t-shirt does tend to do precisely that.
She wasn't very impressed. She got quite animated actually, which did nothing to help the situation with this t-shirt. Every time she pointed a threatening finger at me, or gesticulated wildly at me or appeared to be strangling an imaginary me with her bare hands, the t-shirt rode up a little higher. There was certainly no jaunty little off-the-shoulder posing in the manner of the lady in the product description. There was belly fat and there was wobbling. So much wobbling. It is a very unforgiving garment, no question.