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4.7 out of 5 stars42
4.7 out of 5 stars
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on 15 January 2015
One of the best I've read in this category( psychiatry). Very clearly written and easy to understand with exercises to do which I found very revealing and helpful; don't read this if you're looking for help but won't do the exercises; that in itself is indicative of suppression and avoidance!
A book I would refer back to regularly. The author is clearly very experienced and understanding; his patients were lucky to find him. Highly recommended for people trying to gain a better more compassionate understanding of why we do what we do.
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on 9 July 2013
I don't usually write reviews for the books I buy from Amazon, but for this one- I had to. This one stands out.
'Why do I do that?' actually affords you great insight into your own behaviour via its unconscious underpinnings- this is the kind of insight that would usually cost you seventy pounds per hour (at least). This is unusual and incredibly refreshing in its style, it does not follow the usual self-help format (for which I personally am very grateful!).

I genuinely understand myself and even the other people around me, so much better because of this book.
If you need expert help but can't quite afford psychotherapy or are on a long waiting list to receive it? Buy this book. This actually helps.
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on 30 March 2013
What I most liked about this book was the author's honesty that change is difficult and perfect happiness is unattainable. No empty promises here. At times I thought "well, why bother understanding my defences and do all these exercises then?!" Yet he offers hope that self-understanding is possible and that it is worthwhile in its own right.

He explains clearly the difficult psychological concept of defence mechanisms and how they affect what we do and think. His open questions give the reader the opportunity to explore how and why they use different defence mechanisms to ward off pain. Understanding brings the possibility of gradual and sustained change and a capacity to bear the difficulties of life without being overwhelmed and to fully enjoy life's joys.
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on 13 February 2016
I cannot rate this highly enough. I have had therapy in the past and didn't really understand where it was all going - wish I had read this first. Would have saved me thousands.
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on 8 April 2015
Written in an easily accessible way, this is an enlightening and excellent way of checking out our own defences and getting an insight into the defences of others.
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on 21 October 2014
Really pleased with this book. It takes you step by through the processes. Lots of information and ways to improve your personal behaviour.
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on 1 July 2014
This book is brilliant. It's very insightful and the author really knows what he is talking about. I highly recommend this book to everyone.
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on 29 April 2014
If you want to understand yourself better, then this is a must. Helped me realise we are all very similar in our behaviour and thoughts.
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on 4 September 2015
Speechless, not a big fam of reading but this is just amazing. Going to do psychology at uni and this will come handy
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on 31 December 2013
I love Dr Burgo's blog and enjoyed his other book 'Cinderella'. I have re-read this book a few times and refer back to it regularly. It is easy to read and holds many insights that aren't available in other 'self-help' books.

I would recommend this to anyone interested in understanding themselves and those they interact with a bit better.
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