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4.1 out of 5 stars1,084
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on 18 December 2012
This is not a film I would normally watch. I was railroaded into it by my wife on a flight over the weekend. She had started watching it and subsequently persuaded me to interrupt my viewing of another film to watch this. My expectations were low. I'll conclude at the beginning - its brilliant. Looking at the other reviews this is a bit of a Marmite movie. Plenty of one starers to accompany the fortunate majority of five starers. You need to be able to see beyond the superficiality of a talking, swearing bear to appreciate this film. Not everyone will be able to do this. Bad luck guys - you are missing out. I found the comedy fresh and witty. OK, so its rather rude, but thats kinda where its roots are. I've never seen a teddy bear smoking a bong surrounded by hookers. Thats fresh for sure! The wit comes from the way Ted is portrayed - as a down and out human like character trying to cling on to his role as a teddy bear - a little boy's friend who has now grown up. Wahlberg, on the other hand, is a grown man trying to relinquish his role as a teddy bear's custodian. He does it brilliantly too. There is plenty of comedy friction to be had from this unusual situation. I loved the way the story progressed. Deep within it all there are some touching messages to be found. Depending on which side of the Marmite fence you sit this might be easy or hard. But most definitely worth a try
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 8 July 2013
A surprisingly sweet very funny comedy which is not entirely as it seems. Ted is a bear bought to life by a young boy who makes a wish at Christmas for a best friend. Rather than this being a Disney like feel good film of a cuddly toy befriending a human, Ted is a potty mouthed drug abusing z-list celebrity.

After a rise to fame and a fall from grace Ted is trying to lead a "normal" life with his best bud John and his girlfriend Lorrie. However the home is too small for the three of them and it is time for Ted to move on. Throw in a crazed fan trying to kidnap Ted and you have a near perfect recipe ripe for comedy.

Ted is witty, relevant and hugely funny. The gross out humour the trailers allude too is not the focus of the film. In fact that is just a funny facet of Ted's personality. The jokes come naturally through the many situations the characters find themselves in. Ted himself is an absolute triumph. He is such a well rounded character with a sweetness that helps you connect with him.

Both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis are game and throw themselves into the mix. The cgi effects of Ted are also brilliantly realised. His every movement physically and facially perfectly evokes his feelings and there lies the essence of the comedy.

The story is fairly straight forward but this is no bad thing. It gives room for the jokes and the emotional moments to breath. The hit rate is high and he jokes come thick and fast. The only downside is the slightly tacked on feeling of the kidnap plot. It doesn't add much apart from leading into the rather obvious ending but again it isn't enough to detract from the rest of the film.

A very successful comedy that can be enjoyed by all.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 26 December 2012
It's not a family guy episode. It just isn't - don't be put off by the people who claim it is.

What it is however, is 106 minutes of laughs with a smattering of suspense (no, really), and it's rounded off nicely with a heartwarming ending. All of that sounds a biit "meh", but when it's funny it's really funny - Ted going for a job interview at the supermarket had me almost hyperventilating with laughter. And there are some real near-to-the-knuckle comic moments.

Patrick Stewart expertly narrates the opening scenes with excellent comic precision.

If you're a big FG fan, you'll recognise that some of the crew are from FG:
Walter Murphy does the music as he does on Family Guy.
Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild had a hand in the screenplay.

Also from FG:
Lois (Alex Borstein) young John's mum
Joe Swanson (Partrick Warburton) John's work friend, easily recognisible by his voice
And in Ted, Lori is played by Mila Kunis who is Meg in Family Guy.

Other cameos from memory include Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones), Ryan Reynolds, and Norah Jones and Tom Skerritt.
And a special mention must go to Giovanni Ribisi who is an excellent actor, he plays "weirdos" so well.

For me, this was the second best film of 2012 (Avengers if you're wondering), and is well worthy of a place in your DVD collection.

I've knocked a star off because it sagged for 10 minutes or so, don't let that put you off though.
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88 of 106 people found the following review helpful
on 12 September 2012
Ted is hilarious, rude and crude (possibly the word you will see in every review of this movie). The film is cast with comedy gold, with a smattering of Family Guy voice actors thrown in for good measure, and the one-liners smack you in the face right from the beginning. The hilarious narration (provided by Patrick Stewart) supplies a healthy handful of these. The mention of the Apache helicopter was still making me laugh when the film had ended.
What can sometimes be the best thing about a comedy is when it is set in a world that is actually believable - obviously with a living and breathing teddy bear involved this comment might seem slightly strange. However, everything else is plausible, and the animated bear is really well integrated into this world as a second rate "celebrity". From here, the laughs continue to flow.
Some people have described this as an hour-and-a-half long episode of Family Guy, and although the humour is broadly the same, believe it or not, there is much more substance to this movie, with sex, romance, danger, drugs and language used in ways that a twenty-minute episode of Family Guy could only dream of.
As John (Mark Wahlberg) and Lori (Mila Kunis) try to create some kind of life together, Ted's shenanigans (possibly an understatement as these shenanigans often involve parties, drugs and prostitutes) continue to come between them. To John, he is just having fun with his longtime friend. To Lori, John is being influenced more and more by these "shenanigans".
I saw one review describe Ted as "wildy unoriginal", however I'm not sure if you can get more original with a storyline that involves a walking, talking, drug-addled teddy bear. So often, comedies are hit and miss, or run out of steam towards the end. Ted, however, is not one of these and this is why it is probably one of the best and most original comedies I have ever seen. Perhaps the plot is fairly standard, but with the creator of Family Guy at the helm, things don't always go the way you expect.
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
on 26 June 2013
There is nothing like a foul mouthed teddy bear to make for a great movie. Personally I think Zach Galifianakis would have made a better Ted, but then again he has played the dysfunctional buddy role before. As a child John (Mark Wahlberg) wishes for and gets a talking teddy bear. Now that they are in their 30's neither one has grown out of their immaturity with Ted becoming an increasing problem.

John's girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) demands that either Ted leaves or she goes. The humor is what one would expect from watching "Family Guy" with a lot of adult language. It spoofs other films and is critical of many aspects of society. It is politically incorrect. Like "Family Guy" some of the bits work and some don't. If you don't find one bit funny wait a minute and a new one comes along.

Excessive f-bombs, sex, heavy drug use, no nudity.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 10 August 2015
At first I was a huge fan of 'Family Guy', and early episodes still make me laugh. But for a long time now I've found very little in MacFarlane's work to laugh at; there's a line between genuinely funny penetrative humour and offensive boorishness that he crossed a long time ago, and 'Ted' occupies a spot well on the far side of that line. Great concept. Great idea. But in the end result? Juvenile, adolescent, ultimately boring rubbish.
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VINE VOICEon 9 May 2013
This movie is sooooo funny! It's hilarious from start to finish.

It tells the story of a little boy called John, (Mark Wahlberg), who gets a teddybear for Christmas. He makes a wish that his beloved Ted could be real so they could have real conversations. Lo and behold, the next morning he has a walking, talking Ted! He's so cute and cuddly too!

Ted and John remain great friends and Thunder Buddies for life. Things begin to change when John's girlfriend asks John to choose between Ted and her. John asks Ted to move out and sets him up in his own little apartment. This is where it gets very funny. Ted gets a job at a supermarket and is always up to no good.

Add a creepy sideline of a sleazy character played as always to perfection by Giovanni Ribisi, who wants Ted for his own. There are misunderstandings and fall outs ahoy as the film progresses. It's absolutely brilliant! I even found myself shedding a tear or two! But hands down this is a fantastic movie with laughs in all the right places.

Do yourself a favour and just buy it, if you like Family Guy's humour, this is definitely the film for you!
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TOP 500 REVIEWERon 16 February 2015
From the creator of TV's 'Family Guy' comes Seth MacFarlane's first feature film 'Ted', the story of a man's love for his teddy bear.

When loner John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) was only eight and in need of a buddy, he made a wish at Christmas that his stuffed bear could talk to him, and miraculously, it happened. The two grew up together and have a special bond. Fast forward to the present day, and 'Ted' is foul-mouthed, crude and something of a has-been 'celebrity'. The pair of them enjoy taking drugs whilst hanging on the sofa together. However, now in his thirties, John must then made that critical decision in his life, should he stick with his girlfriend or keep his friendship with Ted?

This isn't a movie for everyone, if you're slightly offended - you are not likely to enjoy it, as there are a lot of sex references. Personally, I appreciate such trashy humour, and enjoyed the strange concept, laughing all the way through. Towards the end things become quite heart-warming, and it was nice to see the music video of Tiffany's hit 'I Think We're Alone Now', don't ask!

An off-the-wall American comedy film that I very much enjoyed.
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on 12 January 2013
Hilarious. There is a light plot, and it is "serious" enough to carry the story and keep you watching to the end. It is not simply a farce of gags, which it could easily have turned into. There has been serious effort to make this film work. I think it will appeal very strongly to men because there is puerile humour, but done very well. Mark Walhberg who plays John, the man with the live Ted[dy] bear, is fantastic, and Mila Kuni does very well to play the "straight" role as John's girlfriend. The star is Ted, of course, but it only works because the actors (mainly Mark Wahlberg) play to the bear so strongly. The animation of Ted makes it realistic, whose character is like a human best buddy to John.

The humour will make you laugh out loud. If you like the humour, a second viewing is worthwhile - you will have either forgotten or perhaps missed one or two gags the first time through, probably because you were still laughing from the previous joke or situation.

Buy it and enjoy.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on 19 September 2014
Firstly, let it be announced, this IS NOT a KIDS movie lol.

Strong adult sexual theme throughout, but my opinion is this...

It is one of the FUNNIEST, Hilarious, naughty, and uplifting movie I've watched in a long time. At first, I've delayed watching this film thinking it was going to be one of those silly childlike comedies...

omg, miss it and you've missed a great treat.

I laughed my socks off... didn't even care if my neighbours two roads away could hear me.... it was BRILLIANT .... whilst couldn't believe my eyes at what I was watching in parts... so raunchy lol lol

A fabulous uplifting film for anyone looking to have a giggle, anyone in deep depression and need a helping hand out of it and just for anyone who needs to take a chillax moment and get away from humdrum life.

Story line great albeit why is it always the jealous female partner to cause destruction and mayhem, I wanted to throttle his girlfriend, but she saved the day so all is not lost.

It is NOT what you initial expect I guarantee that, it will outdo any expectations you may have

I hope they make TED 2, I would for sure watch it immediately

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Ted 2 - Extended Edition (Blu-ray + UV Copy) [2015]
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